Christmas magic

[YettaTessieMarmelstein]

My 9 year old DD was sobbing tonight after finding out about Santa. She asked why I have been lying to her, what the point of Christmas is now and can we still have a tree.
I’d really like to still give her a magical, exciting time.
What little touches of (not Santa related) Christmas magic do you do?

Oh no I’m sorry OP that’s tough. We just still act the same here after they know. Still put out mince pies , still put out stockings etc but instead of Santa they try to catch me in the act . It really hasn’t ruined xmas at all here

Christmas Eve is magical hereabouts then after stockings are out and reindeer food is ready we use NORAD to track Santa.
In the morning it’s stockings with everyone in/on our bed.
It probably won’t work for many but Baby Jesus gets put in the stable.
We dress up for Mass - all twinkling and decorated. Then champagne and smoked salmon with friends from church.

For a nine year old maybe the Christmas lights, there’ll be end of term celebrations, decorating the tree together, making mince pies, wrapping presents she’s bought. I’m not convinced it has to be a stream of artificial and effected faux celebrations. The joy is family, friends, giving, just being.

Oh no how did she find out about Santa  sad for her and you 
I think when she is over the shock Christmas magic will still be there. Christmas tree light switch on, build up to the event. Cooking Christmas things and arts and crafts. Still having a stocking. Still having an advent Calendar etc will all help 

Does she like crafting of any sort? Perhaps you could suggest she starts to make Christmas cards to give out to her best friends or close relatives, or maybe find something she can make to give as a gift. If she’s putting her attention on the giving aspect of Christmas, of bringing someone else joy, it might bring a little magic back.
I feel sad for her though, and you! Growing up can be rubbish

We've just lost the Santa magic too, at least for one DC. At the moment it seems to be okay. The stocking will still be hung up, and Christmas morning will still be exciting.
My DC have been more involved in making Christmas traditions as they have got older. We try to see family, we do cooking and baking together, we decorate the house together, write cards, wrap presents, go to a carol service, Christmas fair, winter walks in the dark. Church on Christmas Eve, traditions around Christmas Eve food, Christmas day breakfast etc.

For a moment I thought that I'd be happy not to be tiptoeing around the house at midnight, but I will miss the magic this year. Or at least that bit of it - the rest will still be the same, I hope. I LOVE Christmas, and always have. I remember as a child watching for Santa out of my bedroom window and really wanting it to be just like in the books. But I have really happy memories of Christmas with my parents during my teens and beyond. As Pavlova says, we were lucky enough that there was that sense of joy at Christmas, and that stayed the same even though some things changed.

I asked mine if they still wanted to “play the Santa game” at Christmas and I continue to talk about Santa as usual, and now they play along.

We do more for charity openly now. They choose a gift to put under the giving tree in the shopping centre, and we fill shoe boxes for the homeless. Those kinds of things were harder to explain when they believed.

There are still rituals and traditions around decorating and baking. And choosing and making gifts for our relatives is a big part of the run-up. We open gifts one at a time too so they get a chance to see the pleasure they’re giving, and explain what they’ve given.

As they get older I’m going to change the way we do stockings so that DH and I have one too and we’ll all secretly put in gifts for each other. We can’t try that this year as my niece is with us and she still believes, but I’ll get my dc to help fill her stocking. I think keeping the magic for younger ones is a big part of Christmas.

We’ve never had an elf but I’m considering it for this year, but with the dc in charge of the high jinks.

Don’t forget to let her see that you’re proud of her for working it out and being older and wiser! Nine is an age when not being a little kid is an important part of identity.

There are Magic Makers and Magic Believers.
The Magic Believers are little children. Part of growing up is the transition to Magic Maker, it’s a good sign you’re growing up.
Now, the magic Makers have a very big and serious responsability to continue to make magic possible. Under no circumstances a Magic Maker is allowed to give away the Secret. Or, how I put it to my DD, you tell anybody at school, I’ll eat you alive. You may now have a say in choosing and wrapping presents.

Oh bless her, dreading the day my little boy grows out of the Santa believing age! We've just bought a few Christmas books to read once the build up to Christmas starts in December, (Jolly Christmas Postman, Mogs Christmas, and Raymond Briggs The Snowman and Father Christmas). We also like to bake Christmas cookies (Nigella Christmas book has some great Xmas bakes), and watch Home Alone, Elf, Muppets Christmas Carol once it's December too. Like others have said too, we buy a couple of presents for local children's charities. All helps keep the magic alive as well as reminding our little one that Christmas isn't just about receiving presents, it's also about giving and helping those less fortunate. Maybe she could help you put together a Christmas hamper for a local food bank?

You and your DD could build a special gingerbread house and decorate it with icing, sweets and fairy lights then do an unveiling on Christmas Eve?

Aww that is a shame so young ,it does take away the magic until u have you own children and the magic starts over again.
But if i were u id still do what u usually do but maybe get her to go xmas shopping with u ,help u wrap, watch lots of xmas movies, play board games on xmas eve, let her help u do the tree, get lots of yummy food to eat xmas eve,bake xmas cakes cookies, play xmas music in the run up to xmas. Maybe ask her if there is anything she wants to do ,xmas markets are nice to go too.
I have older and younger children im dreading when my younger ones go through this as xmas is my fave time of the year.so upsetting for us mummies & kiddies but xmas can still be amazing x

Mine are a lot older- mid twenties. They 'think' I believe so we've always gone along with it. They don't want to dispel the myth for me! I now have a soon-to-be 6 year old. They love keeping it all going for her. And still say their stocking is the best bit!

@8FencingWire. That is lovely.

@8FencingWire awww that's lovely.

There is a fab explanation online somewhere that basically teaches kids that we become Santa as we grow up. So every adult/older child is Santa. It’s worth a read, the story tellers child picks a neighbour to buy an anonymous present for as Santa. Maybe you could do something similar and she could pick a present for a sibling or cousin/relative from ‘santa’.

It’s the explanation I’m going to use with DD when she gets to that point. That he might not live in the North Pole but Santa is still real in each and everyone of us.

Love the idea of magic makers and magic believers. I’m going to use that with DS (11) (SEN) who asked me for a sample of my handwriting this morning to compare to Santa’s.

Love the magic makers idea! Thanks everyone

I'm 69. In our house Father Christmas still visits and it's still magical.

We never made December and Christmas all about Father
Christmas but the whole idea of why we celebrate and that we give gifts.
DD was always involved in gift buying and making parcels for the grandparents and did a charity donation like the met office one and she also always got gifts from us.

So, the transition was less sad. We still told her that she has to write a letter to FC and we did the whole carrot, drink and chocolate (FC hates mince pies in our house) in the evening.

Try to focus of the whole idea of Christmas and do things with her without concentrating onto the 25th. There are lots of magical things to do, carol concerts, crafts to decorate the house, bake, go to places which are decorated without a total focus of Santa.

I honestly think you have nothing to worry about. There are lots of good ideas in this thread about the build up. My dc love to do Christmas crafts and take a very active role in decorating the house. We pick one evening near Christmas to get in the car with a flask of got chocolate and mince pies and a blanket. We drive around the different estates looking at the Christmas lights listening to Christmas music. Lots of fun and cheap! On Christmas morning she will be so excited to open all her presents she probably won’t even think about Santa. Most kids over the age of about 11 don’t believe but still have a wonderful Christmas. When I ask my two what the best bit of Christmas is they say it’s presents, food and family.

Do you have any younger children ? The first year my DC1 didn't believe, he got involved with making it magical for his younger siblings and was probably more excited than in previous years!
Explain to her that Christmas is still magical for grown ups and work with her to find out what would make it magical for her. Introduce some new traditions - take her to a garden centre and let her choose a new tree decoration each year, and have a cup of hit chocolate while you're there. Help her plan the food - what are her favourite bits and pieces to have on Christmas Eve or Christmas days snacks.Gingerbread house is a good idea.
My children never had Christmas Eve boxes, wasn't a 'thing' back then but they have them now - just new PJs and some toiletries.
Choose a film together to watch, with nice nibbles.
Feel you pain OP but you can still make it special for her x