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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Oh no. I’ve gone overboard haven’t I?

63 replies

Breadfoam · 25/10/2018 20:51

Dd is 3 on Christmas Eve and despite promising myself I wouldn’t go ott between Christmas and her birthday I think I have. Do I hold some back or just give them to her? The problem with holding some back is that ds will be annoyed if she gets random gifts in the year and he doesn’t (his birthday is pretty much halfway through the year) and will see it as unfair.
Partly why she’s got so much is I feel like it has to last her through the twelve months as she will have to wait that long for the next chance to ask for anything. Also no one else buys for my dc. But still. Gone overboard. Between Christmas and birthday she now has:

Large playmobil stables
Hatchimal playset and small pack hatchimals
Washimals
Play doh oven
Barbie farm vet
Yellies spider
Shopkins happy places small house
Shimmer and shine unicorns x 2 and some figures
Sylvanian large treehouse with a new family
Fairy craft set
Disney fairies perfume
Shopkins birthday cake
Lumiluv unicorn
LOL under wraps doll
Large jungle playset and safari animals
Wrapple
Baby Annabell with pram and highchair

In my defence a fair bit has been second hand - the sylvanians, the playmobil, the shopkins, the baby Annabell stuff and the jungle playset have all been bought second hand from eBay / fb.
But still - too much? Overwhelming? If it wasn’t for ds I’d keep some of it back and let her have it in the summer or gradually during the year.

OP posts:

Perfectly1mperfect · 26/10/2018 07:45

I dont think thats excessive but most posters on here will disagree, they are all usually in a competion as to who can buy the least and most sensible christmas

That made me laugh, it's very true.

I also wonder where all these children are that get bored opening presents ? I have never known a child like that.

Ohanabanana · 26/10/2018 07:45

I’d let her have them. It’s about 8 presents per day and most kids get more than that when you take into account presents from other relatives. If a few days later there are some things which haven’t been looked st much why don’t you pop them in a cupboard to bring out again at a later date? That way they are official birthday/Christmas presents so your son won’t get upset but they’ll seem like new to your dd a few weeks lster.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 26/10/2018 07:47

Are those gifts for b day and Christmas? If they are split between the two days I think that's fine if she hasn't got loads of stuff from other relatives as well.

mama1DC · 26/10/2018 07:49

I think that's fine split between birthday and christmas

ineedaholidaynow · 26/10/2018 07:51

DS has an early January birthday. He was like your DD when he was her age, would play with each present once opened, rather than opening everything then playing with them.
Took him ages to open presents. We let him do it at his own speed, tried to encourage him to open presents from relatives first so we could thank them on the day. One year he was still opening Xmas presents by the time we got to his birthday And he didn't really have that many presents, he just wanted to savour each one.

I have held presents back before to give later in the year, maybe at beginning of school holiday, especially if we weren't going anywhere special. They change so much developmentally when they are young it's hard to cover that when their birthday is so close to Christmas. However, doing that is easier when you have an only child.

greatbigwho · 26/10/2018 07:52

The thing is, that each family is different. Even if it was split 6m apart for a June birthday, I would consider that too much. And my daughter will open 2/3 presents before wanting to play with what she's got. But others would consider that fine for just a birthday or just Christmas.

If you're happy with that, then go for it, and don't listen to the opinion of strangers on the internet.

jeanne16 · 26/10/2018 08:01

Who are these children described here who get bored opening presents? That doesn’t sound like any child I have ever come across. Being able to rip open lots of presents is surely a rite of passage. Only on MN are children only allowed 2-3 sensible gifts!

needsanewname · 26/10/2018 08:03

I don't think it's too much either but then I would open presents all day long if I could, even as a child.

Surely half are for Xmas Eve and half for Xmas day so it's already split in two, how about giving her a couple the night before and Boxing Day as well?

Original poster

Breadfoam · 26/10/2018 08:15

Thank you for the replies.

Yes these are for Christmas and her birthday so split between the two.
I think probably it wouldn’t seem so much if her birthday was more evenly spaced... when she is older we will offer her the choice of having a half way birthday instead in the summer. I’m considering maybe giving her a couple of things at the start of December so at least there is a bit of a gap.

OP posts:

RJnomore1 · 26/10/2018 08:22

I guess some kids might get bored opening things (though I've not met one personally) but that's actually only about 8 gifts for each event and I don't think it's excessive in any way. We are/we're similar to you (kids now older) in that very few other people bought for ours and I wouldn't have hesitated at that list.

NoSquirrels · 26/10/2018 08:26

He is 9 but he is on the autistic spectrum. He would think it was unfair.

Would he find it less unfair if it had a system he could see and understand? Could you tell him your plan, and maybe give her a couple of homemade ‘vouchers’ on her birthday (he could help make them)? Each voucher = 1 birthday present. Then she can ‘exchange’ them throughout the year - Valentines Day/Easter/his birthday. Would that seem fair to him?

Original poster

Breadfoam · 26/10/2018 08:36

Yes actually he probably would see it was fair if I had that sort of voucher system. That’s a good idea, thanks.

The other thing is that I’m not wrapping the playmobil or the sylvanian treehouse or the highchair /pram. In fact I will probably put baby Annabell in the pram ready. These are all second hand toys so already assembled. This means there is a chance she might not open much else and will just play straight away with something set up that she can see. If that happens ds will see me putting away the gifts she hasn’t opened and it’ll be ok to bring them out during the year.
I am aware that they do change a lot over twelve months so it would be nice for her to have something new over the course of the year.

OP posts:

Nellyelora · 26/10/2018 08:52

It's more than what I'd buy my dd3 for bday and Xmas BUT we have large families so the overall amount she receives is probably about the same, perhaps more so we do make a point of only buying her a few things. Tbh, I find it overwhelming trying to sort all her toys out.

The voucher system sounds like a good idea.

Last year I packed away a few of the craft sets my dd received and brought them out during the rest of the year. I'd be inclined to pack away the playmobil because that and the sylvanians are essentially the same type of toy.

I'll have a December child to deal with next year. I'm not looking forward to this present dilemma. I have two friends with boxing day babies and they have been buying a half birthday gift (usually a garden toy)

TeaForTiger · 26/10/2018 08:54

Just give the kid her presents, it's fine! You've already said she won't get any from anyone else and a good chunk of them are second hand.

No need for all this angst.

Cutesbabasmummy · 26/10/2018 09:10

Not too much split between the two. It's about what my 3 year old has last year. His birthday is 25th Jan so quite close to Christmas. If you spread them throughout the year your son will be expecting presents too. Toy rotation works well in our house so that everything gets played with.

strawberrypenguin · 26/10/2018 09:33

Split between birthday and Christmas I think that's ok.

OnlyGlowingSlightly · 26/10/2018 10:01

Great idea to have a voucher system/putting the wrapped presents away for later if she doesn't open them all.

Who are these children described here who get bored opening presents
This is when they are very young - and I'm sure it does vary between children.

We went overboard when DD was 2 (about 8 presents) and she got overwhelmed and didn't enjoy it. So for the next couple of years I was really careful to keep it down to 3-4 things she would love on the day, and gave her little gifts throughout the year, which worked much better.

But then she had a whole class party for her 5th birthday, and joyfully ripped through 30 presents in one evening!!! So she did outgrow the problem

OnlyGlowingSlightly · 26/10/2018 10:11

OP - you know your DD best, and know what she'll be able to handle.

Good idea to put the Baby Annabel inside the pram. Seems crazy to be trying to reduce the impact of gifts, but it's exactly the kind of thing I used to do too

Craft things are a good one to pull out and give another day. They're not going to play with it there and then, and it seems more of an activity (since you do it together) than a gift when you do give it.

Believeitornot · 26/10/2018 10:15

That’s a huge amount! And I’m the person who would spend about £500 per child and get told off by dh for being too extravagant.

So, I reigned myself back - partly because it was too much stuff and partly because I realised it was my childhood that made me over compensate with gifts.

At that age I’d just give a couple of big things and a few smaller things for both Christmas and birthday (my dd is a December baby so understand the struggle!)

anitagreen · 26/10/2018 10:17

I don't think that's too much at all. My dd has so far
Lol doll house
Lol pearl surprise
Boy baby born doll
Kinetic sand
Shoes dress up
Fuzzy felt
Lol bigger bigger surprise and quite a few other bits however just this pile alone is topping £400

My son has
Dinosaur fingerling
Hot wheels gator crash garage
Hot wheels change colour light up car
Hot wheels crocodile car
" " another colour one
And I can't remember what else but I will add to it. X

Iaimtomisbehave1 · 26/10/2018 10:20

A friend of mine has a birthday on boxing day and her family decided that she would still get the birthday cards and cake on that day, but that she could get the presents in June so she can spread it out a bit and not wait 12 months every time. She's 30 now so it's not really a big deal anymore, but it made her much happier as a child.

BiddyPop · 26/10/2018 10:21

Do you have a few other things other than the camera for your DS?

I know you said he's not very much into toys and play, but does he like things like sensory putty, or (spinning things that everyone loves that were originally developed for ADHD kids? name escapes me) or fidget pencils?

Or a lava lamp or other low level lamp as a sensory thing? There are lots of options in places like Argos or regular stores, not just the "sensory, developmental" stores.

Or a really soft blanket to snuggle into? Primark sell lovely ones, and even Ikea ones are good for this. Or a good snuggly cushion to be able to hug?

Or actually some things from a sensory, developmental store that he would enjoy?

Sorry, I know that's actually spending more money, but I'm trying to think about your DS and how to rebalance, in his eyes, but something that may be useful for him also and that he might really love.

TchoupiEtDoudou · 26/10/2018 10:25

When DS was 2 he got 35 presents on Christmas day (total from all relatives). He just wanted to play with the first few and didn't want to open all of them. We kept a few for the next day and then for Easter.

And told GPs that they needed to tone down the present buying!!!! (fortunately they were all there and saw how overwhelmed he was).

OP I don't match monetary spending on my DC, just the number of presents they receive. Would this help with your DS? Or, you could hold back a present until Easter and give your DS a book at the same time.

I'm struggling with this Christmas. DS1 doesn't want much and DS2 is so easy to buy lots and lots of presents for (that I know he will play with all the time)

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 26/10/2018 10:41

I'm the same, I buy probably the same amount for my kids. If you want to give her it, then do. If I feel I've gone slightly overboard with Christmas I will hold a few things back for their birthdays as all my kids birthdays are around nearish to Christmas.

Figgygal · 26/10/2018 10:43

My ds bday is on 22nd December it is a nuisance them being so close but you're over compensating for a 3yo that's far too much

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