88 year old Lady who needs nothing

[davisday]

Looking for suggestions please.

I have an elderly relative who I am very close to, she needs and wants nothing. Isn't a fan of clutter/ornaments/stuff. Hates flowers. Not perfume, smellies, coffee voucher or days out.

Please help, I don't mind getting a gift voucher if I can't find another idea but I would prefer not to as she has enough money to buy herself anything she wants so it would not be much of a treat.

Does.she have any hobbies that she enjoys, crafts or group activities?

My neighbour (95) seems to hate more stuff (she gets lots of framed photos. I think she likes the photos but the fact they’re framed means she feels she needs to display them when the house is already full) but loves new books, magazine subscriptions (eg RHS magazine), cashmere jumpers - even in midsummer she feels the cold - and spending time with people. I think the last one is the key one.

If she feels the cold, the Sherpa fleece blankets/throws from Edinburgh Woollen Mill are deliciously light and cosy. I've given these as presents to young and old, inc. an 80 year old and a 16 year old niece who became addicted to one at our house. Everybody loves them, and the 2 I first gave as presents, maybe 7 years ago now, are still going strong.

Going out and spending time together is something we do twice weekly, I definitely give her my time, well actually, she gives me her time.

I'm looking into all the cosy presents, will probably buy double and have one for myself, especially sherpa blankets

There's a lot of suggestions I have already given as gifts in the past, but now I have been reminded of them I could look to upgrade or get something similar

Thanks everyone

• Cashmere gloves or scarf or socks.
• A heated blanket if she gets cold.
• Earrings/bracelet/necklace if you know what kind of jewellery she likes
• A 2019 diary or a pretty (and/or personalised) notebook
• A pretty cup/mug (if she doesn't already have too many)

A nice hamper that she can work through in her own time.

My mum is 83 and has always been difficult to buy for. I am in the same boat, no perfume, no hobbies, strict diet, have down the slippers, nightgowns to death.

Successes of recent years have been a good quality pillow with good good quality pillow case. Its something elderly people rarely place even ifthey have disturbed sleep. Another thing was I found a few second hand historical books on the village she lives - just Amazon. She was quite happy with that one.

Davisday how lovely that you and she share such a close bond. I used to love spending time with my aunt.

I think at that age people have probably accumulated all the dustcatchers photos and knick-knacks they're ever going to want and lots probably can't move for the amount of scarves/slippers/socks/"old style" edibles and toiletries they get at Christmas!

What about useful items like a nice bale of towels, a new duvet set or a warm quilt for her bed? I realise those wouldn't be lots of people's idea of a lovely gift but

a) for the "mend and make do" generation these things would often be received as wedding gifts, only rarely being replaced and
b) in her 80s it may not be that easy for her to physically get around a department store to replace them, especially as they're bulky to carry.

I know at that age my gran was genuinely delighted to receive such gifts to replace what had over time become pretty worn. Like many women of that generation she was house proud and appreciated things that made the place look nicer so for her naice hand towels in the bathroom made her very happy indeed.

Another gift she was over the moon with was a good quality electric blanket. The heat really helped with sore joints and she found she slept so much better. Again it's not something you or I might get excited about but for her it was pretty much the best Christmas present she'd had in two decades .

Just another thought, does she have a CD player. I bought some of the old radio shows from back in the 50s and 60s on CD. EBay have loads of CDs like Hancock's half-hour and Round the Horn etc. Very cheap. A selection of those maybe fun.

Christmas pantomime or seasonal Christmas show. Local theatre so not too far. Trip to a really good garden centre and afternoon tea there. Jigsaw puzzle and puzzle books.

My mom is 89. A few years ago I got her a subscription to the people’s friend. She loves it 🙂

Could you find out what music she was into as a young woman and burn a CD/load an MP3 player? Or same with films? I've found that to be a really easy win with relatives who don't use the internet - stuff they think is lost forever you can find in five mint

Ah KC great minds etc

My mum likes Cath Kidston tea towels. They’re quite pricey for tea towels and she says they’re too nice to use but she likes to hang them off her cooker to look pretty in her kitchen. Also liked a key ring and purse from there. I might branch out into Cath Kidston towels this year if they’ve got any nice ones - or an umbrella.

What about a charity 'goat' type gift. I know they are frequently sneered at on Mumsnet but in my experience older people are often more generous with their charity giving & quite like the idea of an alternative gift. My parents are in their late 80s, fortunately very comfortable off but like charity gifts. I know they already give very generously to charity but I usually give them something like a Crisis meal for Christmas or something particularly relevant to their interests.

I’ve just purchased this window bird feeder for my grandad as he’s 93 and enjoys sitting watching the birds in the garden so hoping this will encourage them to come closer to the windows.

Meripac Window Feeder www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0012UO76A?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf&tag=mumsnetforum-21

We’ve done tech gifts. Phone that holds its charge better. DDad didn’t know better was available. Good lights for reading. Maybe just new bulbs if she likes the lights she has. Things like that?

I'm buying my 90 years old gradma a set of luxurious fluffy towels. In previous years i've given:

• fancy blanket
• really good gluten free and diet treats (she loved this)
• some gifts related to her religion
• vintage cloth napkins
• new curtains

I have this as well with my Mum, last year I bought her a really nice feather duvet from Debenhams and a cover for it. She really likes it.

Does she read? if so what about some new books or audio books?

I would just go with a lovely bunch of flowers

What about a years supply of Tena lady or the supermarket equivalent?

She is an absolute nightmare to buy for tbh.

She reads but she uses the library, I’m loathe to remove that from her as she enjoys it so much, it gets her out and about and keeps her active. She doesn’t like flowers, waste of money, we go out often so outings aren’t a gift really. She is strict to diet and literally has everything she wants. Tech is out as she isn’t confident in learning. We have been down that road with an iPad and it just didn’t work. Music, I have all her classical stuff on a usb which I plugged into her car (yes, her car) so that’s done! She would hate me to waste my money on a charity gift, she really is a saver and anything that reduces my bank account really bothers her.

I think the cosy gifts are to favourite just now, although someone mentioned a cashmere jumper, she has several, she is very proud of the fa t one is 40 years old! I think that is what makes her so hard to buy for, she genuinely is a make do and mend. She buys things with a keep forever POV rather than the disposable attitude we have nowadays.

Tena lady. Perhaps if I wanted to highly offend her. WTF

If she doesn't need/want anything don't buy her anything! Take her out somewhere - theatre, panto, national trust place etc