Christmas Present for Parent in Care Home

[CarrotVan]

My Dad is 88 and has been in a care home since the Spring. He has moderate dementia and the usual health issues of a man of his age.

As he's in a care home he has limited space for stuff and already has LOADS of clothes, PJs, slippers etc. He doesn't listen to music and already has a digital radio and TV. He can't learn any new tech. He doesn't read fiction. He has several photos and pictures on the walls already and a clock.

I have no idea what to get him at all

@CarrotVan

just noticed your father is very religious roman catholic - how about applying for a papal blessing on his behalf? However, it takes about 8 weeks to process

Its also known in Latin as Benediction Papalis (Im guessing he may have studied latin when at school - due to age, faith and career)

As he is getting more entangled within as you describe moderate dementia, at this point a blessing from the pope may bring him some joy and hold pride of place on the wall.

How to go about it?

Obtaining a Papal Blessing, or Benediction Papalis, can be a thoughtful and meaningful way to commemorate a special life occasion. It is a blessing from the Holy Father to honor important events in the life of a follower of the Catholic Church.

While the Pope’s blessing itself is impossible to see, the Benediction Papalis can be immortalized on a special document issued by the Chancery. The one of a kind parchments are hand painted and inscribed with the names of the blessed.

Any baptized Catholic can receive a blessing, but they are not bestowed upon non-Catholics, the very young (before they have been baptized) or the dead.

For this reason, blessings cannot be given to commemorate births or deaths.

They will, however, be issued for such events as birthdays, Baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, conversions and Catholic weddings. It is not possible to obtain a blessing for an event that has already taken place, but you may request blessings for anniversaries of dates like weddings and confessions of faith.

Another key issue to remember is that only baptized Catholics can request the blessing, either for themselves or friends and family members.

The blessing is free, but the Church does request a donation for the certificate, which will be donated to a charity for the poor.

It can take several weeks or even months to receive the Benediction Papalis, so we have compiled a list of all the necessary steps to make the process as easy as possible.

How to Get a Papal Blessing:

Obtain a letter from your parish priest on church letterhead certifying that the persons concerned are Catholic and in good standing with the Church.

Contact your diocese’s Chancery Office or parish secretary to begin the process of selecting the style of parchment and discussing to whom the blessing should be addressed and for what occasion.

The diocese will request a check for the blessing. The donation cost varies based on the quality and design of the parchment selected.

They range from approximately 25 to 40 Euro.

You will need several pieces of information depending on the occasion:

For Weddings: Provide the full name of the bride (maiden name), the full name of the groom, the date of the wedding, the name of the Catholic church, as well as the city and place where the ceremony will be held.
For First Communions and Confirmations: the full name of the recipient of the sacrament, the name of the church, city and state, and date of the reception.
For Anniversaries: the full names of all parties involved, as well as the date to be commemorated.

While it is possible to obtain a blessing from anywhere in the world by going through the proper channels in your home parish, the process is greatly speeded up if you are able to personally request the blessing in Rome.

How to Get a Papal Blessing in Rome:

Visit the Papal Blessing Office inside the Vatican City walls on the Via del Pellegrino, remembering to bring the same information required above regarding the event and the recipients.
Rather than 8 weeks, in-person requests usually take one to two weeks to process and can be picked up in person or mailed anywhere in the world.

You can also contact the Office of Papal Charities directly.
Postal Address: Elemosineria Apostolica
Parchment Office
00120 Vatican City

Telephone: (+39) 06.69873279 - (+39) 06.69871100 (office hours: 8:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. [UTC+1 : CET - Central European Time]

Be wary of websites offering Papal Blessing online as most are scams. It is always best to pursue the blessing through official channels.

So I'm going to guess you are in England for example so the English Vatican college for seminarians - www.vecrome.org/#

There will be equivalent for Ireland, Scotland and Wales

I dont want to hijack OPs thread altogether

But has anyone got someone in a nursing home who they would like ideas on what to get them for Xmas., drop me a note on here or on email and Il add ideas back..

Give me a few ideas about the person, what they like, what they dont, what they have plenty of, what they need but you dont know whwre to get it, I love searching around online and coming back with ideas. Then hopefully this is something could be a reference of ideas for those who come along behind us.

I will be on and off here today as I need to sleep a bit

We tried to get a Papal blessing for his 60th wedding anniversary but they never responded! His Papal Knighthood is proudly displayed on his wall at the moment

I might see if I can get him some nice rosary beads.

Would he fancy a jigsaw?

Or a little herb garden for his windowsill?

A sketch book, or colouring book?

Some lovely gift ideas here. 

I like the RAF ideas. I was thinking about framing a photo of him in uniform and one of the type of aircraft he was most used to (he was a medic and did a lot of costal and mountain search and rescue) and if I can find it then a plan of the base he was stationed at

@CarrotVan that sounds lovely. Sorry to hear he didn't get the blessing for 60th wedding anniversary, it can be a bit of co-ordinating to do it.

Glad to hear he has his papal knighthood on the wall, his faith obviously means a lot to him, definitely some nice rosary beads

How about something like this, could be a4 or a3 size? They could add in the photos of him in uniform, the aircraft and the map of where the base is - so him in middle and aircraft and map either side.

Could take out all the other details and add to the bottom, from CarrotVan and whoever, so if he ever has trouble remembering who you are there is a reference to who to refer to on the wall for new carers especially as a conversation starter, they could ask is that you in uniform, is Carrotvan your daughter/son? You could be male or female for all I know.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Personalised-Couples-Memories-Dates-Framed-Print-Great-Wedding-Gift-Idea/183274086769?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&var=690565277500&_trksid=p2057872.m2749.l2649

I got one this year for my niece of her and husbands love story, its lovely

That’s lovely

Thanks for the thread, and Smurfy what a wonderful list!

My MIL has been in a care home with dementia for a few years. We've struggled for a while for ideas. Teddies always went down well but she's got quite a few by now. Otherwise we've just gone for chocolates - which sometimes we can persuade her to share out with other residents. I think the picture blanket would work for her, she's a bit more frail and feels the cold more nowadays.

My sister is a district nurse and visits a lot of elderly people with her job . Bird feeders which you attach to a window ( Perspex) so they can watch the birds are very therapeutic for older people, especially those with limited mobility. She has suggested these now to lotsof relatives over the years and they’ve been very successful.

Does the home do his washing, if so able label do an indelible ink stamp which you can have his name on and it can be used to mark all his clothes. Otherwise can you treat him to afternoon tea out somewhere.

Like this

If he likes technical / non-fiction stuff then you might want to see if their is a Haynes manual for the plane / vehicle he remembers in the RAF. I'm reliably informed that they are wonderful.

Please don't buy booze for someone on a dementia unit - from a safety point of view its a nightmare because of the risk of another resident picking it up and drinking it.

Food gifts are always great - especially if it evokes a memory (fudge for that holiday to Cornwall, that sort of thing). One of my residents family arranged for him to get a favourite curry delivered once a month, he loved it.

The perspex bird feeders are great provided hes on the ground floor - most care home windows have jack locks so no chance of refilling/siting it any higher up.

Digital photo frames are great - you can set some so that they periodically show the day, date and time which work really well.

Does he have a life story book? These are great for staff to use for reminiscence, a photobook with things he did and when etc will do the same job.

Also to the PP suggesting that anything you get will be nicked - get in the bin.

In similar circumstances for MIL my fantastic florist did a tiny tasteful real Christmas tree for her room. It didn’t take up much space and could be thrown away in the new year. As a strict Roman Catholic she had always disapproved of decorations in advent so we took it on Xmas eve and got rid of it at epiphany. We also used to send her a tranche of cards from us and the three DC of the Madonna with child variety as she had never been keen on secular cards. This at least meant she had a few up that she approved of. We’d book the hairdresser and the lady who did manicures for her, although it was hard to know if she still cared.

@smurfy2015 what an amazing and thoughtful list and post, you must have spent ages doing that, really really kind.

I'm going to print it out. Thank you x