Am I being mean not going over at Christmas?

[Preggoailments]

For Christmas this year my in laws are hiring an air bnb as one of the relatives is getting divorced so wants everyone to get together... all fine.

However, last year we said to my parents we would stop alternating Christmas and New Years and just do our own thing and they had the mightiest of strops. My relationship with my mum isn’t great anyway.
I don’t enjoy her company and find her quite difficult. (My siblings have special needs and I don’t so a lot of crap falls onto me).

I suggested spending New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day with them but I don’t want to go over to their house. Am I being horrible in saying that to them?

I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant, there isn’t enough seats, no one will give up a seat for me and I doubt they’ll be enough room for me at the table! They have three feral dogs, one of which isn’t completely house trained and at 34 weeks pregnant, I don’t want 3 little dogs jumping all over me. I don’t like the food and they don’t want to do anything, they just sit around on their tablets not talking to us. My mum also bitches about my dad and siblings behind their backs when everyone is over as it’s “too much for her”.

My house is tiny so I cannot host so I have suggested a meal at a restaurant on NYD with everyone paying for themselves but she didn’t like the idea. Alternatively we could spend either the evening of NYD or New Year’s Eve at mine and
I’ll put on a buffet.

Sorry that was long! So am I being horrible in saying that I don’t want to
go over their house... I know she’ll kick off though

No don't go if you don't want to. We have Christmas at home and then visit others on boxing day

Enjoy your Christmas in your own house. You will be 34 weeks pregnant, time to cosset yourself.

Think you might be on the wrong thread!

I’m pregnant 1morerep.... not fat

Let her kick off, and enjoy ignoring her. This is your time to do Christmas the way you want it done for you and DH, and your soon to be LO.

Thanks all!

My whole life she’s just made me feel bad or guilty for standing up to her. Now I’m in my twenties I have this voice in my head saying I’m being horrible. She’s gonna sulk but I guess she’ll have to get over it

OP she or sounds as if she will moan if you are there so she will moan if you are not. At 34 weeks, you need naps and a guaranteed seat. Last year you sowed the seed, just carry on watering. You are tired, feeling nauseous and you want to be at home. Job done.

I wouldn't go. You are allowed to spend Christmas as you wish. Life's too short trying pleasing other people all the time

Thanks again all.

I spoke to them again tonight via text. They really couldn’t comprehend why I didn’t want to go over and keep saying they will shut the dogs away, my dad would cook the food etc.

In the end they caved and said they would come over to ours I can’t see this being the end of it though. I imagine they will throw a strop much closer to the time.

You know what hun, I'm in my 30s and my mum still makes me feel bad/ guilty about some things, and I find it hard to say no too!
You know if u go over there you won't be comfortable or have fun so I wouldn't put yourself through it, plus being so close to due date you ought to relax. Stick to your guns in regards to what u said last year and have a fab Xmas :)

You caved in via text. Next time put the phone under a cushion. Switch it off. Claim you have run out of battery

You have made a compromise, will your DH help you? Make sure you have a chair. Give them a list of things you need them to contribute. Buy in prepped stuff, so it saveson peeling for hours. Don't let them make your last child free Christmas feel like that weary kitchen maid in Downtown.