Christmas alone

[sapphiresandemeralds]

I’ve done it before but in every case I’ve got through it by working and it’s just been a totally normal day with shops closed.

I’d like it to feel like Christmas but am I kidding myself that this can be done?

Throwing an idea in for consideration...

If you want to do something different but that is about Christmas - the season of goodwill, caring, giving

what about volunteering? You'll be around a lot of people aka hustle and bustle. You'll get the joy of helping make others Christmas better...,giving to others is suppose to be one of the best gifts for yourself.

Or there's the campaigns about hosting dinners for other people on there own....I think they have requirements that you have a downstairs loo etc but

It's opening your world up, sharing, doing Christmas and doing something different.

OR

go on a Christmas fun packed trip abroad / retreat to give back to yourself

Whatever you do...,it's just about finding a new Christmas tradition for your self that fills you up and recharges you, soup for the soul etc

Oh just read that you don't want to see other people.

Look for trips over Christmas were they do hiking holidays....make it a thing that each year you find an epic ADVENTURE for you to have.

Hiking in Himalayas, around the inca pyramids etc etc....helping out at an orangutan sanctuary etc. But give yourself an epic ADVENTURE.

Then each year you have a full year to plan it, get excited about it, get the best deal monetary wise and tailor it to yourself.

Whatever your thing is, they'll be a Christmas trip version. Cooking classes in Italy or France, yoga meditation in Bali....do the research it's all out there.

Being alone Christmas sucks but it's more common than you think. People just dont talk about it.

If you want to make it a time different to others then do something that is different for you.

Assuming you finish work on the Friday 21st?
Perhaps suggest a few drinks in the pub for the office?

Saturday 22nd catch up on stuff around the house, I like to feel prepared to enjoy time off!

Sunday 23rd supermarket then movie afternoon?

Christmas Eve Coffee in town, a few yellow sticker treats from M&S around closing time. Home into new pj's and a glass of something before bed.

Christmas Day have a long lie! Open any gifts and enjoy a treat meal, sometime you wouldn't normally make for yourself. Wear pj's all day and drink champagne.

Boxing Day pop to the sales.

27th onwards suggest seeing friends...we use this time to catch up with friends.. single/couples/families.. we do brunch, lunch, cinema, walks, coffee etc.

Being alone Christmas sucks.

No. It doesn’t. Not everyone is the same!

I know you're trying to be more selfish, OP but does that include animals? I imagine dog and cat shelters struggle for people to walk/feed around Christmas and you know that the dogs and cats won't throw it back in your face :) makes me so sad to think of them in kennels on Christmas.

I wouldn't want to be cooking on Christmas day. Not properly. I'd either buy lots of food that just has to be warmed up, or find a takeaway that's open.

I'd plan to be out and about as much as possible in the 2 weeks so on Christmas Day when everyone is busy and shops are closed it isn't another in a long line of days I'm alone.

Then on the day itself I'd make sure I was more than fully stocked with my favourite food and drink and enough of my favourite films to keep me happy.

Ask your friends out for drinks etc before and after, they may say no because they're so busy, but they might say yes and that would help break things up.

Lastly, I'd join Meetup and see what events are on over the two weeks you're off. You don't have to want to meet new friends, but going out and meeting people and hopefully having a good time throughout the two weeks would again help to break it up.

No glossy I am looking for some ideas. And have some to be going off.

I don’t not want to see other people but I don’t want to actually spend Christmas Day with other families - it’s a bit pushy.

I am delighted with some ideas but I am presumably allowed to say ‘thanks but that’s not for me at this time’ I take it?

Just remembered I still have the two week silent retreat in reserve ...

But they make you abandon your phone ...

I think you are so lucky to have this time to yourself. I would relish the chance for some peace, clear headspace and utter guilt free time to treat yourself a bit. I dread Christmas and the hideous build up. I dread the mess, noise, chaos, expense, obligation to be wonder mum and the lack of routine. It could be a beautiful restorative and nourishing time for you.

There are usually pretty cheap yoga retreats to Bali/Nepal etc.

I live in Korea which is really cheap to visit once you’ve paid the plane.

No way would I abandon my phone!

missmouse I don’t know about your circumstances but have a little think - a bit like Kevin in home alone - is that actually what you want, for your loved ones to disappear?

I’m sure people have good intentions, but telling the OP how lucky she is without knowing why she is on her own this Christmas or anything about her circumstances is pretty thoughtless.

missmouse come on - I don’t think the op needs to hear about how hard a busy family Christmas can be.

If i were u i would buy myself gifts that i want, id get lots of nice chocolates,cheese board that i want ,id still make xmas lunch,id stay in my pjs and watch xmas movies all day.play xmas music as i was making the xmas dinner.i think u can still make it like xmas.
Sorry to hear your spending it alone i hope u can still make it feel like xmas x

Could you do some sort of redecorating at the house? You would be able to plan everything before Christmas, do the preparation work and then enjoy after Christmas sales. It could be something small like sorting all photos nicely and doing them into frames, etc or something bigger doing kitchen in different style.
I personally would do sightseeing, shopping and sleeping but my DS always used her time alone for redecorating her house.

Hi Sapphire,

Simplyput has some nice ideas.

If you'd like to do a mini Christmas dinner for a meat option Sainsbury's stuffed chicken is nice or you could do a filo pastry vegetarian main. I don't see why you can't celebrate some of christmas in a traditional way. I would probably do some baking if I was alone at Christmas- for me, or for neighbours etc.

I think Christmas TV would feature if I had time alone - I know it's not very original but it would make me feel less alone.

There will probably be some good films on at the cinema closer to Christmas too so I would go to see one.

I might try to whatsapp any close friends or extended relatives on boxing day but obviously that depends on how busy they are over christmas. Alternatively I might go for a christmas mini break in a city- sure it's not the same as a large family christmas but it would be interesting and fun all the same.

All of these things depend on your own interests, wants and likes though.

Also just to say that Carol services really don't require you to be religious to attend BUT if you hate all things church then I can see why you wouldn't want to go to one just because you're spending christmas alone this year.

I've had plenty of time alone in my life so in your shoes I would feel a bit fed up but I think that there are still plenty of things to do to make Christmas fun.

I've had a couple alone Op but two weeks is a long time.

The first one I actually almost hid as I didn't want my lovely neighbours pitying me
Friends same at least for the actual couple of days.

I adore walking and had dipped in and out of a local walking group that year. Next Christmas on my Todd I actually arranged walks with a couple of folk in similar situations. Did this New Year too.

Still have a tradition of getting together at some point although circumstances have changed.

I'd say get your favourite books, mags, films, food, feel good creams and potions and do as much as you fancy.

I get what you are saying OP.

I wouldn't particularly want to go away on my own either but.....if you usually go away on your own, I think around Xmas is as good a time as any as two weeks is a good stretch of time?

If I was staying at home on your own, I would do as somebody else suggested and start and complete a project for one week - painting, clearing out, wardrobe tidy, paperwork filing, tax returns. Something that makes you feel you have accomplished something and have something to show for the time sort of thing.

I would go shopping in the sales if you enjoy shopping? Preferably in a city one day and in a large shopping centre another day? Have lunch and coffees whilst out and about.

Do you go to the cinema? Have a look at any films you might be interested in seeing? Have a meal in a nice restaurant before it starts.

I'd book the hairdresser in the week after New Year too. They often have special offers and are quiet and you wouldn't be rushed around.

For the second week, I would make plans to catch up with friend or two. I would organise that now though so you can select an evening that suits you both. Having it organised means you have something to look forward to. Or could you invite a friend over for a meal in the week after Christmas and go for a glass of wine in the nearest town afterwards?

I don't have many friends around that I could do the above with but if I had some, I'd really enjoy going to a pub and listening to Christmas songs. I'd also just ask people if they are around to meet up. I only recently found out that a friend I meet regularly spends the Christmas holidays on her own as her teenage son is busy doing his own thing. I rarely have anyone to meet up with and as a result rarely go out. This year, I am definitely going to ask her if she would like to meet the week after Christmas.

OP, any hints about which ideas, out of the ones suggested, sound like they might be helpful?

If I am in a good mood, here are things I might enjoy doing by myself: walking and picking up litter on the side of the road (a hobby of mine), making something like bunting out of old fabric scraps, gathering greenery and decorating the house with wreaths and lavish fresh evergreens (I live in the country), borrowing a dog for a long walk, writing a letter to an old friend, reading for hours in front of a fire, going to a carol service (I am an atheist), painting a room in my house or doing some other big house project while listening to interesting podcasts or a book on tape.

Here's what I would do if I am feeling down: lie in bed for too long, eat too many snacks, stare at my computer all day. These things make me feel worse, but I still do them when I am feeling down in the dumps.

The main thing I want to say though, is that single Christmas visitors are incredibly valued at Christmas in our house, both when I was a child, and now that I have children of my own. We always want to have a few extra people, for purely selfish reasons. Visitors make Christmas feel special and party-like; visitors bring interesting and unexpected presents, foods, traditions, and conversation. The presents might be something small- an interesting old photograph, a taste of some new foreign treat, a homemade card, etc. The conversation is just dependent on it being not what we are used to, day in and day out.

In recent years we have had all sorts of casual Christmas visitors, such as one of our kids' piano teacher, the disabled brother of an old friend who doesn't usually leave his house, a child's foreign friend from college, (stuck in the UK with visa problems), a mum and child with no family left, etc. All of them were extremely helpful to us in making Christmas fun and interesting.

Have a look at meetup.com. I had written it off as a dating site, it is not a dating site.

I now use it to find walks (as week as ramblers.org.uk) and notice that there are loads of special interest groups. Join a few groups which sound vaguely interesting, you will soon be shown similar groups, some of which may be wildly outside your range of interests, others may open up new possibilities.

If the idea appeals, you could put in your own suggestion, say for a walk on Christmas day and see whether there are any takers. While I understand that Christmas is a family celebration, there will be lots of people who may be far from home and glad of some temporary family to celebrate with. One of my best Christmases ever was in a student hall, where i started rather dreading Christmas not having much money and knowing that many people were going home or away. Someone put up a notice, saying if you are staying, get in touch. We had a lovely meal, entirely from different things people brought.

If you had a week off , but not over Christmas OP- what would be the sort of things you might consider doing? It might be useful to think of it as just time off, and take the Christmas out of it, if that's possible.
Loads of good ideas here for a day alone, but 2 weeks is a bit harder.
Could you do a project at home? redecorating/ making something.

I understand not wanting to go on holiday alone. It might be great... it might be not. And busting in on other's Christmases? I have done that and it was cringeworthy . The horrid hot feeling of having to have a grin plastered on your face whilst not getting all the in jokes and being told, "Oh, you stay in the sitting room, you're the guest," whilst you can hear much banter and raucous laughter from the kitchen.

Anyway, I second the Meetup idea. Particularly walks. On a walk you can talk to people. Or not. You're just ambling along. On my walks meetup I go on someone posted last year, "Might be embarrassing myself here, but just putting it out there - I'll be in X pub on Christmas Day at 12 noon. Anyone can join me if they like." And about 8 people replied in ten seconds!

Another idea - dog boarding. You can sign up with an agency (there are masses) and if suitable you can look after someone's dog for one day, a few days or the whole two weeks. And you get paid! So you have some company of a (hopefully well trained) dog, can go for walks, have a swift half in a pub, and then can hand it back when the owners return.

Id try to separate Christmas day from the others in my mind. For the day itself I would cook a lovely breakfast, and then long bath with a kindle. Later a picky tea and tv.

For the rest of the time I'd try to arrange some outings. Other people, with or without families, don't necessarily lock themselves up for two weeks. Id personally be delighted to join a friend for a walk/coffee/film. I wouldn't assume they meant that they wanted to see my immediate family but they would also be very welcome at ours for dinner/drinks/brew. So I think just slightly nearer the time I would ask friends if they'd like to do something that fortnight and I'd get it booked.

I think I'd also think about a day trip somewhere by train (so once all the seasonal closures are done) perhaps a museum you've always fancied or an attraction like the tower of London.
If you fancy having a project on the go, like decorating around all that then fab.

I don't like new year so I'd stay in and ignore that ;)

Hope you get something settled to look forward to

Christmas isn't just for families!

I've spent many Christmas' with friends, or with friends and their families.

This year Dh, ds and I sil being having a friend and her two kids come and stay with us over Christmas as she'll be on her own (husband at sea). She doesn't feel awkward and we wouldn't have asked if we didn't want her here. (Not as altruistic as it sounds, mean I avoid the in laws .)

Do you have any eldely neighbour's who might be alone? Do you know anyone else who is going to be alone? You could invite them over for Christmas lunch?

I'd definitely have a look at the local meet up groups.

Most people don't want to spend the whole two weeks with just their families. Once the Christmas Eve/Christmas/Boxing day period is over can you arrange some Christmassy get-togethers with friends?

I am also alone for two weeks as my work shuts down.

I am going to the Lake District and staying in an Air Bnb. It's only an hour's drive from home so not far but it's better than staying at home and staring at the walls.