Where to spend Xmas - 36 weeks pregnant

[SuperVeggie]

Me and DH usually spend around 3 days with each set of parents, swapping over on Boxing Day morning. Each set of parents live about 2 hours from our house in opposite directions, so nearly 4 hours of driving on Boxing Day morning. This hasn't bothered us for the past few years and we take it in turns as to where we spend Xmas/Boxing Day each year if that makes sense.

However this year I will be 35-36 weeks pregnant with DC1. At first I thought we would still do the normal arrangement - my DH will do the driving and when we are there I will get waited on hand and foot so no probs.

Now I'm starting to wonder if this is a good idea? I have had some complications and will be having a planned section at 38 weeks. I'm worried about being far away from my hospital if anything happens.

However I'm not sure of the alternative... DH and I will both be off work anyway (teachers) so I don't want to spend the best part of 2 weeks just sitting around. We also want to see our families at some point but can't work out how without having them to ours and then having to cater for everyone. We live in a small house with small kitchen, my DM and DF are lovely but chaotic and make the house a mess whenever they visit and my MIL and FIL are lovely but have high standards and I fear I will end up spending Xmas cleaning and cooking. Neither of our families can afford to eat out multiple times over the Xmas period.

Any ideas? anyone been this pregnant at Xmas and remember what worked well?

I was 40 weeks on Christmas Day. Our DP's and DPILs live 20 minutes away from each other - but 2.5 hours from us.

So we spent it at home, did our own thing for mass etc, but the only time we've ever stayed at home that we went to my DGPs house for dinner. So I do remember standing making gravy in the kitchen and all my DAunts and DUncles trying to get me to sit down by the fire, and DGM standing up for me saying let me get on with it if I wanted to.

DD arrived at 6am following morning, as it happened (I knew she was en route as we moved away from dining table for opening presents at about 9pm, but had to wait another 2 hours before I could plead exhaustion to head "home to bed" and ignore my 5 month old DCousin having a great time rolling on the sitting room floor wide awake!).

So that meant that DPs, DPILs and all our DSiblings all ended up coming up on 27th anyway, but visiting us in hospital so we didn't have to host.

Could you have some dinners prepped ahead of time and frozen - a large lasagna, a mild curry, a chicken and mushrooms in wine sauce, a shepherds pie, a boeuf bourgignonne (sp?) etc - so you only need to heat up and maybe cook some rice/pasta to accompany it?

And ask them both to bring something for the Christmas dinner? Maybe a starter or dessert?

And forget the standards - you are heavily PG and once the place is clean enough for you, that's what matters. Just tell DPs to pick up after themselves, and allow DMIL to get her marigolds on if she thinks it needs an extra swipe.

What about your DH? Is there any reason that he can't step up and host?

Thanks both. My DH would certainly step up in terms of the cleaning and preparing the house, but he really can't cook (I wouldn't want to eat whatever he made!). I think I would also find the idea of hosting quite stressful whereas he isn't that bothered, so even if he did everything I would still find it quite overwhelming if that makes sense. Also he is really quite anti-Christmas and would happily do nothing at all to celebrate and so the tree etc always ends up being left to me which is kind of fair enough as he doesn't even want one. Once our DD is here though I will force him to participate for her sake!

I forgot to mention that if my DM and DF came then they would have to stay over (they are in their seventies and wouldn't be up to driving four hours in one day in the winter) which would mean they would also have to bring their dog... I'm wondering if it's easier just to go to them (and DPILs) and then drive back immediately at the slightest hint of any problems?

As you are teachers could you not split the visits and have a day or two rest at home?

So, go 22nd or whenever to set of parents 1, stay until Boxing Day and drive back.

Then on the 27/28 go to set of parent 2 for a late celebration. I would assume most people are understanding enough to know that heavily pregnant woman do not want to spend hours in the car.

You could order a Christmas lunch set from Cook and keep everything in the freezer for the emergency that you are unable to go at all.

DS1 was due on Christmas Eve, so we spent that Christmas at home on our own. We made trips to see both of our families earlier in December, then spent some time just preparing for baby, and enjoying our last few days as a couple.

Whatever you decide to do, just take your bag and notes with you. You can present at my hospital if you go into labour/ have concerns, and if you have your notes, they will know your history.

@reluctantbrit that is a very good idea. In particular I am nervous about being away from my hospital over the holiday dates that will have the lowest staffing i.e. 24th-26th, partly because both sets of parents live fairly rurally and I have had experiences of trying to access out of hours services at both places and it has not been good.

So maybe we will go my parents from 21-23rd or something and then visit PILs from 28-30th. I would have to sort something for Christmas dinner for me and DH (I'm not going without a proper Xmas lunch!). But for 2 of us we could just buy semi ready-made stuff from M&S or wherever without breaking the bank. I'm not slaving for hours in the kitchen but as long as we have something tasty it will be fine.

Oooooh this is actually quite exciting, DH and I have never spent Christmas on our own, we have always been with family! Any tips on what to do (no booze?!)... oh and when can I book Ocado delivery?!

I think you're above suggestion is good, provided your families realise you might change your mind last minute. You and baby are first priority.

Semi ready made all the way here. M&S stuff are up online.

I was 38 weeks with dd2 at Xmas. We stayed in because I was much too massive and grumpy to be putting anyone else first.

You might be lucky and still be perfectly comfortable at 36 weeks but at that stage, anything other than my own sofa and million specific pillows was decidedly uncomfortable and left me sore and nauseous.

I’d have been fine travelling those distances at 36 weeks in my 2 previous pregnancies, but I mine were uncomplicated. In your situation I’d probably stay put.
I will be 39+5 this Christmas Day. We’ll host my mum (DH will cook). Planning to go to my dads on Boxing Day, all being well.