DS rumbled Father Christmas

[KilburnOriginal]

DS is 9, last Christmas he seemed hell bent on catching us out on the F.C. myth, but he still believed.
Conversation about Christmas tonight and he threw so many doubts that I was convinced he'd worked it out, then he asked directly and I couldn't lie. He was a bit upset but recovered pretty quickly. I think I may be more gutted!
So many of our traditions are based on Father Christmas, letter writing, stop here sign, reindeer food, mince pie and carrot on Xmas eve. Can you help with some new things to keep the magic going? I feel like I've sort of ruined it for him so I would like to introduce some new traditions we can keep going forward.
Thanks

Could he still write you a letter instead of Father Christmas? Instead of just a list, in his letter he could tell you what he's done well this year and his highlights

You could involve him in wrapping other family presents too, Christmas music on, mince pies, hot chocolate etc? Maybe even go and see some real reindeer if you have anywhere doing a Chrismas thing like that near you - most of the magic is still very much real!

I'd make sure he knows how special Father Christmas is to younger children who still haven't worked it out too though, he was very clever to have cracked it but he doesn't need to tell them yet...

Some traditions you can’t keep, but you and DS will happily look back on them. When it happened to DS I told him the real magic of Christmas was how we all think of each other at that time of year, and I still love Christmas as much as I did when I was a child, just in a different way.

As for traditions, we always used to get one small present on Christmas Eve at lunchtime on the table, which I do with DS. Putting up the tree on the same day every year. DS and I usually used to be traveling a couple of days before Christmas, at the airport he always had a bag of small things to open , wrapped up chocolate coins etc. Christmas Eve we always go out for lunch, when we lived in Rome the start of Christmas was always the Christmas market at the Swedish church where my friend ran a stall. We always had a group of school friends go on the open too bus to see the lights , singing songs with a flask of hot chocolate. Now we live in the south of France we always go ice skating in a Cannes and Monaco. On Christmas Eve we have a takeaway. Not all of these are Christmas things but it doesn’t have to be. Do some different things, because it is Christmas, look around for Christmas events and begin to do those each year.

It’s not the same as believing though, I know.

I’d keep going for now. There’s no reason to stop playing the Santa game until he’s ready to stop, which is a very different thing than not believing.
Encourage him to share some Christmas magic with others, by filling a younger sibling’s stocking or leaving a secret surprise gift for someone.
Bring him shopping to get a gift for charity, or make a toy/crafts hamper for the childrens hospital, or make a box up for a homeless person. Gently and gradually draw him in to the giving side of Christmas.

Well it was never going to last forever, was it? I think 9 is quite old to still believe. You wouldn't want him to be 36 and still writing a list for FC!

Thanks for the helpful replies, also had good advice from a friend whose daughter rumbled a couple of years ago👍
I was 9 when I realised and I had 3 elder brothers who managed not to burst my bubble, seems to be the common age for this to happen from everyone I've spoken to on and off, so no I don't think he was too old and so what if a 36 year old wants to write a letter to Santa! It's not harming anyone else, so for me they can crack on if that's what makes them happy.

DS 10asked me shit loads of questions last year, I think I’ve convinced him but I don’t think it will be much longer before he figures it out 😭

There’s no reason to stop all the Father Christmas traditions! My 2 are 16 and 13 and we still do putting the stockings at the end of their beds, leaving a carrot for Rudolph and shouting “he’s been!” early in the morning

I moved out of home at 18 for uni but back for Christmas, and then in with my DW at 24. I still had a stocking every year up to that point, my sister (3 years younger) and I would leave out milk and cookies for santa, my dad always carried our stockings in about 12am because we were staying up too late and santa 'didnt want to be seen', and we would both drag them into my parents room Christmas morning and open them in their bed together. My sister always rushed hers then moaned when I took too long. Even last year my mam brought a stocking on Christmas day that 'Santa' left for me and DW to share. Just because he doesn't believe, doesn't make the traditions less valuable, because now he knows you do it because you love him, not because he's on the nice list of some weird old man in a red suit!

YES 😍 Because DS finding out Father Christmas isn't real has made it more magical. This is what we did.

"Ok DS, you're sort of right, there is no FC. Well. There is and there isn't. Now you're old enough to understand, FC is everyone. We all become him at Christmas to bring magic to little children. And as you become older, or a parent, you become FC. So now, that responsibility is yours too. You're a FC. You help bring the magic."

Last year, he chose a present for the little boy next door. Wrapped it, and wrote a name tag from FC. On Christmas Day, he ran round and banged on their door...." Fred, Fred, I've found one of your presents in our garden, it must have fallen out of Father Christmas' sleigh last night! Come and see!"

Honestly, watching the happiness on his face as he saw the joy he'd created for little 'Fred', it makes me well up now just thinking about it.

He's doing a couple of similar things this year. It's a different kind of magic, and honestly, I love it more

We didn’t change any of our traditions, even when all three dses had rumbled Father Christmas - and I don’t think the fun has diminished at all - and they are 21, 23 and 25!

This reminds me of when DS2 discovered the truth about FC when he was about 9.
He said there was no point putting the bottle of Newcastle Brown and mince pie out if there was no father Christmas. He was quickly reminded that mince pies and Newkie Brown's are an important part of Christmas Eve!! It has become the joke ever since and he still puts it out on Christmas Eve even though he is 18 and says 'Good Night Father Christmas, enjoy your beer, hope you're not over drink - fly limit on your sleigh' and other daft nonsense!

That's one of our daft family traditions that have evolved over the years!

Mine are 11 and 14 and we put a Santa stop here sign up. I will admit I never actually told them the truth but they knew by end of primary. I stopped insisting on list writing the year one of them wrote dear mum Father Christmas 😁

We just gradually slid into different traditions, now we have a buffet in front of a movie on Xmas eve. Stopping putting the mince pie out etc was never mentioned, it just didn't happen one year. Don't make a big thing of it just go with the flow and find new things to do. I still say time to go to bed now or Father Christmas won't come - they just roll their eyes at me!

@Courtney555 I just love your DS! What a great idea, how old is he?

We told DD last year (various reason for doing so) but as my mum and ai still play the Father Christmas game I see no need to stop. We told DD that if she wants presents she needs to write a nice and polite letter and as always FC presents came in a different paper than ours. Also the stocking is still alive and the drink and chocolate (no mince pies here) plus water and food for Rudolph and gang.

The only thing we stopped was a grotto visit but even the year before DD felt a bit out of place, it doesn’t help that she looks 2-3 year older than she is.