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Christmas

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Original poster

No family for christmas and just out of hospital...ideas

42 replies

deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:06

Hi I wondered if anyone could help me make this christmas really special. We won't be having any family for christmas, and I can't travel as I will be in hospital having major surgery and will still be on crutches.

So it will be just my dh and my dc this year (14 and 11) and we have never not spent christmas with family, so can anyone suggest how I can make it special and memorable even with my rock bottom health with just the four of us?

I can't invite anyone to us as I am not up to any kind of cooking etc, we can't travel as I won't be able to walk very far or at all. I have lots of local friends but many spend christmas time with their families.

Please help me if you can! I am worried about it.

OP posts:
WerewolfNumber1 · 03/09/2018 16:11

Are any local restaurants or pubs going to be open? We’ve often had Christmas lunch out, it can be lots of fun and maybe easier? Make sure they’ll be accessible on crutches though.

AdaColeman · 03/09/2018 16:15

Get Christmas dinner from M&S, just stick everything in the oven.

Cut down on gifts and cards, plan well ahead, get your shopping done very early.

Don't bother about decorating the house, though maybe the teenagers might like to be in charge of that?

PirateWeasel · 03/09/2018 16:19

Why would having Christmas with just your partner and kids not be special? You don't need visitors to celebrate the day! In fact, it sounds like a dream to me! Keep it simple, get the kids to pitch in, put your feet up, play the good films and songs. Bliss.

donkeysandzebras · 03/09/2018 16:20

If you ask local friends, you may be surprised at how many would be delighted to do something over Christmas - perhaps not on the day itself but immediately before or after. We have a get together with one group of friends I met through pre-School on Christmas Eve morning and another group I met through School on 27th. Some people are there each year, some come & go depending on family plans but there is always a core group of us who, as well as liking each other, find it very convenient to have something in the diary so that we can limit family commitments.

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:22

PirateWeasel You have managed to make the one aspect I am dreading sound very appealing. I guess christmas for me is a house full, gravy over flowing, music and dancing. I have never had a quiet christmas ever, so have no experience of one (not even as a child) I am worried we will feel lonely and it will all be a little bit sad. I guess I could try and party on my crutches and make the best of it!

ada yes I am planning christmas now so it doens't beocme too stressful as I won't be able to get to the door for parcels or deliveries for the first three weeks even.

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Isadora2007 · 03/09/2018 16:22

i can't invite anyone to us as I am not up to any kind of cooking etc

I find that very sad- that the people you’d normally choose to spend Xmas with can’t be there as you’re not able to provide for them. Do you always do too much for everyone else? Maybe this year you could lol at the time spent with people who- if they care about you- may be only too happy to help you and cook etc for one year.

If not. Then a meal out or even a Chinese meal and enjoy the four of you together.

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:23

WerewolfNumber1 I may need to rest alot during the day, so I am not sure a restaurant or pub will work this time.

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Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 03/09/2018 16:24

Last Christmas was just me, DH and our four kids. We saw some family for about an hour in the morning and then it was just us. It was actually our best Christmas ever as we could just focus on each other, there was no stress, the kids put on clean one and were comfy all day, we could just eat whatever we wanted and watch whatever we wanted on telly, while the kids played with their toys.
We kept dinner simple and did some ready made stuff and it was just as delicious.

Isadora2007 · 03/09/2018 16:26

I am sure my kids would be happy to have a day chilling at home with their new stuff and watching tv. I find it’s us grown ups who complicate things and make them into a bigger deal to be honest.
It’s one day. You are priority after an operation. So take it easy and plan for a chilled out time.

nothanksbyenow · 03/09/2018 16:27

At least with the 4 of you, you can do things your way- no having to watch films or only play the games your relatives want to play, you can stay in pjs should you wish, no compromises!

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:28

donkeysandzebras I could always invite my friends over for christmas eve and see who is free. That is a good idea and then I won't need to cook and I do love the idea of seeing someone.

Isadora2007 You are very very perceptive. You have nailed it pretty much. I am always the one that does everything for everyone else. I had this surgery before (this is a revision) and literally no one came to see me. They all disappeared to the parties and the drinks and their families and I was really hurt that christmas. I don't expect anything from anyone. But yes as a rule unless I do it then nothing happens.

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Peridot1 · 03/09/2018 16:30

We have done a few with just me, DH and DS. Might be again this year. DS is now 17. We get up together and open presents and then DH does breakfast. After showers and getting dressed etc we start prepping the Xmas dinner and DS get a board game sorted and we play for a bit. I potter about getting the table sorted while DH is cooking. Maybe your dcs could plan and do the table and make it all Christmassy? We always play trivial pursuit after dinner for a while and then we pick a movie to watch.

I do prefer it when we have people here but it’s ok with just the three of us.

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:31

So for those of you that have had a small family christmas was it quite relaxing because you didn't need to get the house tidy and everyone dressed quickly? This is always a rush for us. I can't imagine just taking my time on christmas day!

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Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:33

If I could I would disappear somewhere snowy and on a mountain! That would be my perfect christmas!

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Katescurios · 03/09/2018 16:34

We do xmas like that every year by choice 😀

Xmas eve with my family, boxing day with his and xmas day is just us and DD

Nice new PJs that you put on in the morning and stay in all day.

Bacon sandwiches or the like for breakfast then open all the gifts.

Xmas dinner is as easy as possible so a turkey crown or ready stuffed chicken, wit h the ready made extra special sides, ready made but good gravy, yorkies and bacon wrapped sausages. All in foile trays so just need bunging in the oven and no washing up.

Something delicious with custard or boozy cream for pudding.

Afternoon watching xmas films, playing with new toys and snoozing.

Big plate of left overs (turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and gravy sandwich mmmmmmm) for tea, with copious fancy chocs/after dinner mints.

More.lounging.

If you feel up to it you can slip an afternoon walk into there somewhere, or not, just go with the flow.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 03/09/2018 16:38

We found ourselves in a similar position last year - for the first time in over 20 years we wouldn't need to pull out the dining table. So we talked about what we could do that we hadn't been able to do previously because there were always too many of us and emphasised that. The family were older but everyone in our house is a kid at Christmas time!

We bought pastries to cook for breakfast and Bucks Fizz then we played a white elephant game organised by my daughter instead of having Christmas stockings.

We sent my husband and son out with dogs and had a girly time preparing dinner (I had done all the veg the day before) and we really went to down on decorating the dining table.

After dinner husband and son cleaned up while we sat and had a drink then we all played board games for a few hours.

This year the family will be even smaller as my son will be with his wife and her family so we are already thinking about what we can do to make things special for those of us who are left.

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:43

I am thinking about hiring a hot tub, I can't use it, but the children and dh can. I can put the snow machine on and some christmas lights and music...I am thinking to go all out different from our usual routine!

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Strawberrytraveller · 03/09/2018 16:47

I think Christmas with your husband and children is with family.

I would invite people over Christmas eve if you enjoy lots of people around. Just invite for a casual Mulled wine and mine pie type thing, and put a fixed time say 4-6pm so it isnt too tiring for you. Mince pies bought, friends, teens and husband heat and serve the ready made mulled wine. You sit on a throne like chair and just eat, drink and talk. A christmas movie on for any children visiting.

Christmas day I would do as suggested above. Simple roast with elements pre prepared, and all dones by husband and teens. good year to teach them how to make decent roast potatoes. Buy in snacks and deserts done.

Buy both children a new family board game for christmas. You can play together over the next few days.

If you have a garden, a nice idea could be to buy a small firepit. And you could sit outside a few evenings together with crumpets, marshmallows, even chestnuts.

Also, with you children now teenagers, i would sit down with them and simply ask them. you can explain you will be tired or can't walk far etc, and see if they can help come up with some good suggestions.

Alanamackree · 03/09/2018 16:48

Is it wrong that I’m a little bit jealous?

If it were me, I’d pile the gifts up at the end of your bed and in the morning everyone could sit around in their pjs opening presents, but only after the dc have brought you breakfast in bed of course!

Then after a slow and lazy start, get up and dressed (maybe), get lots of help from dc and DH to make dinner. Take votes now on what they want for dinner as you have the freedom to be a bit more non- traditional when you’re not entertaining. Do the easiest version you can find so that the dc can pitch in and you can wave and give instructions from the chaise langue

Spend the evening on the sofa watching movies and eating quality street and playing with new toys. Maybe round the evening off with a round of turkey sandwiches a fiercely competitive board game.

BritInUS1 · 03/09/2018 16:50

How close to Christmas is the surgery? What are you having done? You don't have to say, just somebody might have had similar and be able to give you some perspective on how you might be feeling

For example I had major ankle surgery in February and spent 4 months on crutches with my leg in plaster up to the knee. I actually felt OK, just a bit tired, but couldn't do much.

I had a knee scooter, which was a godsend

Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:51

Thank you all for your replies. I am feeling much more positive about it now!!

OP posts:
Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:52

I am having a full hip replacement. So pretty major surgery and complex this time too. I am dreading the months being stuck inside and I am a jolly person by nature and always outside, so dreading it a little bit.

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Original poster
deepsea · 03/09/2018 16:54

What is a knee scooter??

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AnnieAnoniMoose · 03/09/2018 17:08

Start by deciding that you will spend Christmas 2019 on a snowy mountain. The free loaders can get to fuck.

As for this Christmas...attitude is everything (well, ok, not quite but it helps!). In your situation I would have a Christmas Thoughts evening with DH & the kids. Ask everyone in advance to think about what they would really like to do/not do, eat/not eat etc. then have a lovely evening discussing it. (Anyone grunting/moaning/shrugging gets sent away). Obviously some wishes will be incompatible with others, but they’re old enough to discuss what the best thing is for everyone and somethings can be done by some, not all (like them going for a walk around the neighbourhood to look at the lights) then if you want to go to you can also do a drive around.

Food - does everyone actually really want the standard fare or would they prefer something else? Does DH have a family favourite he could make?

I far prefer less fuss over Christmas Dinner and more time playing games, building Lego sets, watching films and drinking Baileys...

But the deco would go up before I went into hospital, irrespective of when that is. Nothing comes between me & my Christmas lights! (Only inside, too lazy to do outside other than a few strands in the tress by the front door!!)

I hope your op goes well. Make sure you rest as much as you should. They’re all old enough to pitch in and do what needs doing!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 03/09/2018 17:15

We disappeared a few years ago because the thought of a small Christmas fills me with sadness only because I've always had huge 15+ people christmases. This year it will be me, DH and the 4 kids. I'm NOT going to stress, we can't afford a holiday so we're staying put.
I have booked a local carvery restaurant for lunch and told the kids they can pick an online shop's worth of nibbles and bits for dinner. (DS2 wants lobster! DS1 will want a pot noodle 😱😂)

Everyone always thinks I'm weird for dreading a small, quiet day.