How much on the children - am I mean?

[SilverDoe]

We are stretched financially at the moment; I have 2 little ones who will be just turned 3 and 11 months come Christmas.

We both, DH and I that is, adore Christmas and want it to be magical. But the fact is I don’t have a lot to spend on presents - will this ruin the day for them do you think?

On the one hand, I feel guilty feeling the need to make sure that at least the 3 year old who can understand what’s going on has a big pile of presents. On the other hand, I feel guilty at the thought of not providing that! I had pretty wealthy parents growing up and remember the excitement of opening the presents - but surely it’s exciting regardless, especially at such a young age?

So my question is, at what point does being frugal become being miserly and Scrooge like? I have an idea of what I’d like to get DD, and I don’t think the not even 1 year old will be too fussed as long as the day is nice. I’d rather focus on the fun and magic and food without stressing about presents but I’m genuinely worried and stressed about affording enough to make the day special. What is normal to spend and roughly how much stuff do you/did you buy for your little ones when they were toddlers?

At that age too much is overwhelming and not enjoyable!! Mine were more than happy with a cuddly toy and some stickers

Last year my kids favourite present was a box filled with helium balloons. Keep it cheap while you can. 3 year olds don't care how much things cost. I'd also have a look at buying second hand because the plastic playsets are always perfectly fine second hand and 3 year olds kids don't know, nor would they care, that they are second hand.

There are so many reasonable things that you could buy, particularly for your 3 year old, that would create a pile, but cost relatively little. Things like multi-packs of play doh, packs of crayons, get tips, colouring books, pound shop books.......

Also, look at charity shops/ local selling pages etc. We have picked up some great bargains over the past few year, which we’ve wrapped for our little ones. They are too young to understand that they are not new.

When ours were younger I bought lots second hand from Facebook selling sites, local baby markets (not sure where you are located but central Scotland have a jack and Jill market that sells baby stuff which needs to be in a certain condition before you can sell). We also used to recycle toys from the older one to the younger, they didn’t need new things so we just reused.

I’d also recommend starting to look in B&M, home bargains etc and pick up small things as you go.

You will have a fantastic Christmas anyway, it’s not about how much you spend.

We don’t have money problems and I still wouldn’t spend more than about £30 total on DD.

I bought my eleven month old (at the time) a box of the cheapest tissues I could find which she was allowed to pull out and tear to pieces, one of those marathon foil wraps (50p on eBay) and a mirror for her first birthday. She was made up.

Traditions and quality time will form so much more of their memories and they don't need to be expensive either: walking round the local streets to look at lights, film nights snuggled under duvets with hot chocolate and baking at home are where it can all begin...

The most magical Xmas i can recall as a child (over 60 years ago), was the one when my Mam made a skating rink from a mirror

This made me cry.

I never spend more than £100 each on mine.....often less though harder with the older 2 (9 and 11)I decide what I'm getting as a main present then look for it in sales/groupon etc. I always wrap up stuff like new pyjamas, towels, bedding, underwear. They're always happy to get them and I buy them through the year. Last year my eldest had a new duvet set from a primark bargain bin for £3. It was one of her fav pressies!

I also pick up things for stockings in food shops etc. Eg hair bands with reduced stickers, earrings and so on.

Having said that I do try to go for quality over quantity and not just buy stuff to fill up the pile. I like to think they will actually use everything I buy!

Honestly kids love anything at that age! My youngest step kids favourite Xmas gift was a sticker album with loads of shinny glittery stickers and some crafting stuff to make things. It was hours of entertainment as cost eight quid. The expensive stuff was looked at but not played with tbh.
The older ones always want money or computer games/consoles and basically more expensive things.

Absolutely spend less while they are so young! As others have said they have no concept of how much something costs at that age and will be happy with something that cost £10 :)

DD is almost 8 and I still wouldn’t spend more than about £30!

Charity shop book! Toys...

When mine little we did free, second hand stuff. Still do that now but sometimes gifts have been New.
It's more led on their interests. This year DD already asking for item, saw it for cheap then usual so got it. . other DC gift will cost slot more.

We save every month for Xmas. We don't buy stuff, in year, small gift Easter eg book, dress up outfit. B'day smaller gifts. Xmas is our big one

This thread is so useful thanks so much!

Sticker album is a fantastic idea, I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it before - DD loves stickers.

User’s post about the ice skating rink also made me cry too, what a beautiful thing to do and how lovely that you remember it and treasure the memory.. it’s set my off again

My son’s first Christmas we were skint and I wrapped up at least 2 things that used to be his older sister’s. He was 7 months and didn’t know any better. His sister was 4 and didn’t remember the baby toys herself. Is this an option? I nearly always bulk out my eldests presents with pens, colouring books and pads of paper as she likes drawing, colouring and writing stories. Doesnt cost much.

Facebook marketplace might be useful and charity shops. People donate loads of stuff their children have barely touched- myself included.

Honestly op there is so much second hand stuff out there...for pennies.. NCT, charity Freecycle.. they will not one or care it's second hand

Also - if you live in Scotland, there are "Jack & Jill" Markets. I think it's everything for ages 0 - 9 toys, clothing etc. Haven't been, but I understand they are very popular, bargains to be had, and the goods have to be up to a high standard. Find out more online.

3yos are easily pleased. Nothing expensive needed. Stickers, glitter, small toys. Baby will have no idea what’s going on so I’d wrap up something small your eldest had but may have forgotten about for the baby. Get some Christmas telly on and you’re sorted. No presents for any adults. Don’t buy an expensive piece of meat. You could put a packet of ham on a roast dinner and the dcs are so little they’d neither know nor care. You can walk the streets at night and look at houses that are lit up. Less is more at Christmas these days. It’s become a disgraceful festival of consumerism.

My dd is 4 this year, but last year we did an activity advent and we did things like

family movies with popcorn, snuggly pj's, and hot choc
Game night (orchard games)
Santa trip
Xmas stories under the tree
Walks in the woods looking for deer who my dd was convinced they were reindeer
Made bird feeders for birds
Arts and crafts
Baking

This made Christmas for us as we did festive things together as a family

Present wise dd had masses and couldn't have cared less so I wouldn't worry

Don’t worry at all, OP.
Your 11 month old doesn’t need anything -presents for babies are more for the parents! They will enjoy the Christmas tree, lights, empty boxes etc
With a couple of carefully chosen items you could spend less than £20 and your 3 year old will be very happy - 3 year olds have no expectations of Christmas.
Enjoy Christmas before your DC get a bit older and start asking for all manner of ridiculously overpriced Christmas toys

Take a look at the toys for a pound website it's popular on the Xmas bargain thread

For some reason I didn’t consider secondhand much of an option before but these are great ideas - we have lots of baby clothes and some toys that are pristine from when DD was a baby and I suppose others are the same; I will get hunting! Drawing pads another great idea; DD loves to draw like all little ones :) I now have on my list for DD

• Packs of stickers
• Pads and pens/crayons, 1 colour pad one paper
• Board game to play on Xmas day
• Books - all individually wrapped
• Main present - Duplo, hopefully secondhand but have found a big box at Smyths for ~ £25
• Chocolates and cheap stocking fillers for stocking.
• perhaps a “wildcard” present obtained by taking £5 - £10 to a charity shop or similar

I feel much better now taking your advice: listening to your tips and writing out the list I’m confident I can get all she needs for under £60

At that age they won't care about what they are opening. I used to save up things they needed (e.g. PJs, pants, socks, other stuff) so they could unwrap them. They love unwrapping, the paper, the boxes, the presents they could usually take or leave! So you're not mean at all - plus it's not point breaking yourself financially just for a Xmas.

Have a look on the Christmas bargains thread on the Christmas board. I can't link to them atm but the thread titles are below.

Thread 2 - Is it just me that thinks Private Twinkle jewellery sounds rude453

www.theworks.co.uk/c/multibuys/10-for-10

10 book for £10 from the works.