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Christmas

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Original poster

DS suspects that Father Christmas is me!

43 replies

TheToldYouSoDance · 11/08/2018 10:05

Help please!! DS will be 10 soon and almost busted us last year when we used the same wrapping paper as FC. Not sure ‘FC shops at Aldi too’ will fly this year. Any tips for letting children know the truth about the big man. Apologies if this comes as a surprise to anyone here. . Thank you!

OP posts:

duckling84 · 13/08/2018 07:10

My 9 year old ds most definitely believes in father Christmas and the tooth fairy! But I am aware time is running out and every Christmas he still believes is a bonus. My dd went through years of trying to work it out and questioning it, it happens. And them knowing doesn't make Christmas any less magical.
When they realise, sit down and talk about how santa was real and discuss the story of saint Nicholas, then explain how santa is real because although in body he is long dead, he still lives in our hearts so his spirit lives on. That I'm itself is an important and powerful message

BertrandRussell · 13/08/2018 07:41

If you came to my house on Christmas Eve you might well think that my 17 and 22 year olds still believed.........

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/08/2018 08:37

I think I'd tell him at 10 - that is unless you think he really wants to go on believing, even though deep down he 'knows' it isn't true.

Essential to make sure he won't disillusion any younger ones, though.

When she was 8, my dd1 said very matter of factly that she knew Father Christmas was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it.

So I did, while adding that there must be not a word to dd2.

Many years later- she must have been early 20s - she told me she'd been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a bit longer!

Didiusfalco · 23/08/2018 08:40

I’ve come clean to my 8 yo. He said something about it not being real in front of other children this week who still believed and it was awkward so I’ve told him the truth and that he needs to be ‘guardian of the magic’ - a useful phrase borrowed from a mnetter friend - for younger and other children not in the know. He took it completely fine.

Didiusfalco · 23/08/2018 08:53

Follow I love your link. What a great reply.

keefthebeef · 23/08/2018 08:59

We have a simple rule. If you believe in Father Christmas you get a stocking. DS15 and DD13 still believe. I remember the sceptical years, but rode them out with a high handed ‘well, its up to you isn’t it, it’s an act of faith, if you believe he will come’ so they play the game every year for a selection box, a pack of pants, socks, few bits of tat and a lot of smiles.

UnaOfStormhold · 23/08/2018 10:00

This blog definitely made me see the "Yes Virginia" letter in a different light:

"No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus. Love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. But Santa Claus does not exist. He is a story made up by your parents. You should be extremely suspicious of anyone who tells you otherwise. And far more importantly: You should be extremely suspicious of anyone who tells you that you’re a bad person for not believing things you have no good reason to think are true. You should be extremely suspicious of anyone who tells you that, in order to experience love and generosity and devotion, you have to believe in Santa Claus, or any other mythical being there’s no good evidence for. You should be extremely suspicious of anyone who tells you that “childlike faith” — i.e., believing things you have no good reason to think are true — is somehow in the same category as poetry and romance. You should be extremely suspicious of anyone who tells you that the world would be dreary without Santa Claus: that without Santa Claus, the light of childhood would be extinguished, we would have no enjoyment except in sense and sight, and existence would be intolerable. That is one seriously messed-up idea. Adults know that there is no Santa Claus. If they tell you otherwise, they are lying to you."

trancepants · 23/08/2018 13:21

My DS is still totally wrapped up in the myth so I can only speak from my own experience as a child. Sometimes children are looking for assurance that Santa is real rather than the truth. So it can be best to be circumspect with your answers. Don't lie but wait until you have figured out what he actually wants from you before answering. When he asks about you both having the same wrapping paper (for example, I know that was last year), ask him how he thinks that happened. If he wants to genuinely know the truth, he'll say it was you who wrapped both. If he still wants to believe in Santa, he'll come up with an explanation of some sort, and you can say something like, 'yeah, that could be it.' And he'll let it go.

I believed until I was 11. They last year in particular was an absolute willing suspension of disbelief. I knew it wasn't likely but I chose to believe. It wasn't pretending, or playing along. It was just a choice to believe in the improbable because I loved the idea of Santa.

dinosaurkisses · 23/08/2018 13:29

DH (now in his mid 30s) still tells me the story of outwardly asking his mum when he was 10 if Santa was real- she never lied to him so he believed her when she said of course he’s real!

The next year, their head teacher “let slip” that Santa wasn’t real- he seemed to have been preparing the class for senior school so none of them would be teased for still believing.

DH was devastated that he’d asked his mum a straight question and that she’d lied to him, and instead he had to find out infront of his friends at school.

MinecraftHolmes · 23/08/2018 21:44

He's 10, he's trying to let you know that he already knows. It depends whether you think you'll just be blunt about things from now on, or whether a "Father Christmas must shop at Aldi too, nudge nudge wink wink" set up will work for your family. My family always went for the , no one was traumatised by finding out that our parents were Santa.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/08/2018 21:48

Ah I remember when DS clocked that the alarm sensor in the front room wasn't really FC watching his behaviour, and was told by a friend that FC is a fraud. He decided he still wanted to carry on the tradition even though he knew it was us - he is 18 now and still goes to bed early on Xmas Eve and opens his stocking after bounding into our bedroom at the crack of dawn. Knowing the truth doesn't mean the end of the fun of Christmas.

Butterflycookie · 26/08/2018 11:32

I was about 9 when I found out

notacooldad · 26/08/2018 11:46

Why on earth would you want them to believe for real that FC exists at over 8. Sure we do all the jokey things when they were younger e.g. ' carry on like thst and you won't be getting a visit from you know who!!" But to treat your kids like idiots when they are 10 is just daft. Who we benefit is it for, yours or theirs?

theunsure · 26/08/2018 11:49

I knew, but my patents never actually said. Why so you actually have to tell him?

I remember my dad saying something like “if you want him to be real, then he is real to you”.

continuallychargingmyphone · 26/08/2018 11:50

I don’t think it’s odd but I wouldn’t try to convince him at this age. He’s approaching an age where honesty is paramount.

notacooldad · 26/08/2018 13:57

Who we benefit is it for, yours or theirs?
Damm typing mistakes! Of course I was saying ' Whose benefit is it for?'

KC225 · 27/08/2018 13:51

My son was 9/when he asked if Santa was real why is he using wrapping paper from IKEA? I just laughed. I heard him discussing it with his twin sister and with her hands on her hips and head to one side she said 'Are you really going to take that chance. Can you afford to take that chance?'. Which was bloody scary as those are the exact words I use, and body language when I tell them to take their stuff upstairs before I bin it for the 100 the time.

Agree with the others at 10 its time. But you've had a good innings.

Onehellofaride · 28/08/2018 11:41

I’m sure my 11 yo DS doesn’t believe but we’ve never had to say it. He is still happy to play along with the whole thing. DD is 9 and does believe but I’m sure when she has doubts we will just carry on as normal. I never told my DM that I didn’t believe but I’m sure she doesn’t think I still do!

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