How do you explain about Father Christmas to a 10yr old?

13 replies

Devonsent19 · 02/01/2018 22:02

My DS is 10yrs old and we have just enjoyed a wonderful Christmas-in his words.I am so appreciative that he had a good time as I try to make it special for him. We are a single parent family and he has Aspergers so has struggled with Christmas in the past.
My DS has been asking about Father Christmas this year and whether he exists.Due to his condition, he questions everything, is very literal and likes to know the truth.
I didn’t want to spoil the magic of Christmas for him this year so encouraged him to believe. We’ve always watched films like Polar Express and The Rise of the Guardians which cover the question of believing but this year he’s quizzed me on their authenticity. He did a letter to Father Christmas, left mince pies out on Christmas Eve & hung up his stocking.And he was so excited on Christmas Day to
open his stocking presents followed by his presents from me.
So my question is how do I tell him the truth about Father Christmas without shattering his illusions and ruining future Christmasses for him? How have other parents done it? Any tips would be greatly appreciated.My DS is a smart boy but quite immature so I have always tried to make things age appropriate for him.I heard about an autistic boy this Christmas who still believed in Father Christmas at the age of 18 because his parents had been too scared to tell him the truth for fear of upsetting him.I don’t want this for my son.

OP posts:

jobobpip08 · 02/01/2018 22:08

Always such a tricky one! I was lucky my eldest never asked the question but we found out this year he knew by the end of primary so I'm assuming someone 'told' which is always the risk as they get older!

I've been saving this for my youngest though, hope it helps. www.pinterest.com/pin/181551428708749668/

TittyGolightly · 02/01/2018 22:11

I couldn’t have told a barefaced lie like that to a direct question. (We’ve never created the myth of santa though - don’t see an absolute lie as in any way magical).

I do t see how you can break it to your son without him getting upset, to be honest. You’ve missed your chance for that.

mineofuselessinformation · 02/01/2018 22:12

I told my dcs that Father Christmas only comes to people that believe (when they started to doubt), but that they would still get presents anyway. (I've always done FC presents and presents from me too iyswim.)
I did an extra year of FC presents when they were starting to wonder, just in case!

mineofuselessinformation · 02/01/2018 22:13

Just to add, that I don't see that as a lie, because you are acting as FC, just as you may have been the Tooth Fairy when he was younger.

MimpiDreams · 02/01/2018 22:14

I also told my DD that Father Christmas only comes to those who believe. She still puts out a mince pie and a glass of milk for him. She's 24.

bialystockandbloom · 02/01/2018 22:16

My ds also has autism, he asked me straight out a few years ago when he was 7. I couldn't literally lie to him so told him the truth, he took it fine - he's now coming up to 11yo, and very happy to go along with dd (younger), put out stocking, mince pie etc. The magic definitely hasn't been spoiled

mummmy2017 · 02/01/2018 22:16

Explain that once long ago Santa was a very real person, that he has a grave and everything, and when he passed on people loved him so much they took him into their hearts and at Christmas that part of santa that lives in us all comes out to play, we buy gift for friends and loved ones, and let the little children believe in this, but as he is going to move onto big school soon, it is his time to become part of the Christmas Spirit and to be come part of the Keep Santa alive for the babies of this world.
Tell him how proud you are to be able to share this special service we all do, and that one day if he has his own babies he will become another parent who shares the love of christmas with his family , just as you do now.
Tell him now he know the truth, Christmas can become even more special and next year you will give him his very own Santa job, and he becomes a Santa's Elf, just like you and his dad, and like your parents were before you...

bialystockandbloom · 02/01/2018 22:18

Oh yes the tooth fairy still lives on for him too

TittyGolightly · 02/01/2018 22:18

Anyone got a spare bucket?

NoStraightEdges · 02/01/2018 22:19

That's wonderful mummy2017

mummmy2017 · 02/01/2018 22:20

Isn't Christmas all about the Season of good will,
St Nick was a real person, not my fault you feel one way, and other feel another... Titty...

rosybell · 02/01/2018 22:27

Just explain it's a fairytale. The magic of Christmas is way way more than just believing in Santa. You will be doing him a huge favour as presumably he is off to secondary school soon. Critical thinking skills are good to have so just take it as a good sign he has started questioning things.

Original poster

Devonsent19 · 04/01/2018 12:53

Thank you all.
I'm afraid I've never been able to be completely honest on this subject but will take on board the suggestions of those of you that have been. I am all too aware that this needs to be addressed before secondary school in September.
I love your explanation mummy2017, thank you-I will definitely be borrowing this as I'd like the magic to remain for my DS and this seems a perfect way to do it. rosie and bialy, you have reassured me with your positive comments too.
I also carried on with a stocking and milk and mince pies, mimpi, till I was about 23 and my Mum finally said she was too tired to wait up until I got in from clubbing!!

OP posts:

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