We were at home for all of 3 hours yesterday, long enough for dd (2 next year) to open and play with some of her toys. And then we had to rush across to the in law’s for dinner and the rest of the day. Dh decided that we should stay there for the night so that we could both have a drink, not have to pay an extortionate taxi fee and dd could go to bed at her normal time.
I always knew that it would be a difficult day with it being the first since losing mum back in January. But I honestly didn’t realise just how difficult it would be and kept having to take myself off to the spare bedroom for a cry. I kept getting comments if I gave dd a chocolate, or if I got myself a fresh drink (from the supplies that I had taken with us) and just generally made to feel unwelcome and in the way
We’ve been home for a few hours and have spent that time taking the tree down so that we could organise the living room to fit in the ridiculously big toys that have been bought by the in laws for dd (despite them knowing we have very limited room).
I sent mil a picture saying we had taken the tree down so we could start organising and got some horribly snotty comments back that it was still Christmas and why didn’t I wait until new year. I said it was because the front room was cluttered and that it hadn’t really felt like Christmas this year and she replies with “Good job you only have one child just think if you had 2 or 3”. I’ve ignored it as I feel like she’s not really taken on board how I feel given the circumstances. Dd doesn’t know the difference this year and I’m hoping that next year I will feel more festive and happier to keep things going for longer.
Anyway, I mentioned to dh would he like to try something new next year meat wise and he frowned at me as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. So I asked if we would now be expected to go to his parents every single year from now on and his reply was “probably, knowing them”.
Now, I really don’t think it’s fair of us to be expected to drag dd away from her toys every year. I’d like to be able to do our own thing, start our own traditions. But, I can see this going down like a lead balloon and causing so much resentment. Dh says when they were children they never went anywhere in Christmas Day, people always came to them. Why should I be expected to fall in line and do what they want every single year?