What do you do to remember people at Christmas?

[SouthWestmom]

We buy a Christmas decoration for the tree for someone we loved who has died in the year:

I just found myself wondering where to get a cat decoration

And then I realised I missed them all so much even though some of the decorations are many years old.

That is so lovely noeuf I may steal that idea. We light a candle and put it in the front room window, I think it is an old Irish thing whereby you invite the spirits of the dead to visit you on Christmas Eve so they can see the light and come in.

Feel free!

I love candles, that's a lovely thought. When I travelled I used to light a candle for my dad in churches and cathedrals I found. It felt like bringing him with me while they were lit.

I'm Irish and I was told that putting the light in the window was to help guide the Holy Family to Bethlehem, but I really like your interpretation Bella, and I will think of my dearly departed when I light my candle this year.

I'm Irish too and we were told that the candle signalled that anyone in need of a place to stay was as welcome as the holy family. That's gas that there are so many interpretations!

I love all of those ideas tbh.

I have found a cat on Amazon, which is a relief as I can't face shopping anymore !

I miss my aunt who died 20 years ago in her 30s. I'm now older than she was, which makes me immeasurably sad. I have lots of her tree decorations and i love every tatty bit of them.

We decorate my late brothers christening photo with tinsel. Sounds rather naff to some but we see it as including him in Christmas - it comes with us when we stayed in a rented cottage. According to mum it was me that started it - makes sense as I was 5 when he died. Plus I have last cards from gps framed that come out every year. We always say a toast to absent family at the start of the main meal.

I light candles at Mass, and we talk about Christmases past and funny things that happened. Watch family videos and thing "Oh Jesus, look how young gran looked". In DH's family (runs risk of outing myself if any of them read here) - they crack out the FIL's parents' urns from the garage and stick them on the fireplace. With fairy lights and tinsel.

At the start of the Christmas meal we do a toast to "absent family and friends". My brother also did this toast at his wedding and it brought tears to my eyes

I have a photo of me with my dad on Christmas morning when I was about five or six - he died a few years later, also close to Christmas.

This year I decided to frame the photo and have it on display with some fairy lights around it amongst the Christmas decorations. Every time I walk past it, it makes me smile. For years I would try not to think of my dad at all at Christmas, but actually having a photo out feels really nice. Thinking of everyone on here who has lost somebody this year (or any year) xxx

We toast to absent family and friends whom we have lost and would love to be sitting with.
This year we lost our great grandfathers who were heads of both sides of the family so we are releasing a balloon for each with our personal messages on them.
I've kept the last Christmas card from each family member lost over the years and always shed a little tear when we are putting up the tree and display them. The one from my DF sent Christmas 2010 wished us all the happiness in 2011. He died in the January and knew he was unlikely to see the end of that month. I always think how brave he was to have written that.

I have two special-to-me ornaments that are put on the tree to remember my parents. One is an old tattered remnant of a garland they had

My hubby puts a cardboard toilet roll insert covered in cotton wool made into a snowman on top of the tree his mum made it when he was small he is now in his 50's. I hang a tree decoration made by my daughter when she was 4 made out if pine cones, glitter, and a cut out angel she us now 35.

I have a photo snowflake decoration of my mum that says 2011 (the year she died and when I bought it), a hanging heart which says 'Thinking of you at Christmas mummy', and a Christmas photo of her sat underneath my (tabletop) tree.

And a Swarovski decoration that I bought for her, which has now come with me and is mine. I was 22 when she died, so I didn't have many Christmases of spending my 'own' money on her, and it was one of the first 'proper' Christmas presents that I surprised her with.

These are very bittersweet. I think Christmas is quite hard, remembering past Christmases. There are a lot of empty places at the table, I think I will introduce the toast some pp have mentioned.

Nobody else knows this (and it will sound really stupid) but on special days (Christmas, her birthday, the anniversary of her death), I get out the tiny little container I have of my mum's ashes (the size of a camera film canister) and give it a little kiss (and have a wee chat).
It comforts me.
This will be the 4th one without her and yes, it is a little easier I suppose but it's always different now.

Oh Maddie that just made me cry. Bless you. That's so lovely. Hugs to all who are missing people