Do you link santa bringing gifts to behaviour?

[Fueledwithfairydustandgin]

Just wondering really as it's something I'm really firm about not doing but I feel hugely in the minority (nothing new) so was just curious

Nope.

No never

No way.

I don't. Even more so after a story my MIL told me, about a little girl from a low income family who was crying and saying how good she'd been and hadn't Santa realised that she was a good girl. She just hadn't got a lot of presents as her parents couldn't afford. My MIL is normally not that aware of things and she still gets upset by this story!

Absolutely not. Conditional love is pretty worthless really.

God, no. The only prerequisite is that he only comes when they're asleep!

I'd never 'cancel Christmas' / not give their presents to them, so I'm not telling them his visit is conditional.

Yes, but they know I'm joking.

No, never have.

No, not seriously.

I have occasionally said don't forget Santa is watching, but not with any conviction!

DD2 (4!) is well up for sibling being dropped in it with Santa and not getting any gifts. Doesn't seem to realise it would also apply to her...

No

Absolutely not.

Never - it's cruel.

I don't, no.
Although the elf on a shelf did "go home" for a couple of hours because he didn't like the arguing.

No. Santa isn't even mentioned when there's bad behaviour going on. Same as the police or other authority figure are not going to punish naughty children. Why use something you can't stick to in order to control your kids, and if you do stick to it and no presents come then that is downright cruel.

No never.
But when I'm at work I hear people shouting at their kids 'If you don't come here I will cancel xmas!' 'Father xmas wont come to you because you are a naughty child'
So it happens alot. ☹

No, never. I think it is cruel too.

No, only in a joking way because it is mentioned so much. I said to ds all children are good really, bad behaviour comes from still learning, and that Father Christmas brings gifts because he is kind, the same as we give presents, not to get something in return. There’s a better lesson in that than don’t do x or you won’t get y.

Yes, is that bad?

I don't but have mentioned it this year. And what was clearly (to me, anyway) a joke, has possibly been taken seriously by my dd as she said "well at least I have two presents under the tree".

Will NEVER mention it as a joke again.

My ds wrote in his Santa Letter at school that he has been good but sometimes he can’t help it and that he has been working really hard at Maths! So school seem to maybe have suggested Santa has a performance related bonus scheme, perhaps?

No i didn't when they were younger. I say it as a joke now they are old enough to know it's a joke (13 and 10)

No. If children misbehave they need clear and immediate consequences. Nobody can be perfect for 12 months of the year. Setting children up to fail.

No, never. I think it's horrible & manipulative. It made me feel very uncomfortable as a child.

The most I do is 'Father Christmas [santa] won't come unless you are asleep'. But as teens that's more of a joke anyway.

Hi I do do remember you (and obviously your crocodile!!) I have a large penguin this year 🙈 It's so nice to read this and feel like I'm not the only one because it's all I hear from everyone else. I just don't get it? What will you use the rest of the year? And I make mistakes all the time. It's how you learn. I obviously still expect santa to come for me

I would tell him santa won't come until he's asleep happily but he's only 3 and is wrecked by 7 so I've never had to yet