Am I silly to worry dd7 will be disappointed

[StormyIsland]

Dd7 has asked for a kidicom max phone. DH is saying definitely no, I'm not keen either. We have a constant battle with trying to limit her screen time and just don't want to get her a phone even if it's just a kiddie one. Also I think 80 pound present is excessive for a seven year old. We're about to move to a big house with lots of land to go on adventures in and would prefer her to be out rather than staring at a phone. She says she is not interested in toys and only likes electronic things. Objectively I'd say yes she isn't massively into toys. She loves imaginary play with her friends or siblings but prefers to use random bits and bobs in their games (plastic phones, wands, bags, hats, pots and plates, notebooks etc). She is also mega active and loves her scooter and bike, dancing and music and anything outdoorsy or anything to do with her friends.

So far I've gotten her : baby Annabel, double buggy for her dolls (second hand), electronic secret diary, bedtime stories for rebel girls book,, beado JoJo bows and a unicorn onesie. She'll get maybe five presents on top of that of other people. We don't tend to do lots of stocking stuff.. maybe some chocolates and pyjamas but not much more. Her little brothers are getting presents that are going to make them scream with excitement. Nothing expensive but just the perfect presents for them.

I worry she isn't getting enough presents and especially that she isn't getting a present that's going to make her go WOW. Is this just silly and a recipe for a spoilt child? She has always been mega grateful for any presents and even for every single birthday card she gets. I was always disappointed at Christmas because we were poor. We are not poor but probably tend to get less expensive presents than people who've got less money as we don't want to bring up spoilt children. But I'd like to find the middle ground where they get presents they find really exciting without getting them super expensive stuff.

I thought about heelys but she's super clumsy and they are dangerous anyway. I thought about a massive rocking horse but won't manage to get one in time for Christmas. Just can't think of anything that'll be really exciting. Am I just worrying for no reason? She'll have an amazing life in the new house!

She'd love an electronic diary and has and poured over the rebel girls book, so not that dissimilar sounding.

She sounds like a great kid btw. Keep doing what you're doing ✅

I’m also soft and would get the phone... I don’t think getting your kids what they want for Christmas makes them spoilt, it’s a one off day and it’s how they are the rest of the year that does that and sounds like you’re doing a great job. Same goes for screen time really. Some of the outdoor ideas above are great though if you’ve decided against it, particularly walkie talkies!

Isn't a phone a bit pointless anyway, as at that age she's unlikely to have anyone else she can call or text? I'm sure DD started the annual request for a phone around that age and survived perfectly happily without one until she started secondary school. Start preparing her for disappointment this week though by asking what she would like instead.

I would get the phone as well but I am a total pushover when it comes to Christmas. I got the kidicom for £65 on Argos 3 for 2 a while ago so doesn't seem as expensive I suppose. I also justified it as I know my Dd would love a camera as well and this can also be used as a camera/ tablet type thing. You can't actually make calls on it, just text to a mobile that has been approved and the app has been downloaded. I don't think It's the same as getting a phone

I’ve got a 7 yo, admittedly a boy but obviously see a fair number of 7 yo girls. Those toys sound too young. It’s not that you haven’t got her enough but it sounds like you haven’t listened at all. She’s told you what she wants, says she doesn’t play with toys, you’ve decided no, and then bought her toys that from how you’ve described her don’t show any thought for her preference or personality.

My son asked for the phone but I decided not to. I did get him the watch as a compromise and hes longing for a go kart which I got so he will be screaming in excitement for that.

Not sure what id do in your situation. Its always nice to have a wow present. I think the novelty will wear off probably if you did get the phone but the reason I didn't is that I fear it'll naturally lead to a real phone sooner than I would hope.

It’s not about being “soft” and getting thenohine.

It’s about doing what you think is in your child’s best interests.

And seeing as she will have her whole teenage and adult years with a mobile glued to her hand, why not hold off for a bit longer?!

The walkie toy idea is brilliant. She get her electronic buzz and perfect for new home with land.

I'd go with walkie talkies or the phone, too. There's a risk she won't be overly interested in a baby doll and pram; she's getting towards the older end of average for that type of toy, and whilst she may have an exciting life at the new house, so will her brothers and they've still got presents that they'll love. A new house isn't really a Christmas present for a 7 year old.

I'd go walkie talkies and maybe some garden equipment like a summer house or climbing frame, personally.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Quite good to get different views on it.

I think with this she was partly trying to tell us she is more grown up. Also that she wants something that's just for her. We've lived in a small terrace where the three children have had to share everything (dd7, ds4, ds2). She hasn't had her own room (as she refuses to sleep away from her brothers) and she hasn't had anything that's just for her. This problem will be solved in the new house though. We've agreed she can still sleep in the bunk bed in her brothers room but she will still have her own room where boys are only allowed if she says they are and where she will have all her stuff. We've promised them a swing, a treehouse (old one has to be left in the old house), desks and a chicken each 😂but they know it won't happen until Christmas. I think her own room will solve a lot of problems though.

For those who said I've not listened to her or that baby Annabel is too babyish.. she's got two designs friends and a cheapo baby doll. She's specifically requested for a doll that drinks and wees and a double buggy and a changing bag for them. So I have listened to her. Also she often complains how she doesn't like how girls are supposed to just like pink and dolls etc and not adventures, guns etc. Although she is a massively girly girl and loves dolls, makeup, dresses etc just doesn't like that it's expected I think. Hence the rebel girls book. She's also crazy about JoJo bows.

I had another chat with her this morning explaining that I don't know what father Christmas will bring but that I know he doesn't tend to bring things that are as expensive as that phone. She's now saying actually she doesn't mind and just wants anything electronic like a camera or voice activated diary (which is what she's getting). Her DH has also now said he's getting a new phone after Christmas and that DD can get his old phone to use. I can't see how that makes any sense as I was the one wanting to get the kidi phone for her and DH was so dead against it saying definitely no screens. And I'd say a real phone is a worse idea than a kids one. But she's happy now knowing if she won't get it she'll get daddy's phone. I can't be bothered to start arguing with DH about this as it would just become a massive argument with kids getting upset about us arguing and DD is now happy.

I might get her a little handbag though and maybe a book about writing as she says she wants to become an author 😀. I think it'll be ok. Thanks for your help everyone!!

Sounds fine to me. I would also hold off from the tech stuff. The diary sounds good and will hopefully distract from the phone.

TOP marks for the rebel stories book . There is also a book called 'rejected princesses ' which you could keep in mind for when she is a bit older.

You must let her watch Little Women over Christmas. BBC Radio did a brilliant version earlier this year which is available on CD, but It's the ultimate story of a girl who wants to write & play.

Massive cross post. Was dealing with a toddler tantrum!

My 6 yr old DD wanted that phone too, but I steered her in the direction of something else. I wasn’t keen on her messaging friends/sending pics. It’s far too young for her to go down that road. She’s asked for a Fitbit type watch instead, which she’s super excited about. Like your DD, I think she just wants something a little bit more grown up.

I know lots of girls up to the age of 10 who are asking for dolls. I think a lot of the kids’ YouTube channels are very toy/doll orientated.

You could get her some Lush bathbombs. They are amazing to watch and always a huge hit with my two. They even have spinning fidget spinner ones!

All sounds lovely.

Personally I would move heaven and earth to avoid a phone at that age. My older DC's have mini iPads but I can restrict use and they don't leave the house, phone's are much harder to control.

My teen still doesn't have an iPhone, smart phones bring so many new issues with them.

You can really strip an iPhone of most abilities, online access etc if you can want to in the settings though.

That phone looks overpriced an pretty naff TBH. If you got it I think it would be discarded quickly.

Why not get her a kindle? Cheaper and does the things she wants- takes photos, plays app games. You can get her a kids email address so she can email grandparents etc. Are those not the sort of capabilities she's after- surely she has nobody to actually call yet?

I wouldn't bother with the Kids Fire either BTW, just the £35 Fire 7. If it's hooked up to your amazon account you can see exactly which apps she's got on there etc.

Hi OP - just a little tip - the Usborne create your own story/comic etc books are excellent - my DD loved them at that age. She's now nine and writes reams and reams of stories

What about dance lessons?

I thought she'd get bored of the phone pretty quickly lowdoor. That's tended to happen with anything she's ever owned except for her makeup kit she uses loads.

Thanks for the Little women tip stickerrocks. I think she'd love that!!

I'm actually hoping that with the Christmas presents and then all the new things for the house and the garden we'll get after Christmas she might totally forget about the whole phone thing. I wouldn't massively want her to use DHs old phone as there's no parental controls. Plus like someone said before who would she text anyway.. none of her friends have phones.

Wwwwww she already does two dance lessons a week. Also violin and piano lessons at school and is starting swimming on Sundays. She's asked to swap one dance for gymnastics but wouldn't pay for that yet before she's tried it. I think this should be enough I hope. Don't want them to get used to massive piles. In fact I was talking to her about volunteering at the local food bank and explained to her about poverty. She was asking if she could volunteer too and buy some presents for kids who won't get much. I really don't think she's the type of child to start crying about lack of presents. If she felt disappointed she'd never tell me. I wouldn't want her to have that disappointment but then our kids get a lot of stuff, toys, holidays, regular trips that cafes and fun fairs etc. I think I might not be the end of the world to sometimes experience the feeling of not getting exactly what you want.

I say get her what she wants, BUT the kidicom/digigo 'phones' are utter pants, honestly. Would you consider a cheap basic smartphone maybe? She could use WhatsApp to talk to family, and will have miles better camera, games etc. No need for her to take it to school or bed or indeed out of your sight so perhaps not as scary as it first sounds.

I think the metal detector is a really cool idea. perfect for the new garden

I agree with getting her a Kindle. You could download some books on it and stick some apps on there for her.

DS2 is the same age and has all sorts of technology...however he also plays for hours with playmobil, lego, football and on his bike. It doesn't have to be a slippery road to spending 24 hours a day on technology just because they have it.