3 yr old DD heart afraid of Santa

[mamaiFifi]

My DD is afraid of Santa so much so she doesn't want to come home in the evening, she wants to stay upstairs when at home and during the night has been wakening crying asking hear that noise? It's Santa. In the morning she is in hysterics when I try to get her to school for fear Santa has been downstairs. She has said Santa is allowed to leave her presents outside.

I have reassured her that Santa isn't coming and won't harm you. Mum and dad would never let anyone hurt you etc. I don't discuss Santa or use him as a threat and I am not a shouter. I have told families members also not to mention him. As far as I know nothing major has happened we haven't brought her to see him or anything. I just don't understand this huge fear, she should feel safe in her home.

Any recommendations on what we can do just to get us through the next week? Not to come around to Santa but to feel secure in her home and not be afraid.

Thanks

To be fair, a strange old man coming into your bedroom at night while you're sleeping is pretty scary.

Put up a 'Santa STAY OUT' sign?

Ours used to be sore afeared of the shopping centre Father Christmas’. Two of the girls also worried about him being in the house at night. We wrote to him and asked whether he would mind not going upstairs and just pop into the sitting room. He wrote back a lovely letter. Maybe you could write a letter explaining that your daughter is frightened and would he mind just popping the presents in the post this year?

Maybe wait until when you're next picking her up tomorrow and say I spoke to Santa today, we had a long chat that we don't want you to be frightened, so Mummy has made sure he knows only to come on Christmas eve and Daddy will send him the key for the porch etc and he'll leave our presents there... how does that sound?

Or something along those lines?

My dd is also terrified of Santa (but is happy to accept his gifts🙄😆)

Our Christmas story now is Santa knows who’s worried and he does go in those houses, instead he stand outside, clicks his fingers and his magic are the presents appear under the tree and in the stocking. This has been the only way we could make her happy about the whole thing. She’s 5 now and accepts this happily without much worry (she still needs some reassurance that Santa still knows not to come in)

I was the same as your DD when I was a kid. To me there is an obvious contradiction between parents (justifiably) making their children fear strange men approaching them or invading their space, and then expecting these same children to rejoice that, erm, a strange man is going to come into their bedroom at night while they are asleep. There is added sinister content in the weird red costume and face-concealing beard. The whole Santa thing needs purging out of the collective mythology in my view. Some children are surprisingly logical and do not deal well with obvious contradictions like this. In my case I was doubly appalled: first by the idea of the uninvited scary old man in my bedroom; and second, when I eventually found out my parents had been lying to me about his existence. I am now happy to admit that I was a strange child but it seems as if there are a number of children around who feel the same way. So sorry OP, I have no constructive suggestions; I see your DD's state as the inevitable result of our societal habit of giving contradictory messages to children and of telling them untruths, albeit well meant!

My dd was terrified of Santa at three, we put the stocking downstairs so he didn't come near her room.

Thanks everyone for your contributions.

My husband suggested taking our tree down, but I don't think that will really help the situation. She will still see them everywhere else.

It's a nightmare she wants me to sleep beside her at night and asks me to promise not to leave her room.