Just can't afford it

[moolady1977]

So I moved in with my dp at the beginning of October we were both working and on decent wages, fast forward 2 weeks and he lost his job, he has applied for 100s of job even agency work and still no job down to my wage having to cover everything which means nothing left after bills and direct debits are paid. So between us we have 5 dc and 2dgc plus his parents and mine and to top it off its my dm birthday boxing day and we are totally skint haven't been able to get anybody anything. I'm sick to the back teeth of Christmas adverts and Christmas songs and just feel like crying

For starters forget the adult presents, DM birthday as well, just focus on your own DC's and then the DGC.

There are lots of ideas online of how to succeed with a frugal Christmas

Only get the DC - try home bargains and charity shop options - you may be in luck

I'm struggling too.

I've limited it to one present per child ( £30 ish for my two and £10 per niece or nephew), A bottle of cheap fizzy wine each for my siblings and nothing for the adults.

I'm eating with relatives, who are feeding me for free.

Do you have any old toys or books that could be re gifted to some of the grandchildren? Can you offer free babysitting as a gift if you don't feel able to not get your children anything?

And yy to charity shops.

Maybe explain to the adults that money is tight for now, but when things pick up, you will buy them a gift/treat them then?
Good luck with the job hunting.

For adults and parents, who know reality and are probably all a bit tired of exaggerated Christmas celebrations anyway, it should be no problem. But for the children it might be worse not to get any Christmas presents, for example, maybe your parents can help out? It doesn't have to be expensive to count as a good Christmas present, and for example board games, books and teddy bears can be picked up at charity shops (perhaps even cheaper if you speak to the shop about your situation).

Can you talk to a charity organisation?
Depending on the age of the dcs could you buy books or a board game for the family?

Loads of people are struggling. It’s a shame isn’t it

Depending on both sets of parents ages and situations, can you not ask them if you can borrow some money?

Could you or your partner do anything like tuition, babysitting, ironing or some kind of odd jobs in the next 2 weeks for cash in hand?

Can you use your overdraft if you’re not already, or get it extended - even just by £100-200 to help with Christmas?

Do you have a coin jar? I know it wouldn’t give you a fortune, but count up the coins and take them to a bank, it could help towards something for Christmas.

I always make a few presents each year - used to be purely for my enjoyment, but now mainly due to lack of available cash, and these are always well received. Depending on where your skills lie, and what materials and tools you both have access to or could buy cheaply, you could do this too. I love sewing, and I’m making a kitchen apron, and juggling balls and a bag to store these in - I had all of the materials at home. I’ve made children’s dresses, dolls outfits, finger puppets and monster-type soft toys before too.

This year I’m also customising a jumper I bought cheaply with appliqué details. I’m making chocolate mendiants and shortbread too - both are very easy to make and low cost. I wrap them in sellophane from Tiger (£1 per roll), and fasten and decorate with ribbon & a Home made gift tag.

Pinterest is wonderful for ideas.

You could potentially make chutney, jam, ginger syrup, or jars of sweets - re-use any jars or bottles from home - just sterilise first.

I also go and cut some lengths of holly and wrap with brown parcel paper and fasten with ribbon or twine, and that makes a nice little gift - looks like something from Liberty or an independent florist.

Look around your house, is there anything that could be re-gifted? Also, do you have any gifts hidden away that you’ve bought earlier on or for another occasion that you could give now instead? The same goes for wrapping paper and cards.
Poundland have some beautiful wrapping paper this year, and some good boxed cards. They also sometimes have some good books and DVD’s, as well as nice little arts and crafts items for giving as children’s gifts.

You could also visit B&Q and tear off lengths of beautiful wallpapers and wrap gifts in these.

If you’re interested in any projects I’ve mentioned, let me know and I’ll send links to online pages.

Best wishes.

The most important thing is to make sure bills are paid, everything else is secondary.

Talk to your adult children about your finances and mention that you'll be buying token gifts for young children only and won't be buying for adults.

If your children are coming to you for Christmas dinner then request that they all contribute to the meal. Something brings starters, someone else desserts etc so the burden doesn't fall on you.

If you must get your mum a gift then pick up something inexpensive from Lidl, Aldi or the Poundshop, the same for the children as well.

Can your partner pick up some bar work? Restaurants and bars are hiring casual staff atm. Make sure that his CV is polished and he practices his interview skills while he's looking for a job. What kind of job does he do.

Plus go through your house and gather old stuff you no longer use and sell it on schlock and your local Facebook pages. It's amazing how much stuff you accumulate and how much you actually use.

Buy for the children only. And by that I mean those who are still at school and not out working full time or having access to a student loan or any other means of regular income.

You buy for your lot, he can buy for his. If he can't afford it it's not your problem. It doesn't sound like you've been together that long anyway and you are already taking up the slack for household expenses while he is out of work.

Schpock not schlock.

Do you have any reward points at Boots, Tesco, Sainsbury's etc you can use to buy gifts?

Have you got anything you can sell on eBay or Facebook - toys no longer used, clothes, household goods?

Have you tried matched betting? There's a thread somewhere on mn ... or look up savethestudent for a guide.

Can you bake cookies/make fudge/make truffles and give them as gifts in jars or bags?

I've been in this situation and still am to a certain extent. It's hard.

I've noticed people on local FB sites asking for someone to help assemble trampolines/toys, clear stuff out for Christmas etc. Could your DH advertise himself as available for things like that?

In terms of clearing stuff out, he could even then sell some of it on (though I'd make sure the people knew he was going to do this).

Does Freecycle still exist? If so it's worth signing up and seeing what's on there.

Also if you have some nice bowls or large jars you don't need you could plant them with bulbs, tie a ribbon round and give to adults?