Help me pull myself together

[Peta11]

Hi there.
As the title says i need to pull myself together so i can make sure everyone has a good christmas.
I am normally like Mrs Christmas every year, i am the go to person for everything.
i get all excited, get my children husband all excited ,lots of baking, days out, decorate every room, help siblings/ parents get organised sometimes with decs, shopping for gifts etc.
Help with childcare or run errands for them.Get christmas eve boxes done, And of course host everyone on christmas day night and boxing day. Generally help everyone have a stress free lovely time ,Etc etc.
Although im trying to be positive i havent had a great year to be honest, ive had 2 health scares and lost my both my beloved grandparents( 1 of which was just last month) so im just not feeling very festive.
I just feel sad.
Im doing what i normally do but i have no christmas spirit!!! Despite all the music/movies/christmas hats!!
I feel bad complaining as i am luckier than most.
How do i find my christmas spirit??! Any ideas???

Oh OP, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. This year sounds like it’s been tough and it’s ok to be reeling from that. How about going with only your DH to a candlelit carol service? They’re usually so peaceful and lovely and you can have some time to reflect on the year, light candles for your grandparents and have an hour ‘out’.

I'm so sorry you've had such a rough year... maybe you just need to take things slower this Christmas. It's completely understandable that you're still feeling sad after your loss - perhaps some long walks, Christmas movies in, church service if you're religious, time out to read a good book or just quietly browse through your favourite magazines. I think maybe all the general rushing around should be left for next year... being quietly festive can be just as enjoyable.

Thankyou both for taking the time to reply.I feel awful complaining but thanks for listening. I really like the idea of a carol service, DH wouldnt attend but i'd happily go alone i think. I just feel i need to do all the rushing/ skivvying everyone along because they are grieving too and if i dont do ' it' , it wont get done, and itll spoil their christmas. Everytime i try and relax or take time for myself i just feel overwhelmed with grief. So i make myself busy .

Christmas is a difficult time for me after bereavement. It's OK to have a different, more low-key Christmas this year. I found it helped to focus on some of the more spiritual aspects of Christmas (not religious, but music and candles). And to take time to be by myself. Explain and discuss with your family though, don't just power through or I think it will be more difficult.

The carol services are my favourite part of Christmas. So peaceful.

Just don't do so much this year. Drop the bloody Christmas eve boxes for a start!!

A candle lit carol service sounds lovely. Then maybe remember the happiness your grandparents would want their great grandchildren to enjoy at Christmas. Maybe find a photo of them, get a lovely scented Christmas Grandma candle and buy a personalised Christmas tree decoration for them that you can hang each year so they remain in your thoughts. Then do a nice long walk with your family collecting holly, twigs and fir cones to decorate the house together.
A walk by the sea or in the country remembering the happy times might help.

I promise that a more low key Christmas will not spoil things for others. Concentrate your efforts on a few special things and stop trying to do everything.

I have done tree decorations for everyone but candles and photos would be a nice idea too, and i like the idea of long walks and getting some holly etc.I think that could be a plan for this weekend .
Unfortunately the christmas eve boxes have been going so long that my children/nieces/ nephews would be really disapointed.
They arent half as fancy as some ive read about (pj's, certificate, choc coins and a lavender bath bomb to help them drop off! Lifesaver!) And my siblings wont do them !
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply and for your kind words all xxx