In despair, what to buy a nearly 15 year old who claims he doesn't want anything for Christmas?

[Dumbledoresgirl]

He isn't my only problem child. I have an older son who never wants anything either, but he at least has a hobby we can occasionally buy things for.

Nearly 15 year old has no hobbies, no interest in music, fashion, sport, books, nothing.

He sits on his computer most of the time, playing games. He has a headset for the computer. His games are all online, not the sort you can buy.

He has a slight interest in his appearance, nothing exceptional, but I am just trying to think of anything to say about him in case it triggers any ideas.

I am sick to the back teeth of trying to wheedle ideas from him. TBH, I am sick to the back teeth of this whole present buying issue we get twice a year at Christmas and birthday, but I am trying to stay upbeat and pleasant when I speak to him. Why bother you might ask. Well, only because he has other siblings who do have things they want, and I can't give them presents but not give him (and his older brother) anything.

Any generic ideas?

Maybe we need a thread for ways to try and get our teens interested in more things? 🤔
Mine has ASD which doesn't help as he tends to have very specific special interests

Mine has ASD too.

Teen boys can be hard to buy for!

Mine is into clothes though so that's something. He likes cosy hoodies. He also likes trainers.

I look at the suggestions for teen stocking fillers now and go 'no no no no' to most as I know from bitter experience a lot of things that I used to think he would like are complete misses and get sent to the charity shop a year later. In time to try to do it all again!

This year we are upgrading DS's laptop as his is on the way out. And he has some new trainers and a hoodie and track pants. Will,get him a couple of books - he likes sports biographies. His stocking has chocolate and socks so far!

Skin wise (maybe not for Xmas) DS uses th Clearasil pads. They seem to help. He shaves which also helps I think.

If he likes spending time in his room could you get him big cushions, framed posters, fan things related to his computer games? There are lots of fan websites that have tshirts, mugs etc.

From findmeagift

Thank you everyone for the ideas and, in later posts, the support and empathy. At the moment, I am desperately worried that my youngest son is going the same way as my eldest. It is hard to see things are going to improve when my 21 year old son still has zero interest in anything outside a very narrow world of computer gaming and wargaming. Even seemingly universal gifts - chocolate, vouchers (unless Steam) clothes, driving lessons, wellies - all go unused by him.

The younger boy, though he has no interest in wargaming, does have a slightly more outward looking approach to life. But that does not translate to a desire to suddenly pick up some hobby I introduce him to, or to try out a new experience.

I realise what I am saying now is a bit of a wider issue than that of what to get him for Christmas, but it was the present issue that prompted me to start the thread. Perhaps a support thread for parents of introverted, risk adverse, geeky, withdrawn children would be the best present I could receive this year.

smellies not wellies

I also have an autistic teen DS into PC gaming. If you can find out their favourite games, redbubble do a lot of merchandise. DS got a "binding of Isaac" t shirt for his birthday (he loves it) and is getting a "steam powered" hoodie for Christmas.

I've just asked DS to give me a definative list (I only have a couple of days available that I can do shopping)

XBox controller
Money

Well that's sorted them

Oh, I've bought him a wallet and keyring (Assassins Creed) he doesn't use them.

He does wear fan-boy TShirts (A/Creed , The Walking Dead, the BigBangTheory inspired ones) so he'll get a couple of them

Ooh, I also got a print of a favourite meme for his wall, he got this one for his birthday:
people/iskepticfedora/works/23226683-team-fortress-2-engineer-nope-avi?gridpos=2&p=poster&rbs=c1321012-c09c-4698-ae36-e3363bba66a8&ref=shopgrid

Again, redbubble is your friend. Also "present indicative" website has lots of aspie friendly amusing items, DS is getting a fridge magnet Nicola Tesla in his stocking.

Sorry, link not working. It's "engineer nope"

www.redbubble.com/people/br0kolee/works/12459334-engineer-says-nope?finish=lustre&p=photographic-print&size=small&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=g.pla+notset&country_code=GB&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyIuPsqv_1wIVRLgbCh3RNAzVEAQYASABEgKtYPD_BwE

Your post could be about my brother - no idea what to get him either. I've got a grey hoodie, a pack of those silly mouth place mats that we can mess around with at Christmas, some chocolates & I'm thinking of a cineworld gift card & a nandos gift card so I can take him & a friend?

Hi OP I think you have had a lot of ideas here from posters, I think if it was my DS I would give mainly money for him to use in future, then a few bits of clothing, toiletries just so that he has something to unwrap, as even though he has no particular interest in clothing as per designer, as a 14 year old he is probably shooting up and outgrowing things. For relatives I'd just say vouchers.

DS had a couple of school friends at 14 who spent all their spare time on computer games but now at 16 they do get out and about playing sport, going to cinema etc with the other boys - so there is hope that he may change as he gets older.

As an aside to those posters who have felt they have wasted their money because things are unused due to their DS having no interests- another position is a teenage DS whose interests/obsessions change every 6 months - year so you buy him stuff for one hobby only for this to change a few months later!!!!

Having a child who appears to have zero interest in real life is not fun. - but it's not necessarily zero interest in real life is it? (Speaking generally not just about OP's DS) - maybe it's zero interest in material things? My DS has plenty of interests, sports, Church, part time job - plus the inevitable Facebook/snapchat or whatever he does all day - but he doesn't necessarily want any more 'things' in his life so he is more than happy with cash which he can put towards the sort of clothes he likes or save for the future. I guess I could go out and choose the relevant trainers/T shirt/whatever but I would be bound to get it wrong - and would be horrified at the cost. Somehow giving him £100 and accepting he might spend it on trainers seems 'better' to me than spending £100 a trainers myself which horrifies me - totally illogical I know.

Ds showed me a lovely polo shirt a few days ago in a local sports shop.
It was Hugo Boss. And £110.

I'm very open minded regarding designer clothes but good god I ran out of the shop

The sales assistant said they are the current best seller. Ds would likely get spaghetti bolognaise all over it and it would be in the bin.

@Ragwort - your son is not like our sons at all - I think it is hard for someone whose child does go out & who isn't materialistic to understand that it is possible for a young person to not want anything at all - he wouldn't even pay in the cheque he was given to his aunt for his birthday as it was too much effort.

We have engaged with various support services but they have not managed to penetrate his carapace despite their experience.

OP, I can't message you back, I've tried.

Yes, my son's have received gift vouchers and not used them. It is embarrassing for me although I suppose the giver does not know that the vouchers are not spent. I try to buy them off my sons if it is at all anything I am interested in, though, tbh, I don't spend much on myself either.

BigGreenOlives, I can't think of any reason why you can't message me. I will check my settings though.

Gaming gift voucher or t shirt or poster ?
A hamper of hair products or skin products
?
Day out with meal and game purchase ?

LordSugar Next do a Hugo Boss polo up to age 16 for £52. ds loves his, it is kept special for birthday parties etc. I don't know how we are going to afford it once he is in adult sizes!!!

A photo book of his baby pics?

LordSugar my DD convinced me to spend something ludicrous like £70 on a Justin Bieber hoodie (at the Hyde Park concert) it is white with red/black so yes, fun to wash and a dirt magnet.

For the price I'd have expected Justin B in the hoodie as well, but she's had loads of wear from it ( I tried to convince her to have a Tshirt £30 but she was adamant) .
So I guess , grudgingly, it was money well spent?

Have you asked him about gamer conventions? I don't know too much about it but they have Comic Con etc for people whose lives revolve around films etc so presumably they have the same for gamers? If they have them then my understanding is that they are not cheap - perhaps a ticket to one of those? Your son would then meet his peers IRL, which might be worth considering.

For the younger boy - has he ever been to the London Harry Potter place? It has sets and info about the process of film making. I know parents who took kids, and the kids loved it and the parents booked an adults only trip later, just so they could properly enjoy the technical aspects and artwork displays. It really isn't babyish. But it is expensive, so a voucher for that would be a great gift, maybe?

Thanks :) however my ds is over 6ft and stocky ( with size 14 shoes ) so well and truly in men's xl/xxl depending on the make.

He's a nightmare to buy clothes for.

Hope you manage to find something op