For some reason worrying about this instead of sleeping!!
I'm in my mid twenties and i have really lovely relatives, a great aunt and her son and daughter , my mum's cousins, who live quite far away, but very occasionally visit (although I've just met the son once). The mother and daughter came one Christmas a while ago which was lovely, and they're such interesting, kind people. Saw them last 5 months ago. My great aunt always sends £50 or so to my mother for Christmas as a present to us all, or some years she sends my sister and I £10 each to buy a book and then the remainder to my mother, but my mother never reciprocates. My mother has never had any money, the relatives know this so they don't expect her to reciprocate, and she always rings up to say how grateful she is. And my great aunt's daughter often sends a little gift to me and my sister like a little eye shadow pellet for Christmas which is very thoughtful. When they visit they always offer to pay for everything, despite already paying for very expensive hotel as there's no suitable room in my mum's/my grandma's house, and are in general really thoughtful guests. My mum is a terrible host and I always feel very self conscious /awkward about this.. , but she cares full time for my grandma so I think they all understand what pressure she is under.
But anyway now that I'm older I love buying presents for people and I feel very awkward now if someone gets me something and I don't get them anything. I would love to send a little gift to each of them, I saw these lovely desk calenders when I was shopping the other week, like this but they were £10 where I was shopping, (www.willowandstone.co.uk/stationery-prints/vintage-travel-desk-calendar-2018.php?gclid=CjwKCAiAu4nRBRBKEiwANms5W5j7JrvT5co3UTPzFOTjtwvRbGcnJDH0AF7i6BmLS-3AGUeLXxgb0RoCy6YQAvD_BwE ) and I was wondering about getting each of them a different one. But I'm just worried that if I get them something it will reflect badly on my mum and my sister. (Maybe I could go halves with my sister I was thinking? Or even I could buy the present on behalf of me my sister and my mum?) Also, the son I've only met once and he's never sent anything as obviously he's never met me, but he was lovely when he visited, he also has children so maybe it's more appropriate to send things to his children but I've never met them! (I remember when his now 15 year old daughter was first born, I was in school about 10 years old, and I was very excited to hear there was a baby in the family, as I never had any cousins, and I made her this little stupid wooden train in design and Technology with a letter of her name on each carriage, but I needed help to finish putting it together and then send it, I kept on asking my (kind of) step dad to help but he never did, and I wasn't competent enough to do it myself, so I was always sad about that!! ) Or would the calendar be okay as a family gift? The children seem to have a perfect childhood so I'm sure they wouldn't miss a gift! I wouldn't like to not get him or his family anything if I was getting the mother and the daughter a gift, but also I'd feel bad if he felt awkward receiving it as I'm then reversing the situation I feel I'm in and he might feel he has to get me something!
Or should I just not get anyone anything and send a card with a message and maybe a little polaroid photo of our little family? Do any of you have younger relatives you buy for who start reciprocating with the gift giving? Or do they not and you feel they are ungrateful? Or do you not expect them to? I'm also very bad at reliably writing cards of thanks.. when I was a child sometimes I'd really go for it and spend ages making a thank you card, but I think some years I forgot, and now I'm older I do everything by internet but I'm not in contact with them by email or anything.. I'll make sure I definitely say thank you this year..
Sorry this is very rambly but if you've read it all thank you very much! Why does Christmas gift giving /receiving sometimes make us feel so awkward! So much attached to it and I feel like it creates imbalance and reading some other posts on here in some cases resentment if you give but do not receive! So silly!! Anyway thank you!