Am I being a Grinch?

[rackhampearl]

I have two DD ages 2 and 5 and I’ve always loved Christmas. I do trim the house up, we make decorations for the tree from pine cones ect (as well as our shop decs), watch Christmas films have Hot Choc and games nights throughout December. However, I keep seeing threads regarding Christmas Eve Boxes, December 1st Boxes and Luxury/Toy/Gift advent calendars. See, I don’t bother with any of this, and I don’t mind anyone that does, but have the times changed THAT much?? Should I be doing more and buying more? I would hate my kids to be going to school and feeling sad and that I’m stingy because all the kids are talking about a new treat everyday during December. We wear normal pjs sometimes new but not every year, we drink from normal cups and Santa eats his mince pie from a normal kitchen plate, nothing decorated or jazzy. We keep on our normal bedding and we buy a simple advent calender. Am I alone in this ? Or does anyone else do things a little more basic? I’m finding it hard to understand these new ‘traditions’ as each year passes.

Sounds normal. An advent calendar of any description for each child, a tree, a stocking with something in it, some nice food and presents. Done.
Though christmas games and fun times are also cool.

Everything else is extras.

Normal. Focus on what matters- family time- not on the market hyped extras.

So many people feel obliged to get all that stuff, then end up either/or/and getting into debt, working extra hours to pay for it, having to clear out the house to make room for it.

Not grinchy, I feel the same - I was going this way when my eldest was 2/3 yo, but I pulled back from the constant consumerism and do not do; elf on the shelf, Christmas boxes/extra gifts for advent/toy calendars, christmas themed everything in the house etc.

Don't get me wrong I love Christmas (and buying gifts) but I also see the madness of none stop spend, spend, spend - so I reign it in and focus on more family time and memory making.

December is spent as you say baking, a few Christmas outings, decorating the tree - but I try not to hype things up too much in the run up and Christmas Day is the main event here.

I honestly feel it is the 'traditions' and simple things that kids remember (though obviously the toys and treats are nice too!) so I try to keep everything pretty similar year to year. My kids are 9 & 5 and now they look forward to 'their' Christmas they know other families do things a bit differently but they don't care because they love our families version of Christmas - just as I loved my family's version when I was a kid. :)

I've never heard of Christmas Eve boxes and December boxes (well, obviously I have now, but I still don't know what they are).

No you're not a grinch. Honestly I've only heard of Christmas Eve boxes on MN, I don't know of anyone in rl who does these. I think the December 1st boxes might have been that posters own tradition? We've never done creepy little weirdo elf on the shelf which sounds like a lot of effort and something you could easily be rumbled on.

Don't get me wrong, we love Christmas though according to some on MN I'd fall into the category of "doesn't know the true meaning" as we choose to buy more than one gift and a stocking. We do Santa, their grandparents may take them to the children's mass at their church on Christmas Eve, we meet up with friends in the lead up to the day, have cheesy carols and Christmas films, make cards, visit a couple of neighbors and there are also various school events. The tree goes up @ a week before the day itself and we'll have a nice afternoon decorating it and talking about where the various decorations came from or were made by.

Each to their own of course and I wouldn't criticise what others do but I wonder sometimes whether some of the magic is lost for the children when it becomes this month long event? I think for children a week can feel like a month anyway so the build up for some must be interminable!

We do new pjs and treats on Christmas Eve and have novelty cups but the rest we don't bother with like bedding etc.

However we do likely spend more than the RL average on presents so it's not about the money. We just have our own way of doing things.

Sounds perfectly balanced. Some of the OTT Advent Christmas stuff is, I’m sure, about people trying to create a celebration with no real basis for celebration. The more empty the festival seems, the more tat they buy at extortionate prices to fill the void.
Yours sound like they’ll have very happy Christmas memories.

No, you are not.

The things I remember/treasured most from Christmas as a child:

• the coloured lights in the nativity scene at church

• my mum playing Christmas carols while she baked

• stringing up cards across the hallway

• opening the doors on the advent calendar (which only had pictures behind them, no chocs or gifts!)

Note that none of these things involve $$$. We got pretty modest presents, and, interestingly, never questioned the fact that we got way less from Father Christmas than our cousins.

I truly believe that the Christmas hamper/elf/lavish calendars/piles of gifts are more for the adults than the children.

We do a mix. The dc sometimes get a lego or playmobil advent calendar but not every year. We do have new jammies and treats on Christmas Eve the treats mainly because I’m busy that day so a Christmas movie and some treats because I spend a lot of the day running about.
We do however do a lot of family time I always buy a new board game and we do lots of Christmas crafts through the month and we live in the Highlands so it’s easy to find some snow for some sledging. I love December and especially love the Christmas holidays because it’s the only time of the year we get a whole load of time together with nothing else to do sort from to spend time together so I like to make the most of it but I do like to spoil the scary bit too because I don’t buy loads of stuff all year it’s contained to Christmas and birthday times.

We don't do Christmas Eve boxes, bedding, new pyjamas, december boxes, multiple advent calendars, elf on the fecking shelf or a lot of the extras. For the first time ever this year my two have the Lego advent calendars, usually it's a cheap £1 from the supermarket.

Asda are selling "Christmas Eve boxes" - a decorated empty cardboard box for £2.50. Tat-tastic.

Also saw a (usually sensible) friend complaining on social media yesterday as she feels bullied into doing elves on the shelf because "everyone else" is and she doesn't want her kids to ask why the elves aren't at her house when they're at everyone else's. I think that#s quite sad really.

I think it's important to remember that a lot of these new ideas are driven by consumerism/the retail industry. It's all about finding new ways to get people to part with their cash rather than injecting more fun into Christmas. Sounds like you have Christmas sussed so you don't need to add anything more to it just because the adverts tell you to.

I have the same concerns. Despite my dd only being 2.5 years I seem to be the only one in my friendship group/family who hasn't booked to see Santa, Doesn't have elf on the shelf, who won't put decorations up until mid December, no Xmas eve box, no specially ordered named baubles/santa sack/stocking, no xmas eve box - I could go on!! But I do worry that dd will think she is missing out in the future.

Xmas eve though was a big deal in my house when growing up. Cousins would come round and we'd have a buffet and watch an Xmas movie. I'm quite keen to do this with dd and will probably do the new pj thing as we won't have family coming round and pj's are always needed (unlike a cardboard box to put them in or a santa cam )

You don't need to do anything you don't want your run up to christmas sounds lovely. I have no idea what these boxes are about just seems more stuff why don't they put the stuff under the tree for christmas day ?

My dc are adults and i am sure christmas is starting earlier and earlier these new traditions are just a ploy to buy into christmas earlier and as for Elf on the shelf it is a creepy fecker

I have a bundle of Christmas books and dvds which go away with the decs, they will come back on the first and the dcs are looking forward to seeing them. I might add to the pile of I spot a nice xmas book but it's not a given and I've gifted the toddler ones.
I have bought new fluffy pjs, some years they have had them as early as half term (cold caravan trip!) but this year I think they'll be Christmas Day presents.
Christmas Eve we will definitely watch Father Christmas and the snowman and have hot chocolate but I don't need a special box. I let them decorate their own 'Santa plate' too. We're all a bit weirded out by the elf so that's not happening either.

I think it's important to remember that a lot of these new ideas are driven by consumerism/the retail industry.

Absolutely.

Happy to see other people who don’t understand these new things. It’s rather overwhelming. Seeing everything on social media and feeling like I should be doing more yet not wanting to buy into it all and the clutter. I think I’ll stick with how I’m going and our own classic traditions. Thanks guys!

Some of the things you are mentioning are festive customs from Europe and if you have grown up on British customs you don't have to follow them.
Europeans usually exchange Christmas gifts on the eve of the 24th which has never been done in Britain because you have Boxing Day on the 26th.

My DD is months and I am aware of this too. I want Christmas to be special and not over the top. She will get new PJs in Christmas Eve because that is part of my tradition.

This year we are going to see Santa. I personally would not have booked it but my her niece and nephew have invited her along with them and she loves hanging out with them.

We did go an see some reindeer at the local garden centre at the weekend as she loves all animals but she was much more excited that they had a play park.

There will be no decorations but in my house until December.

Just one piece of advice to mums of really young kids - under 3s. At that age they have no concept of time. They cannot get their heads around how long "24 sleeps to Santa" is. The sooner you put up the decorations and start the general buzz the sooner you've got an overtired and overexcited toddler who can't understand why they can't open those shiny presents NOW. Lots of tears, upset and a Mum who thinks she's doing something wrong as Christmas isn't the magic it's made out to be. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Not fun.

So my advice would be to keep it as low key as you can, for as long as you can into December. Then your child is going to reach peak excitement on 25th Dec, not 5th Dec.

If you're a grinch, then I must be too....
We have one wooden advent calendar which I fill myself each year (think individual small choc coins or similar) and which my 2 DDs (age 10 & 6) share...
We don't do 'elf on the shelf' or Christmas Eve boxes. We snuggle up and watch Christmas films together, we do quite a bit of baking and enjoy singing along to Christmas music CDs.
We do a theatre/panto trip - but actually do this on DD2's birthday (23rd Dec) as part of her celebrations (they do birthday shout-outs as part if the performance, which she loves).

We stick with the chocolate advent calendar. We don't do December 1st boxes or toy advent calendars or Christmas Eve boxes. I think it dilutes the actual day if you're getting a new treat every day throughout December. A little bit of chocolate is plenty and I only do that as I grew up having one. Otherwise it's a lot of pressure and a lot of expense!

I really wouldn't worry. We do a lot of these 'extras' but only because it works for us and is part of a wider family tradition. We are also a foster family and I like to make extra effort for my foslibgs, but none of it is necessary and there is absolutely no point if it's not fun. I think it only becomes grinch when you criticise other people!

What is in Dec 1st boxes?

Def normal!

I focus on the day, get calendars, once did our own elf on the shelf which I may do this year but only for a few days and our own letter.

But otherwise - I am too exhausted to do anything else! I have days out planned and so on....