Really quite sad, ds is going to be alone for Christmas.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Ok, he's a grown up,but still. He moved away a few years ago, shared house with friends. Had to work last year, but so did his housemates. Got stiffed on the rota this year too, but everyone else is either going home or has moved elsewhere. He may be working Christmas Day, but def before and Boxing Day, so can't come home (we live about two hours away) we can't go there as dh is only off Christmas Day. I know it's only one day, and first world problem, but oh, I do feel sorry for him. ☹️(And we'll miss him)

Multiple phone calls are good. And don’t be in a rush to leave the phone. I know that sounds like common sense, but I was on my own and working one Christmas and no one seemed to want to talk to me for longer than ten minutes because dinner was nearly ready/they were doing presents/someone was sleeping. It made me feel awful.

So there are several adult siblings? Why can't one of them go and get him? Have you raised several adults who are unable to drive?

If he really can't be there then I think sending him a nice parcel of things that will remind him of home would be nice but can't get over the fact that 2 hours isn't doable for him to come home

It's ok to be sad though it's worth trying to make a new normal around Christmas and trying not to dwell too much, both for your own sanity but also so as to not put too much pressure on adult kids to prop up their parents Christmas memories.

For us, dd is working this year too, and next year it's unlikely that any of our kids will be even in the country, so we will have to either travel for an alternative Christmas, or get used to having a very quiet time.

We are in exactly the same situation with our adult DS. We are just shifting Christmas along a few days. It's annoying but not a big problem. I think DS will be tired from work as he will be on 12 hour shifts so will be happy just doing nothing.

We always have low key Xmas day so it's not a problem to move it.

Arrange a pre-Christmas celebration and send him off with a hamper containing ingredients for his favourite meal, a gift he can do/make /play with on the day plus something indulgent and a Skype call.

Have you raised several adults who are unable to drive?

😂 What a peculiar comment. Two of my adult DC can't drive, it hadn't crossed my mind it was my fault.

And thanks Holdback and others, dh is working till 11 and ds2 on nights till the morning.
It is what it is.

Could he swap a shift so that he is working Christmas Day? He could come to you on Boxing Day.

Have you raised several adults who are unable to drive?
Yes I have, and for good reasons. I was waiting for that usual bit of judgey-ness.

I understand you’re sad OP

We’ve done Christmas without DH in the past, he’s in the RAF, and it was really weird. We still had a nice day, but that didn’t take the sadness and oddness away.

DS2 is in his final year of his nursing degree. He plans on working next Christmas. I’m not looking forward to it, I must admit. DS1 is in the army so there’s the chance they won’t be here on the same Christmas at one point. I think we’ll go away if that happens because it will be horrible.

My dd ( 22) was working in retail on Christmas Eve last year and not able to come home as we live 8 hrs away and no public transport by time she'd finished work...she was eventually able to come home on 27 th Dec...
she's working again this year...only this yr its teaching in China and the 25th is just a normal working day, but she'll be celebrating with her colleagues
If your Ds is working, he won't be alone, I've worked several Christmas's as has dh...( NHS) someone has to after all!

You have my sympathy OP. This year I'll have one away but two here. Grateful for the two - and video call for the other.
We'll manage.

I'd go and get him & bring him home as soon as his last shift finished & take him back in time for his Boxing Day shift.

Where does he work that he's potentially going to be working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day?

If you've got the cash you can get an uber/minicab on xmas day. Uber doesn't increase its prices.

Where does he work that he's potentially going to be working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day?

He could be in any role in the NHS. He might be a waiter, a chef or a bar person, a member of the emergency services. The RAC & AA etc all work over the holiday season.

we are in a similar situation, Christmas day here is Saturday the 30th, full dinner, presents, the full works. The 25th will consist of a two hour drive, dinner and two hour drive back. Making the best of a bad situation is all we can do

The have you raised adults unable to drive? post is fucking ridiculous.

IT will be at least c Eve and Boxing Day, but if he's doing them he's says he'll offer to do Christmas Day too. Nothing world saving, cinema.(yes, open on the day)

The cinema is open on Christmas day??? That is fucking miserable.

"you can get an uber/minicab on xmas day. Uber doesn't increase its prices." Not in the sticks where we are. It'd be a small fortune for that option.

I can understand why you're sad too. But Ive missed many Xmas days over the decades, my first as a 21 yr old. It's just one day, it is really not a big deal. Especially nowadays when there are FaceTime and Skype etc. My mum often made up a parcel of bits and bobs for me to make Xmas special, and rang at different times of the day. He will be fine.

Isn't it though Diego? But apparently the clientele include many who are alone on Christmas Day ironically.

I'm sure if getting together was at all possible, then the OP would have worked out how to do it.

It sucks OP. Cinema on Christmas Day, there's no need for it.