Grown up DCs partners, what to buy.

[irretating]

DD has recently moved in with her boyfriend. What's the convention in buying gifts for your DCs signifcant other?

Does it have to be roughly equal in value to DDs?

If I get DD christmas pyjamas/stocking, do I need to get him these things too?

I tend to get my co-habiting grown up DC something for them as a couple, so something for the house/game/food hamper.

Depends on whether or not they are coming for Christmas day, as if they do, I will buy something individual for them to open. But, although I try to keep values reasonably equal, it's natural to spend more on my own DC because I've got a better idea what they like and want.

If your DD is fairly young and/or of limited means, why not ask her if you can go halves with her on something nice for her OH? So she can get something nicer than she could afford otherwise and you have your present problem sorted.

My parents always get my DH socks and chocs. They get me a much more generous gift, although it is usually something he will also participate in (theatre vouchers last year).
PILs tend to spend similar on me and DH. Usually I have to suggest a gift for him and he has to suggest one for me though. At least I don’t have that with my parents’ approach!

My MIL gets us a 'joint gift'. The tag always says to my son and daisy. Last year the gift bag contained a pack of men's socks, a beer gift pack of a pint glass and dh's favourite bottle of beer, and a 'dad' book.

My parents spend the same on us or give us a joint present. My in laws spend abit more on my husband which is fair enough.

My inlaws always spend the same amount on me and DH and give us some cash too (the same amount each)

My parents probably spend about £200 on me and just buy DH a few token gifts.

A bit awkward.

When DH and I were together but not living together he/I would get a token if we would visit the other side over Christmas (we had a long-distance relationship for 4 years).

When we moved together and later married our parents treated us like the own child. We normally get small gifts like a book or something up to a value of 20 quid.

My PIL often give us joined gifts we ask for, mostly something for the house.

My mom has always spent more on me and my Dsis than on our DH's, however, she does it tactfully ... so she'll either give us both a gift of similar value and then when no-one's around hand me a wad of cash hahahaha, or else if it's something big she want to get me she'll buy it just before Christmas and give it to me e.g. a new lens for my camera or my beautiful SMEG kettle.

She has never made either feel less important.

I'll be buying dd1's live in bf a record (£20) and a box of his favourite chocolate. Will spend quite a lot more on dd.

Will he be staying over on Christmas Eve? If yes, I think a stocking would be nice but not PJs.

I think a token gift is fine at this stage. Nowadays my parents and the in laws probably spend a similar amount on me and my DH but we've been together a long time he and are close to both sets of parents. If they're staying over Christmas Eve then I'd do a small stocking for him, if they're staying Christmas Day id do pjs if you do them for everyone else.

I will be getting ds and dil a joint gift of either a John Lewis gift card (they’ve just bought a house), or a gift card for their favourite restaurant.

My mum and my in laws both get us gifts to an equal amount x

My mum doesn't spend as much on DP as on me but always tries to get him something thoughtful that she knows he'll like. Actually she usually asks me and I suggest something around £20.

I'd get him something that would benefit the both of them like restaurant vouchers, theatre or cinemas tickets.

cineworld gift box

both my children who have partners are married and we treat their spouses the same as our children. However our parents who both give us cash give more to their own children which makes us even over the year

My MIL gets us a 'joint gift'. The tag always says to my son and daisy. Last year the gift bag contained a pack of men's socks, a beer gift pack of a pint glass and dh's favourite bottle of beer, and a 'dad' book.

I love this. Next time she's round, make sure you're wearing the socks and are sitting with the beer in the glass.

I think it would depend what the partner's parents did. If it was a great relationship and the partner had no parents, I would treat them both the same. If the relationship wasn't great, I'd give my child the cash (which I'd hope would be for their running-away fund.)

My parents buy generous gifts for DH, but we have been together a long time (18 years) and they know him well. Last year they bought him a dashcam for the car and a bottle of Jack Daniels, and my nan bought him a jumper, socks and sweets. My parents spend about half as much on DH as me, my nan spends the same on each of us.

We bought DSS's gf her favourite perfume last year. It worked out about 1/3 of the cost of DSS's gift from us.

My parents get my husband token gifts (socks, smellies etc), my inlaws spend more on me then my parents do!

You can get some nice personalized framed pictures from a site called InkyMinkyMoo. The decorative recipes are quite clever. They can be joint or individual presents and you don't have to worry they've already got one or it doesn't fit them etc

When my DS got engaged, I started treating her the same as him, roughly in terms of spending when it came to Christmas or birthdays, the difficulty is not spending more on her, I’ve never been able to shop for girlie presents before, it’s lovely 😍