Advice please for gifting laptop to dd

[faintlinesquints]

Hi, I'm hoping I will be able to get a little bit of advice here as dh and I have different opinions on what we should do.

DD2 has been asking for a laptop for a very long time, and we have finally bought her one with fab specs for Xmas and will get her sims 4 and other gaming, she will be thrilled.

DD3 has just been awarded a laptop through the family fund. She is autistic and severely dyslexic, and the laptop will have some specialist installs for her plus the same programmes on it she uses at school, and she will hopefully be able to eventually learn touch typing on it too.
I suppose she would be able to play games too if she wishes but that's for further down the road and not anything we'd be looking at for her now.

Dd3 has not asked for a laptop or anything of the sorts on her Christmas list, but DH wants to give her the funded laptop as part of her Xmas. This would mean either reducing her gifts to reflect what the cost would have been (and not getting a lot on her list) or it would look like she has a lot more than her sisters do. She would enjoy using the laptop, but there are many other things I would prefer to give her for Christmas.
I think dd3 should just be given the laptop, she needs it for her learning, and if she was funded one in April say, he wouldn't have a problem giving it to her then. He feels that just giving her it will be really unfair to her sister, and that it will devalue the gift of dd2s (better) laptop.

Does anyone have any advice? How to make it fair to them both? Obviously we are very lucky that dd has been funded a laptop and we really do appreciate it. We have high hopes for it helping dd, we're just not sure how best to go about it.

Thanks.

I would give the funded laptop now, or wait until the new year to do it. I wouldn't add it into the Christmas pile to be honest.

I'd be inclined to just give her the laptop to be honest x

Funded one now. It’s to help with School so it makes sense to have it whilst she is there rather than Christmas holidays

Thanks, seems like no one agrees to add to the Xmas pile then..... how do I convince dh?
I would wait until January but I feel she needs to get the benefit of it sooner rather than later. It doesn't matter as much if she is at school as this one is for home use and she has the use of school ones when she is there.
Does anyone know how I could make this sound fair to dd2? Possibly a silly thing to be worrying about but dd2 hasn't had an easy time of it while we've all been coping with dd3s needs, and she already feels that dd3 gets all the attention or gets away with things more which isn't actually true, but I know she will think it's unjust!

It sounded from your OP that you haven’t had to pay for it, is that right?

So just say to dd3 “oh (whatever) charity has given you a laptop to help you, they do this to help You with your Work. We’ll collect it on a Tuesday”. Just make it a regular thing, don’t big it up to her and set expectations (at least for a while!) what it’s for!

Just say to her dad this isn't a gift but to assit her with homework etc yes it is a laptop and a big thing but don't make it a special thing it isn't a want but a need.

I agree and we're not making it a big thing, if dd2 wasn't getting a laptop for her Xmas then we wouldn't be thinking twice about just giving dd3 it.
I need to try and reason with dh now and try to get him on the same page, that it won't be devaluing our other daughters gift like he thinks it will.
Thanks.

He probably wants the girls to be equal and doesn't want Dd2 to feel left out which is fair enough but treating kids equal doesn't have to mean the same iyswim.

It's not a Xmas present. Keep it separate and give it to her as soon as you receive it.

I’d give the funded one now and explain that she has it becuase of the fund, I wouldn’t pass it off as a Christmas present tbh as soon as it arrives she would be allowed it

Why wouldn’t it sound fair to dd2 if dd3 has the laptop now? You just simply explain to dd2 that dd3 has been given this laptop from charity/fund to help with her school work