'Blended' Family - What's ok?

[Mablethorpe]

Family member has three kids from previous relationships and now lives with someone who has two of her own who also live with them.

Have only known the new GF and her DC since June. Is it acceptable to spend less on gifts at Christmas than on family members DC?

They are my niece and nephews for clarity.

Should say More familiar to you then not more family to you.

Seems really unfair to the niece and nephews that their presents must reduce just because their parent as moved in with someone with kids.

I think it’s totally acceptable to spend differing amounts. A thoughtful present doesn’t have to be lots of money especially as op says she has a budget.

Token gift will be fine, you've only known them a short while. Do not reduce the amount spent on niece and nephews. They shouldn't miss out and you shouldn't feel guilty.
I doubt that the gfs family will be buying three extra gifts each to give to your dbs children.

If they are still together next year then you can have a rethink.

I agree a token present this year as a gesture and continue to spend the same on your neice and nephews. 6 months is really not long enough to establish an equal footing and doubtless the new additions will be receiving present from their previous family ties. If you buy for your brother and new partner I would consider using that budget to buy for th e new family.

Good luck OP

DP and I don’t live together so it’s not exactly a step-situation, but fwiw, my family spend a bit less than they would previously have done on my DCs and buy the same thing for all of our children.

DP’s family give my DCs a smaller although still very welcome gift compared to DP’s children (think £5-10 v £30-40) although his grandad used to give my DCs the same money as his GDCs, which I always thought was very sweet of him.

If we all lived together and were seeing family on the same day I’d hope they would all be treated equally, as it’s more noticeable, hence why my family give equal gifts. As it’s usually a case of DP seeing them with his DCs and then me catching up with them another day it doesn’t have the same impact on my DCs to be given a smaller gift.

As they are older it is both easier, in that they understand the family dynamics a bit more, but also harder in that they are very aware of how much things cost, the discrepancy in the way my family and DP’s family do gifts etc.

Personally I’d say spend roughly equal on all children who will be receiving a gift at the same time.