Christmas with only "adults"

[WaxOnFeckOff]

My DC are now 17 and 16 so we really need to do something different with Christmas.

We are not religious and don't live somewhere where there is lots going on.

We've always done a Christmas Eve or roundabout then trip out. It's morphed from going for a swim and meal (to tire them out) to a show and dinner, to cinema and meal. Now not always on Christmas Eve so if we are in on the 24th, we watch a movie and get takeaway pizza.

Obviously the day is no longer taken up with extended present opening, building up and playing with toys, but the last couple of years we have still bought them things such as new video games or equipement and that has used up the day. Then Usually a walk for fresh air and dinner and a board game followed by movie and dessert etc later on.

Nothing they have asked for or are getting this year will use up any time on the day itself, so we will still do dinner and walk and game and movie but a decent part of the day is empty really. :(

There is nowhere locally we can "volunteer" or anything and going away isn't an option as DH only gets Christmas day itself off.

What do all adult households do?

Thanks all for sharing, I think we do just need to shuffle about what we do and get up later!

I'd love a chinese but also love the full works home cooked christmas dinner.

We always waited till after lunch, because we do Church. So up for stockings, special breakfast, dress, Church. Lunch. No one had time to wish they were having presents. We all did stockings together, we put them in the lounge not the bedrooms so they came down for them.

My sons love our day, even with Church. We have talked about it, and they like the routine/tradition.

What about a new game? We get new ones every year.

Or a jigsaw!!

We get up and do stockings in PJs with a cup of tea and maybe a croissant or brioche, then shower and dress and have a leisurely breakfast. Then do any prep for dinner (veg etc) , then presents and hopefully a walk if it's fine. It's usually gone midday by then , so time for fizz and something like smoked salmon or pate, and then get the dinner on (we tend to eat around late afternoon).
What we've found fun is to do a big jigsaw puzzle - it's something to do together but it doesn't matter if someone has to spend half an hour in the kitchen, or wants to watch some TV for a while instead. It usually takes us from Christmas Eve right through Boxing Day!

Great minds think alike popcorn

To be honest I think it’s far to early in life to be talking about how you won’t gave expectations for them to come for Christmas in a few years etc.

All it’s not right that they can slope off to play video games in their rooms on Christmas day (apart from maybe here and there at the end).

Can you build in going to the pub for a drink? (Obviously with a designated driver). Get a game you can all play even a silly one like Just Dance on the Wii.

Inject some fun into the day and make it do they participate.

I think you have set your expectations too low and they can sense the apathy. This will sound silly but are you demonstrative? Are you silly/fun/jolly with them? I’m not saying you should force it but what I hear from your post is this lack of energy and cohesion and pulling together as a family.

They might be in their late teens but they’re still big kids somewhere in there.

We've been for a Chinese on Boxing Day a couple of times - again hardly anywhere open (country pubs not convenient at the time and tend to get booked up), e.g. seeing relative with tiny flat and several of us descending on them.

It made for a fun outing - might see if DH can be persuaded to make it a routine.

(We actually often go to the beach on Boxing Day if it's not tipping it down - we do have two small DCs who need regular exercise - we find that among the owners of small DCs and dogs are also the owners of teenagers walking off the hangover!)

Do you have a Parkrun (free 5k run) close to you? Some do an extra run on Christmas Day so you could run / walk that or be a volunteer

When I was at home at this age we used to sit around getting slowly pissed.

I don't think that's the sort of suggestion you're looking for

Watching this!

I would agree with the Midnight Mass idea - one can suspend one's religious principles once a year! I would like to do this, but I'm put off by the fact that the local church is a) modern and ugly, b) happy clappy and c) populated by people I know who I don't want to know . Yes, I admit AIBU!

OP, you need a dog. Our dog has rejuvenated our family. Even if the dcs would rather veg on the sofa, the dog is having none of it and the last couple of Christmases has seen the teenage dcs on the municipal swings whilst the dog works up an appetite for a turkey dinner.

Lady you could find a lovely village church or a cathedral maybe?

I put some games in the stockings- things like a punch ball balloon or screamer ballon, or long balloon, for play fighting with. Wind up toys for a wind up toy race. Silly fun.

one can suspend one's religious principles once a year!

Umm, no we couldn't! I abhor all religious observance and could happily wax lyrical about it all night but I won't. I would almost rather invite a cyclist to Christmas dinner but it's a close call...:o

I agree we need a dog, but we both work and the cat wouldn't like it.

Parkrun? I don't think there is one near but really not our thing but great idea that might suit someone less lazy. :)

Jigsaw - maybe :)

Onemore - I agree, I think we have set the expectations too low. I suppose for a few years it was a good option for them to disappear and play their games while we got peace to get dinner together, but i think we are in a rut.

Not very demonstrative family now although we were a lot more when they were younger. We are all pretty shy. We do have fun playing games and they can get heated and we do rib each other and have fun. But it has to be arranged really, we all tend to do our own thing on a day to day basis.

I'm tempted to dig the nerf guns from the garage for a house battle. Those used to feature quite a bit on Christmas day, we tried it one year with crossbows (sucker darts) but DH broke half the christmas ornaments and smashed a picture..... :o

I do need to get my mojo revived. I've usually got a lot of shopping done by now! Been busy trying to sort out DS1s Uni choices - which he is really struggling with and it's sucking up a lot of time and mental energy that it really shouldn't be.

OP, it's sounds like you're viewing your situation a little too negatively. Without wanting to sound mean, maybe you need to just look at your Christmas Day differently.

You have family and really that's all anyone needs at Christmas. Make the most of the precious times.

We don’t have any kids, and spend Christmas Day at my parents with my adult brother.

The usual routine is to wake up about 7ish... open presents and have breakfast (something light like croissants).

Visit DH family, deliver presents.

Head to my parents sometime between 11-12..... usually my parents have been too busy prepping dinner to open presents so we do that whilst tucking into Buck’s Fizz.

Spend time whilst waiting for dinner chatting, looking at presents, talking about what’s happened in the year and looking back on photos from the year.

Usually around 1.30-2.00 we sit down to dinner... always 3 courses.. with say 15 mins between starter and main and sometimes 30 mins to an hour between main and pudding.... we always stay around the dinner table and figure out the cracker puzzles, or some card trivia I have bought.

Afternoon time is time for some chilling out, a walk, maybe a snooze, television.

Then come tea time we prep an evening buffet, normally to coincide with the soaps finishing and lay this out on the sideboard in the dining room to eat whilst playing a board game. Last year it was Ant and Dec’s Sat night take away... this is very interactive and was great fun.

That’s that... normally Boxing Day is a buffet and cinema and then 27th another family activity.. last year we did an escape room.

Hope you get some ideas from this thread OP.

Karaoke
Treasure hunt

They really aren't too old to have "something to play with on the day".

3D pen? VR headset? A fiendish puzzle, something Rubiks-cube-esque. Look at firebox, or iwantoneofthose for fun, gadgety bits that will interest everyone and give a focus for a while.

I stole this idea from a thread a few weeks ago:

Our rules are a pile of wrapped presents in the middle of the table (I try and get about 3 per person). Everyone takes it in turns to throw the dice - if you get a 6, you take a present. This carries on till all the presents have gone - some people will have lots, others may not have any!

Then, set a timer for 15 minutes, and go round again taking turns throwing the dice. Now you get to take presents from other people when you throw a 6, which we find is where the most fun is - trying to take presents that others think might be good and get rid of ones you think might be rubbish. After 15 minutes, everyone opens their presents and then you get another 10 minutes throwing the dice, trying to get a 6 so you can get the decent presents.

Oh yes the dice game is fab. I used to do with my book club - we were all good friends anyway and it got hysterical.

That sounds excellent Taffeta! Will remember for friends/when DCs are older.

When we were teenagers my stepdad introduced a post lunch sprout fight, the next year my Mum suggested it would be better outside but cooked extra sprouts. That became a good tradition for us.

We've also had space hopper races on the drive, give them a glass of sherry first!

We do the usual presents, lunch and walk with the dogs. ILS come for tea and we do a quiz, play cards and dominoes.
Then when they have gone we watch a film.

That's brilliant Turbo!

OP could you ask the boys to do the Christmas breakfast? A breakfast of their choice might give a focus to the morning and be a bit of fun. If they're not used to cooking stuggest something like stuffed croissants (pastry from a tin with our choice of fillings).

We have dogs, so two walks on Christmas day! I try to persuade the kids (now 21, 23 and 27) to come with us... We will get up (lateish, cos it's the only day I have off and I like to lie in), nice breakfast, dog walk, then home for flopping about (my kids have presents all in a pillowcase, and they open one about every half an hour through the day. Some are tiny, like wet wipes or toothbrush and some are larger. It's how we got over the 'to stocking or not to stocking' when they got older). Then nibbles, some alcohol, a game, another long dogwalk, then home for dinner, drinks, Doctor Who and as much food as we can eat generally. Then as I'm usually on an early shift on Boxing Day, I go to bed and they all sit up and watch rubbish TV and drink more alcohol...