Can I ask you about Father Christmas

[BoredOnMatLeave]

DD will only be 18 months old at Christmas so not that relevant to us at the moment but I guess it would be good to start traditions.

Would you mind sharing your father Christmas set up? I don't want DD to think father Christmas buys everything as I want her to realise me and her Dad work hard to buy her presents. I think when I was younger father Christmas got our stockings and a family gift (board game/video something like that). But then I guess that makes a letter to father Christmas a bit pointless?

What do you do at home?

There are quite a few different ways to go about it, OP. But for me, Father Christmas is paid by me and DH and delivers the presents for us

I still feel quite hard done by since although I'm taking financial credit, all that wrapping isn't known to be done by me

Other families I know say one special present is from Santa especially, other families say pretty much everything is from Santa and therefore the children (I think), wouldn't be all that grateful to Mum and Dad.... Just the magical Santa.

My Mum always told me she paid for Father Christmas to deliver/make my gifts in North Pole. However, I always use to ask why she didn't just cut out the middle man and do it herself I also said one year "Don't put the M&S Mince Pies out, it's not as if we aren't paying for his services"

My DNephew can't have any Father Christmas at all, he is very irked indeed by a random man coming into his home, eating food and sodding off again.

Santa (aka FC) brings the stocking and maybe 1-2 large presents.

There is always a present wrapped under the tree from DH and I (that's usually a bit practical like clothes, or a lego set or craft materials).

Anything bought by anyone else is given by them (whether under the tree in advance to open on 25th or given at family gatherings over the season after 25th - anything handed over before 25th goes home and under the tree).

Stocking includes:
Fresh fruit (red apple, green apple, mandarin, orange, very green banana and something like a peach/kiwi etc)
Sweets (or maybe something she'd love like mini packets of Prince biscuits (from Belgium) or Oreos in a pencil case....but treat food items)
At least 1 book, often 2 or 3 (a fiction story to read, maybe a factual book in an area of interest, and either another story or a factual book that is of less immediate interest but she would likely enjoy).
A few small fun items - pocket money toys, interesting art things from the Art Gallery, small items from our travels during the year, magnets for the fridge, a pack of Match Attax cards or whatever she's into...that kind of thing
A few small practical items (character socks, "magic flannel" that expands in water, festive pocket pack of tissues, extra hair bobbins, ...)

Any big presents from Santa are left beside the stocking, which is either out in the middle of the room with the tree, or maybe in the sitting room near the fire if the tree is in the playroom (we move the tree some years!).

Presents from Santa are not wrapped - whether stocking or larger.

Santa is a fan of home-baked cookies (what a WONDERFUL notion that was on an early Christmas Eve - that now cannot be abandoned - although we keep a half batch of dough frozen just in case we don't have time to properly make them on 24th now, we can just "slice and bake" instead ), and a glass of milk (he doesn't like to "drink and fly" in our house). Rudolph also likes to take a large bite out of a big carrot (that has usually been specially selected in the supermarket! Seperately bagged and everything!!).

In our house, he delivers small presents via stockings. (Book, tooth brush, socks, torch, a few sweets, some pencils/pens/crayons as is age appropriate.) He is left cake or mince pies or similar plus milk or sherry, and carrots/reindeer food in return. All other presents come from us/family and the children are happy with that. In some of their friends houses, FC brings all the presents, we have always just explained that different families have different customs and they have accepted that. (They are now 14, 12 and 10.)

Thanks everyone. I think I will go with stocking and 1 gift so she can write a letter/ask Father Christmas etc.

I have much younger siblings and my step-mum used to say to my sisters everything was from FC (including gifts from family) which meant they only thanked FC... used to annoy me so much!

Love the stocking ideas biddy thank you. I'm a keen baker too so hoping DD will be into homemade cakes in a couple of years.

Father Christmas brings the stockings in our house, so the letter asks for small bits and bobs that ds wants. So this year (first proper year he understands the idea - will be almost three at Christmas) he wants a torch, some dinosaurs, some playmobil to accompany his bigger sets, sweets and a pony! (FC will bring a voucher for a taster riding lesson).

All other presents appear under the tree between him going to bed on Christmas Eve and waking up on Christmas morning but are labelled from whoever bought them as I'm expected to write thank you letters for all of them on his behalf.

Father Christmas drinks Guinness (surprisingly enough the only alcoholic beverage DH likes) and eats home made cookies/chocolate bark, preferably with peanut butter in it.

Bored baking with DCs is great, if you have patience.

When DD was 1 (Boxing Day baby), she mixed the eggs, squished and rolled a bit of dough and cut out some shapes which DH and I kept aside to test (and which went nowhere near the rest of the batch of cookies for crèche!).

The next 3 years, as she grew, we had to make the same recipe, but she got better at mixing, measuring things on spoons and then scales, sieving the flour and baking powder together, stirring the dry ingredients and eventually getting strong enough to stir the wet ingredients. And a lot better at rolling and cutting! So I moved away from everything pre-measured into bowls before I got her apron on to help - and got her more involved in cleaning up afterwards (and then I'd mop up the kitchen floor flood! )

Santa's cookies are a different recipe, that is to a make a log of dough and slice off circles to lay flat on the tray. I found out accidentally that it freezes well, so some years we have made them from ingredients on 24th, but a few have involved getting the spare batch in the freezer out.

So just be careful exactly what traditions you start that may be hard to get away from.

(And when it comes to cakes and buns and things using a mixer rather than hand-beating in a bowl, again start with pre-weighed ingredients and low expectations, but building up using a butter paper to grease the tin and then making flour clouds as you flour the tin, putting bun papers into trays, and the other progression steps for the cookies above.)

There are great DC-sized baking kits available nowadays, so you could get baking tools that DC can use in future years, and a DC sized apron, as ways to get them involved too. Things like wooden spoons, whisk, measuring spoons, small rolling pin etc. We used my existing cookie cutters for adult-sized cookies, but also small play-dough type cutters (well washed before use!) to make DC sized cookies. It may be more fiddly, but DC happily feel they are more involved, those tend to be easier for them to use, and if you will be feeding a few DCs (at home or a crèche event), they are great sized for eating instead of loads of half cookies left squashed into carpets or hair etc ....

Father Christmas brings the stockings (at least he did until DH went mad and bought personalised sacks!) and the present that the DC ask him for - this has been very random over the years.

All the rest of the presents are under the tree, from us.

In our house the elves fill the stockings full of crap

The dc's do a letter to Father Christmas and he picks one or two things from their list and always brings something they want (off the list) something they need something to wear, something to read.

Everything else under the tree is from DH and I or whoever has actually bought the gift.

In our house he is really just a glorified postman.
He brings everything, but it is labelled 'love mum and dad'
The stocking is from him.
She writes him a letter (so I know what to get her)
she has never asked why we do things this way, when she discusses xmas with he friends its just 'what did you get for xmas not 'what did you get from father xmas

The way it worked in our house when I was little, and how I will do it for DS when he's old enough, was that Santa brought stockings full of small presents and if we had been good enough, he would let our parents and family know what we really wanted in our letters and they would get the big presents.

When dd was younger ie up to four, we realised no other family members would spoil her, you hear about generous grannies and aunts etc.
We were also short of cash. So I sourced alot of stuff over the year free or at car boot sales. Two smashes from those years were a snow white costume brought for 50p,at the car boot, she loved that costume and wore it for a months, and he was lion king animal set free from freecyle. I still bulk out with stuff like that but now she is 10 it'd got more pricey ,. We don't really encourage lists too much or not when younger, just been vague about it...

Father Christmas brings lots of gifts and big gifts, we buy a few items... Just in case he does nt come. The thrill and excitement of seeing their faces is enough for me. Now 10 year old is half in, mostly out believing it all seems to be gone in the flash of an eye.
She will have a good forty if not more years of knowing the exact provenance of her gifts I never cast a thought ti her needing to know where they came from at 3,4,5,6,7,etc. Dc have little concept of money... As others have said leave other times for a teaching lesson in a big way and let one day be magical.

In our house Father Christmas brings stocking gifts and possibly 1 more, they know that they can only put 5 or so things on their Christmas letter, and won't get them all from Father Christmas - generally we make sure everything on the list is bought by someone, it's often guided as to what they write. There's always something we can fit in the stocking - even if it needs removing from its packaging.

Op family members give gifts from them so they get that crucial thanks, but maybe it's that Catholic religious education in me that you don't give to receive and you don't let the right hand know what the left is doing!! I have never got this knowing thanks business

Oh and Father Christmas can't bring anything alive. No kittens, puppies, rabbits or fish, so don't ask for them!! The reindeer won't like it!

In our house, FC brings the biggest present, which is wrapped in fancy wrapping and has a name tag written in an unfamiliar handwriting, laid out to the side and opened last. Everything else is from mum and dad.

I made two mistakes.

First, once my daughter asked for a ton of stuff. When I said “I’m not sure kitten that’s very expensive “ she responded happily with “ but it’s from Santa So it’s free!!! ”. I genuinely was unsure what to say as I didn’t want to ruin her belief in Santa and just looked at her blankly. 😳

Secondly we did the whole foot prints in sugar, leaving cookies and milk out, until one year she wouldn’t go to sleep and tearfully told me she “ didn’t want to see him “. As she had a fireplace in her room, she was understandably terrified at the thought of waking up and finding Santa standing in her room. I had to back track fast and say he would only come down the chimney downstairs, but the damage was done and i don’t think she believed me.

So I don’t think I’d change the fact Santa brings everything, they are only little for a short period, but I would ensure I made it clear he didn’t come down the chimney directly into her bedroom 😂

DS writes a letter to Father Christmas and Father Christmas usually brings what he's asked for. It's not normally outrageously expensive. We get him something from us too - depending on budget after Father Christmas had been bought. Father Christmas is sometimes the main thing he gets and sometimes our present is the main thing he gets, depending on what he has asked for. He never really expects anything big from us though.

I wouldn't like to take any of the magic away, as Father Christmas is such a big part of the day for him. We do say to him that he can't ask for too much as Father Christmas has to get presents for all the children. You could easily start a tradition from when they are little where Father Christmas just brings one toy and leaves a few small things in the stocking, and your DC receives their main gift from you.

Sometimes I tell my DS that he is asking Father Christmas for a very big present and it might be better to ask for something smaller or to get that from us for his birthday (Feb). Stocking is filled with small inexpensive things. We all have stockings - Father Christmas often leaves me some chocolate, mini cosmetics and a good handcream.

Other gifts are from family members, we've never done the thing of saying everything is from Father Christmas. There's never any big gift from Father Christmas that he hasn't asked for - any extra surprises come from us. Surprises from FC are limited to the stocking fillers.

He does have his eye on something very expensive at the moment. I pointed out it was a lot of money and he said he'd ask FC for it so it wouldn't cost anything. So now I wish I had limited FC to much smaller gifts over the years as I am going to have to think my way out of this one!

And under no circumstances should you ever wrap any of the FC presents. That is definitely making a rod.

In my family it was always few main presents from parents, a few medium ones from Father Christmas + stocking and family and friends presents too
Some families I know say samta just does stockings because then the kids will know and be more appreciative to the parents

Santa is Amazon, then

In my family FC only brings the stocking, this is because I couldn't bear the thought of a Santa that brought extravagant presents to some children and smaller, cheaper gifts to others.

Everything we buy is from santa. Other people's gifts are from them.

In our house (please don't laugh) dds and dsds write letters to santa in about early December... Santa fills stockings and brings one or two big things from list, mummy and step daddy (though we are older so he has always been called real name) give one big present... I give loads of other things, my dp gives all girls a cheque...

My dexh and his dp come too... They have stockings from santa at our house... Too

As does the dogs and my elderly father.

We still leave mince pie and whiskey for santa (all good to drink and fly here) and carrot for reindeer.. Cut into 9 bits so they all get one... And yes it all gets bitten into other drunk.

Santa still leaves snow shoe prints on the carpet and skid marks from sleigh landing on drive

And we still tell girls ever year that santa does not deliver 'live' presents for fear puppies and kittens would fight and fall of the sleigh.

We all go to Christmas eve panto performance... Still..

Now embarrassing bit... Me and dp are early 50's, dds age between 23 and 18, dexh and his dp are nearly 60, my df is 80...

If I dare suggest anyone is too old for all these traditions I get shouted down

I was very PFB when DD turned 1 in December 2015, got her a personalised present sack. She will just be three this Christmas and this is the first year she actually cares and is excited about Father Christmas and all. So from this year on, elves will leave the Christmas Eve box under the three on the 24th morning and the FC will leave the present sack on 25th with some small gifts, the will be special/big gifts under the tree from me and DH. Somebody last year said on MN that they are working very hard to buy all the presents, so they don't want FC to take ALL the credit about the presents. I think it's fair enough.

But my very best suggestion is, if you can afford it and it is near enough to you start tradition of going to Christmas eve panto. We have been doing it since girls about 4yrs old... There is usually one afternoon performance only and it fills that time when kids going bonkers with excitement.
Near me it is at 4pm, finished at 6:30, when girks were little it took afternoon up... Getting dressed up for a special outing, getting there, buying a programme etc, by tine we got home, a quick sandwich and into bed...
As they got older we'd come home to champagne and slow cooked something...
Then midnight mass for anyone who wanted...
Even now is everyone s fave Christmas tradition