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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

The Santa debate

74 replies

Momsknowbest · 09/10/2017 21:49

My son is 3 (also have a baby under 6mths) and this will be the 1st year that he will actually get into Christmas (already pointing out decorations in shops). I don't want to ruin the excitement of Santa but I feel I can't allow him to think he brought all the gifts aswell. I tried to explain to my partner that I'd like to explain that Santa brings 1 present to all the boys and girls and mummy, daddy and family bring everything else, I also want to sway the gift he asks Santa for to be something inexpensive as he attends school with children who may not get everything they ask for. My partner thinks we shouldn't worry about other children as he works hard for everything we have but id hate after Xmas for him to return with the gift everyone asked Santa for to find out one kid didn't get it.
What do other parents do??
I know christmas isnt just about the gifts but be reassured we have lots of family time and always visit the grandparents,aunts ect leaving gifts at home to play games and eat cold turkey sandwiches and watch the tv specials.

OP posts:

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 10/10/2017 16:34

“Now do you believe that the BFG is real?” he asked. “My lawn has been all messed up.”
Yes. We believed. And still today, I believe in magic, the BFG, Witches, and Fantastic Foxes; but I also know that late that night, my father had used weed killer to make the giant letters on his precious lawn. The idea of his children believing in magic was far more important than the beautiful grass that he tended with great care.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 10/10/2017 16:37

This is naughty Spike, polluting his dc childhood with lies and lies and more lies

It was a privilege to be Spike's daughter. I believed in pixies and fairies - I saw them, that's how real he made them. We would have tea parties and we would all get mini letters on tiny pieces of paper in tiny envelopes from them, made by Dad.

Once, on my birthday, he telephoned me in the middle of my party, pretending to be the fairy king. He told me there was a present wrapped in a rose petal at the bottom of the garden. My friends and I went tearing down there. Inside the rose petal was a golden bird cage with a tiny golden bird inside.

There was a note with it, from the fairies, saying they had been working on it for days. When I stopped believing in Christmas, I got woken up in the early hours by Mum. "Santa is in the garden!" she shouted. And there he was, in the snow, with a beard, a red suit and a sack on his back.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 10/10/2017 17:39

Santa was just the delivery guy here, that way if they got more than their friends they knew it was down to us not some fictional character. It worked well.

dementedpixie · 10/10/2017 17:43

Although Santa brought the presents, he used our money to pay for them. This was used to explain why some kids get more than others

Unihorn · 10/10/2017 17:45

We got everything from Father Christmas but my husband only got one or two things so we're currently in discussions on how to address it. Our daughter will be 13 months though so no urgency on our part yet. I would like to continue all in for Father Christmas personally!

Whisky2014 · 10/10/2017 19:56

I think titty got coal from santa instead of presents!

MrsPworkingmummy · 10/10/2017 20:11

In our home, our DD believes everything she opens on Christmas morning is from Santa. When family visit during the day, she accepts those presents are from the family member who has given it to her. She has never questioned why her dad and I don't buy her gifts . I don't begrudge Santa taking all of the credit - my DD has enough time to realise it was all down to DH and I once she's older.

Imustbemad00 · 10/10/2017 21:06

@titty I'm guessing your parents didn't do Santa

ginsparkles · 10/10/2017 21:08

We do one gift and stocking from Santa. And Santa brings a board game each year as a gift to the family.

TittyGolightly · 10/10/2017 22:34

I'm guessing your parents didn't do Santa

You'd guess wrong.

It was so important to them that the "magic" of santa went on as long as possible that I was forced to keep up the pretence long after I knew it to be untrue for a younger sibling's "benefit". I hated it.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 10/10/2017 23:42

Santa brings all the presents we buy and gifts from others come from them.

Tbh, despite DS generally being the type to ask tricky questions and having previously attended a school where I know some parents are struggling financially, the concept of some children not getting an expensive gift just hadn’t come up. There doesn’t seem ever to have been lots of chat about what classmates did and didnt get.

I’d just do what works for you and don’t overthink it. There’s no right or wrong because so many people do it differently and you just have to deal with the tricky questions when they come. DS asked why we didn’t buy him anything (because a friend gets stockings from Santa and main gifts for parents). There was a moment of feeling aggrieved despite him getting plenty for Christmas!

KC225 · 11/10/2017 07:06

My kids would get main present from Santa. They are 10 now and know we buy the main presents. Stockings come from us and other presents were/are read out by DH from the beneath the Christmas tree.

My friend didn't do Santa other than a visit to a department store. Her reason and I quote 'I work too hard at Christmas for some fat bastard to come in at the last minute and take all the credit'

People do things differently. You are definitely over thinking this, by the time your three year old goes back to nursery he will have forgotten all about what he got for Christmas.

Brittbugs80 · 11/10/2017 07:43

Father Christmas brings one present here plus stocking. The rest he knows comes from us and family.

I have mentioned this before on here but my ex SIL told her girls that FC brings everything. If you are not 100% good, then you don't get everything on your list. Guess whose children get everything?! Its even to the point where gifts I'd given them had the label removed and replaced with a tag saying, "love FC" so no thank you's were ever given. Ironically, they always post pics of their children giving toys to charity shops, wrapping shoeboxes for refugees yet they can be two of the meanest girls I know (one actually unfriended their best friend because she didn't get everything on her Christmas list, so wasn't 100% good so therefore couldn't play in their group anymore)

When DS begins to question FC, I'm going to go with the whole he is everywhere and everyone.

At 3, I'm not sure if he connected FC being the one who brings presents? He has only ever asked for one thing so I've always made that the one thing off FC and wrapped it in different paper and left it in a red sack. He then makes a list of other things he wants and we pick off that and use it for his birthday too which is just after Christmas.

Brittbugs80 · 11/10/2017 07:46

by the time your three year old goes back to nursery he will have forgotten all about what he got for Christmas

Nevermind 3, I've a 9 year old that's like that, or he remembers something totally random. We went on holiday in May, did lots of different things, and what was his favourite part? The one day, they were serving fancy ham for breakfast!

MuddlingThroughLife · 11/10/2017 07:55

Well we've always done everything from Santa in our house. Kids have never questioned why we don't get them anything and gifts from other relatives are from them not Santa.

When the kids were younger and wrote letters to Santa they would be allowed to ask for a maximum of five things and I would warn them that they might not get everything on their list as Santa has to give to all the boys and girls in the world not just them!

They've always had a good amount of pressies but would get super excited about anything they'd specifically asked for and say "he brought it, he remembered".

EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck · 11/10/2017 10:48

Brittbugs my 9yo DD's like that!

"What was your favourite thing about today? "
"The toy I brought with me."

BattleaxeGalactica · 11/10/2017 11:09

Mine are well past Santa age now but they still get stockings from him

Back in the day they had stockings from Santa in the morning and had presents from us/family left at the front door by Santa. Clever thing always managed to time it for the moment the washing up was done and we were all settling down for a glass of port too. Amazing.

MyDcAreMarvel · 11/10/2017 11:19

Santa brings a stocking and a sack of presents. Mum and dad give one gift each just before bed. Dh picks the present from him, I pick all Santas and the present from " mummy"

EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck · 11/10/2017 14:14

*10yo DD. I was tired, and she hasn't been 10 for very long!

MissWilmottsGhost · 11/10/2017 14:39

DD gets a stocking from Santa, but all her other presents have labels on and she is encouraged to thank the person who bought her the gift. She has also helped us choose presents for others in the family.

DM will give her a sackload of presents all 'from Santa'. Shame she doesn't get off her arse and actually visit her only grandchild

I love that photo of the ballerinas titty

boatrace30 · 11/10/2017 14:51

Santa brings he stocking we get the rest. DH was brought up in a family where santa brought everything and I find it a really odd idea that the child would then think their parents hadn't bought them anything.
Plus as PPs have said, santa bringing small gifts is much better for children from poorer smilies who don't get the big presents.

merrygoround51 · 11/10/2017 16:07

I will never understand why some parents feel the need to take 'credit' for Christmas presents.
Why not let them have the magic of Santa now - when they are older they will realise it was you all along!

Threenme · 11/10/2017 16:37

Exactly that merry

boatrace30 · 11/10/2017 21:19

For me it's not about getting the credit, it's about giving and receiving (kids get us presents, we get them presents).
Why is the magic of santa diminished? My stocking was always the most exciting bit of Christmas even if it didn't contain the main present.

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