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Christmas

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Divorced. Just me and the DC Xmas day. What can I do?

66 replies

user1471530109 · 01/10/2017 10:54

New house too. I don't want to travel to family we only end up getting on each others nerves.

I'm not sure I want to spend the day cooking a roast. The DC love a Christmas dinner it just seems a bit of a waste of time and possible money for three of us. The youngest would only eat a v small amount.

Also. I think we all need a bit of a change. I love Christmas. Really love it. But since the separation 3 years ago and now divorce, Christmas is just another lonely day to get through. It seems to exacerbated it all. Very little family.

I've looked at some of the local pubs for going out for Christmas dinner and they are £85 a head! I wouldn't mind but the 4 year old would only eat a saucer full.

I am toying with going away in a hotel for a couple of days. But I think exh would kick off.

So. Any ideas to make Christmas fun for us? It would be just us three all day. I want to look forward to it again this year. Tia.

OP posts:
opheliacat · 01/10/2017 10:56

Blimey, Scrooge! If they'd love a Christmas dinner, do that. Just have turkey sandwiches. Hotels will cost the earth. Skiing could be fun, though.

BitOutOfPractice · 01/10/2017 10:59

I’d buy things for dinner from M&S. small turkey crown etc. Then you’re not cooking all day.

blueskyinmarch · 01/10/2017 11:00

I think you could have a lovely Christmas just the 3 of you. Buy the food they like, there is no need to do a full Christmas dinner. Go for a lovely walk if the weather is nice. Watch Christmas films, eat chocolate and drink hot chocolate (laced with Baileys for you). If you have any religious leanings most churches have a lovely Christmas service on Christmas morning you could attend. Have a cuddly, cosy, relaxing day.

Ninjakittysmells · 01/10/2017 11:02

I think M&S ready prepared stuff may be your friend here! I am a single parent to 1 little boy, so I do feel your pain! I try and throw myself into it as I find otherwise I get maudelin.

We do stockings and chocolate in bed, then down to see if santa has been. Open presents (make sure you have a stocking / gifts for yourself too - Ds was gutted one year as he thought I’d been naughty as santa hadn’t brought me anything) with Christmas tunes on. Shove prepared Christmas dinner in over and drink fizz. Relaxed family meal - let them have a ‘special’ drink (Ds has lemonade mixed with apple juice) and set the table. Then afternoon snoozing on sofa with films / playing with New toys /queens speech. Maybe a walk if we really feel like it.

Do what’s suits YOU and your family, but do it with enthusiasm. It might not be conventional but these are your memories to make Flowers

Xmasfairy86 · 01/10/2017 11:03

If the kids are with you for the day, make it special.

You don’t have to cook a massive dinner, but it’s Xmas! You say they love a xmas dinner. Seems harsh not to! Everything else you’ve mentioned seems like a lot of money for something that won’t necessarily give you the escape —or memories— you want.

liquidrevolution · 01/10/2017 11:06

M and s food in foil packs all the way. If you get a showstopper pud then no one will remember you didnt cook a full bird. I actually usually buy their breast with stuffing and bacon topping (buy now and freeze as they wont be around in december).

Enjoy your lovely day with your DC. Film. Walk. Hot choc. Toys. Bliss.

BewareOfDragons · 01/10/2017 11:07

Who cares if your ExH would kick off? He's your Ex. Unless the DC are in danger, his opinion is irrelevant. Start treating it as such.

Do what you want to do with your DC for Christmas and own it. Make your own fun, even if means simple like an M&S meal, or a cheap hotel getaway somewhere.

AgSiopadoireachtAris · 01/10/2017 11:14

Yes, I agree, buy the food you like, and lots of it, and serve it how you like it. No brussel sprouts!

(Actually I like Brussel Sprouts but that's beside the point)

A hotel is a nice idea too though. IF the room is nice. With a tv, wifi etc... I went away to copenhagen and the room was like a lifer's prison cell and I had 2 kid with me. So check how big the room will be.

endofthelinefinally · 01/10/2017 11:23

We always used to go for a walk at about 5pm, when it was getting dark, and look at all the Christmas lights in other people's windows and gardens.
It is really easy to buy small quantities to do a nice roast dinner.
Soup and sandwiches the next day and lots of TV.

user1471530109 · 01/10/2017 11:28

I love Brussel sprouts too Wink

I love cooking. I know it sounds selfish. We are in a totally new area so I'm hoping the local village pub will be open for a drink in the afternoon (are they? I'm a city girl).

I hadn't considered a m&s affair. That's a good idea actually. I suppose I'm just trying to make up for all the missing stuff I suppose. They normally go to their dads boxing day and he has a big family get together with loads of kids.

They will be with me Christmas Eve too. We do have little traditions and I will be trying to keep those going. But the last two years have been a bit flat. And I just want that feeling back. The excitement I guess. I do very much throw myself into it. I would like to think the DC don't see that I'm a bit down.

Thank you all for your suggestions though. Keep them coming. Aris I have seen a few hotels that look fun. Complete with santa visit. But it would eat into exh's boxing day and it wouldn't really be fair because everything he does is always fair Hmm

OP posts:
Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 01/10/2017 11:36

How old are they, it's tough when very small. Do something unexpected and silly, pinterest is good for silly party games, put some music on and have. Mini party.

You can still have different attractive dining table set up, with basic food! Agree m and s stuff, a treat, don't have to worry about cooking and eating happy medium between expensive eating out.

Any local theatre going on Xmas eve, panto...little shows, any national trust property to visit with santa stuff?

Alanna1 · 01/10/2017 11:39

I would plan for a walk after stockings - we've had some lovely christmas day mornings in the park and they are usually empty, and then a hot chocolate somewhere open (I live in London so quite a few locally-owned cafes open). Then to a relative's house. But if you don't have any relatives, are any of their friends around for christmas and might join you for some park fun mid morning or early afternoon? Then home for an easy christmas lunch then christmas box sets in PJs? That sort of thing!

Temporaryanonymity · 01/10/2017 11:40

Our local pub is only open in the morning.

I am also a single parent so it is usually just the three of us. I just buy whatever food we fancy and hope for no rain so we can get outside for a bit. This year I am planning to buy websuits so we can go for a xmas day dip in the sea.

user1471530109 · 01/10/2017 11:41

That's a fab idea. Surrounded by different national trust properties and theatres! Will definitely have a look as I expect they will book up.

It doesn't help that we are in an 'inbetween' house as I've sold and waiting for the house we are buying to go through. So everything is in boxes! Cooker is tiny and only a single one. Fridge is miniscule! Maybe a show and going out for dinner Christmas Eve is an option?

Any ideas for me to not get drunk on my own boxing day? Blush. I hate the sales. I expect it will be Netflix and booze and lots of cheese. Actually. That's sounds good.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 01/10/2017 11:47

Local amateur pantos are usually great fun.

Rainybo · 01/10/2017 11:51

Your Boxing Day plan sounds perfect for yourself! When it’s just me I tend to try and balance the booze and cheese and internetting flump with a lovely long bath, new book, a posh bath bomb, maybe a face mask, some music so I don’t feel the quiet so much.

As for Christmas Day, you’ll do a good job for your DC you know. It’s not any less of a thing than what your ex will be providing. I agree with M&S all the way and be kind to yourself.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 01/10/2017 11:51

What my dsis did after excising the human wart that was bil, was think of all the things he insisted on-but she hated- and not do them! (Obviously did things kids loved)
Boxing Day-have you a craft you always wanted to learn? Get yourself the basics, YouTube and have a child free day doing that. I'd go for Netflix wine and cheese though

rizlett · 01/10/2017 11:52

I used to cook Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve so I could have more time with the dc on the actual day - we'd then have room on Christmas Day for a full english with turkey sarnies for tea.

millifiori · 01/10/2017 11:53

I'd set up a few traditions that are easy to do which you and DC associate with having an amazing Christmas.
Maybe a panto or cinema visit and dinne rout on Christmas Eve. Then home to hang stockings and read a Christmas story and have spicy bubble baths.

Cook at home - get a naice organic chicken if turkey is too much and the rest prepared by M&S.
Get DC to help choose a Christmassy DVD and Christmas CD of music, and let them choose whatever they want for breakfast (my DC have PopTarts (ew). Get a good board game or silly party game (that catching butterflies from an elephant's trunk one is great if they're small.) Then have a brilliant time together. Go for a drink or to a church service if you fancy a bit of socialising on the day.

Myblanket · 01/10/2017 11:53

Last year it was only me and my 2 yr old spending xmas together I didn't want to go to family either it would just be stressful! We had xmas songs on in the morning and opened presents, I still did a Xmas dinner an it was only me and a 2 year old Smile I just got one of those small turkeys in the foiled tray.

We spent the day watching xmas films and putting toys together! It really wasn't that bad

sashh · 01/10/2017 12:00

You can do whatever you and the children want to do. Depending where you live you might be able to get a take away delivered.

Would the kids like pizza or curry? Or pancakes, simple and fun. A picnic in front of the TV?

Do a roast, not turkey, beef or lamb, meat in slow cooker, veg prepped Xmas eve makes it not a huge deal?

Start the day with a glass of bubbly and smoked salmon while the kids open presents.

Have a dance off with the kids to Xmas music, make lunch, pig out on snacks for the rest of the day.

Have some fireworks.

Boxing day take yourself of to the cinema, have candles and sine in and take the long bath you can only do uninterrupted without children around.

Have a couple of presents to yourself, I'd go for a book or magazines and maybe some nail polish. Just treat yourself.

SmashyCup · 01/10/2017 12:01

Don't go to a pub or hotel at Christmas, people who do that deprive the poor staff who work there the chance of a proper Christmas with their own families. Obviously emergency services have to be available over Christmas but for hospitality staff this is completely avoidable if others weren't so selfish that they demand people wait on them on Christmas day! As others have said you can get a simple Christmas dinner from M&S or similar that is easy to prepare.

SkintAsASkintThing · 01/10/2017 12:04

My sister went to Butlins for.Christmas one year......similar circumstances to you. They absolutely loved it, it was.the best Christmas they ever had !! They were off swimming instead of staring at each other.bored at 3pm.

I think centre parks do similar.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 01/10/2017 12:29

Show and Xmas eve dinner sounds wonderful and there should be OK real buzz around you.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 01/10/2017 12:38

Confused smash I have worked Xmas day as have some family members chef s
It's actually quite nice!! Get extra pay and great vibe when I was younger I didn't mind it, you can't tell op to stay away for this reasons!

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