sick of buying toys that don't get looked at twice, anyone else?

[rockshandy]

I don't know what it is with my kids. We spend around £300 on them each at Christmas, and that is because we tend to not really spend money on toys throughout the year.

But it feels like they don't have as many toys as other children, and when I try to figure out what they play with I draw a blank. Toys they are bought end up with pieces missing/dolls lose their clothes/games are broken.

They are 5 and 8 so not babies either.

We are thinking of this Christmas now and everything I look at I just think what a waste of money because it won't make it past January.

DD2 is better at keeping her stuff nice and tidying up after herself but DD1 is the messiest person I know and there is a lot of stress centred around losing things/messy rooms/being disorganised. She has never been one for playing with toys or independently amusing herself.

Does anyone else find this? How do you manage it? What kind of toys do you find last the longest? So far the only things in this house that have worked is playdoh and colouring stuff.

I haven't rtft OP but toys are frustrating.

When dd was that age a dolls house was a huge hit. £10 from a summer fayre. Played with it for about 3 years. She was never into games consoles but loved a tv/dvd player in her room for rainy afternoons. Her scooter was very well used. And play make up/dressing up stuff.

Ds is 4 in December. I have just been to our local charity shop and we bought Gooey Louie for £2.99. Still in the box with instructions and a full complement of boggies. For £2.99 both he and I are happy. For the £20 it would have cost new I would be gutted.

I would try and look at experiences. And buy 2nd hand/charity shop for the endless crap they request. We could have got a little people castle for £8.99, a Peppa pig castle for the same price. A doc mcstuffins thing for £9.99 or a little tykes kitchen for £9.99.

Your girls might be a bit old for that sort of stuff but they have scooters and bikes over there for less than £10.

What about bedroom stuff for them? So new quilt cover, lamp, cushions and toy storage in their favourite characters along with a toy that matches? Might encourage your eldest dd to look after her stuff.

£300 is a huge amount to spend, I used to spend around £100-£150 when mine were small but soon realised that it was way too much and things just didn't get played with. I think it's best to just buy them one thing they really want, something to wear, something to read and something to eat. My dd's are now 11 and 13 and I haven't got a clue what to buy them as they don't need or want anything.

As others have said experiences would be better - maybe buy different vouchers e.g. January bowling February cinema March day out in London etc. Maybe magazine subscriptions? Then wrap up things they need like clothes, toiletries. What about a kindle fire with some books on it? Mine are now 9&7 and don't really play with toys.

I feel your pain OP. However, I have always been ruthless at giving away/selling on unused/unwanted toys. My kids are the same age as yours and they are both now on board as I give them (some of) the proceeds of the sale. Eg we had a fair bit of Playmobil that had been given for birthdays/Christmas. They hardly ever played with it so it was in perfect condition. We or rather Ichecked all the bits were there, boxed it up and sold it on. Proceeds were divvied up and put in money boxes!

I do tend to spend too much on their Christmas presents BUT try very hard to buy only things that are nice quality and will go down well. I also buy good quality craft kits as they can be kept and used throughout the year, for rainy day activities or playdates etc, and lots of books as part of their stockings. Board games too - this year it's Monopoly and Labyrinth.

This year I am thinking of getting them roller skates/blades and accessories as the main present so it's more an 'outside' gift and can be stored in the garage. They are also getting a waffle maker - which is also a 'useful and benefits the whole family' gift rather than more toys.

They like clothes too so stockings also include a dress or outfit, undies, maybe PJs if needed. This year they both want ankle boots with diamond/sequins so I've said they can have a pair and keep them for weekend use/parties etc rather than wear for school.

I should add some of these gifts will be bought on behalf of relatives or suggested ideas for gifts. It does look a lot written down

We do:

Something you want,
Something you need,
Something to wear,
And, something to read.

Plus stocking and one gift from Father Christmas.

Toy rotation so not everything is out. Our doll's house is out now, for example, so Noah and his animals are away.

DC are 5 and 3.

These responses are so helpful! 😉. I feel your pain OP....my DD does a lot of not playing with quite a lot of her toys. My parents don't help very much either because they " go large" on the plastic type stuff that I try to be restrictive about. I'm not even sure that the types of things that my DD5 does play with will necessarily help but here goes 1) books - although I do buy books through out the year at Christmas I like some special ones. I work near the Tate Britain and enjoy looking at their children's selection and buy 2 or 3 special ones. ( we use the library too). All books are treasured in this house. 2) Craft - my DD really enjoys colouring and painting so we have splurged on lovely pens and pencils because they do get used. Last Christmas I turned DD.s old baby box into a craft box. I decorated the outside with bright star decals and Pom poms and filled in with fun crafty bits. She's had fun this morning scatter glitter everywhere and is now making me a card. 3) Music - she is a big fan of performers like Beyoncé and Little Mix for which I completely blame my sister. We bought a CD player for her room and she has the massive total of 3 CDs but will get one for Christmas this year. Tiger sell little hand held disco lights which have been a great success so I might spring for a slightly bigger one as she likes playing " discos" and practising her Beyoncé moves in her room She also has a keyboard and drum machine thingy but honestly only plays with them when she has friends over. ( she had asked for a set of drums) 4 Outside toys - over the years we've had sandpits and ride on cars etc. We now have a nice swing and a tee pee which comes out in the summer. Swing ball has been a moderate success. The scooter has been used a lot and she is due to upgrade to the next model but has actually asked for a skateboard which I'm very dubious about. ( I'm thinking this may go the way of the drum machine). We will probably get it though and ask a grandparent to get the scooter. 5) clothes - this is considered cheating in my family since I would be buying this stuff anyway but it's not like I'm buying school uniform. I always go up a notch and buy stuff a bit nicer than normal. There's usually a few pairs of PJs, cute slippers. Etc. Last year I bought a couple of T shirts from the Tate that were expensive but I really liked....I just go oversized so we get plenty of wear out of them. This year apart from the skateboard she'll probably get a camera because she enjoyed using ours on holiday and it would be fun if we all went out with them.
Phew! Sorry hadn't realised I'd written so much!

think about what they'd really like or get use out of and stick to that.

Hmmm. I suppose the reason I thought you might not do that was from your thread title.
sick of buying toys that don't get looked at twice
It implied you bought things that only got played with/used once.

£300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've recovered now!

Buy one decent present then little bits of nonsense. My DDs loved these things that turned up every year - a little fan, some water flowers, chemical tree etc. If it's a boy, then maybe those little eggs that dissolve to produce a dinosaur etc.

Keep your card in your pocket and do not waste your money on unplayedwith toys.

Oh - and do not let them watch children's TV with ads - it just feeds the idea that the latest toy is a necessity rather than a frippery.

The shock at £300 must be a mumsnet thing. Honestly it really must be.

All the kids I know have bedrooms filled with toys. Expensive ones too. Sylvanian families, huge dolls houses, lego/playmobile, all those little collectables like tsum tsums and num noms. My kids are neglected in comparison.

If I spent £25 a month on each of them throughout the year I doubt any of you would bat an eyelid. But we don't do that. They get toys at Christmas, clothes at the start of each new season if they have grown, and they each have a budget of £100 for birthdays which they can choose if they want a party/family day out or presents.

If I can afford to, why wouldn't I? They are not spoiled. They hear no a lot. It is largely the lack of playing that is an issue. I am not really sure what they are actually doing with their time, because the TV isn't always on.

In any case, I think that some dolls house furniture will go on DD2s list as she has DD1s old dolls house in her room. It was a £30 asda job and has stood the test of time.

Other than that, the open ended toys is the way to go I think. The craft box idea is great.

They already have bikes/scooters/tablets/CD players etc. We don't have room here for more than a trampoline in the garden. We tried skateboards/heelys but DD1 is clumsy and lacks patience so that was a dead end.

DD2 could probably do with a scooter upgrade so that is worth considering.

I have no issue with second hand or charity shops but the ones around here aren't very good and I don't have the time to be in them often.

It's not a mn thing all my friends probably are on £150k plus minimum and none of them spend £300 on Xmas presents each and neither do they spend £25 on toys per month. However expenditure on extra curricular, music lessons, holidays is high.
Buying tonnes of stuff at Xmas us a very working class thing, quantity over quality

Also 'if I can afford to, why not', well because it was you that started the thread saying they didn't play with the toys🙄🙄
thats surely reason not to continue as you have been🤔

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read

I find is a very good rule

Absolutely agree with this. Did this last year, the present pile was small compared to previous years, however the things we got are still played with. I even asked family to get DS Smyth's vouchers as there was a big Lego set he wanted it and this went towards it.

Something you want was his present off Father Christmas

Something you need was felts, notepads and pens (he does a lot of writing and making books)

Something to wear was PJ's and long sleeve tops

Something to read was an annual, Guinness world records book and some other books he asked for.

He then got a few extra surprises such as dvds and Lego sets but we spent about £250 less and he took more notice of things.

Op ... my 2 are adult now but when they were little we use to have the same problem,

Every November I use to get them a Argos catalog each and let them circle whatever they liked.
We would then take all unwanted toys they owned to the charity shop.
I always spent what we could afford and didn’t and still don’t care what anyone else thinks.
They got a main present, a gift card for cinema or zoo or such like.
Fancy dress outfits.
And other craft , bits and bobs.
We use to do a joint trip to the toy shop to ick a board game to play after Xmas dinner.
We also did stockings and main present in the morning and everything else after dinner.
So they had plenty of time to play with each individual item.

It never gets played with because today, there's just too much choice and it's not restricted to children either (in my opinion anyway)

Too many toys to decide what to play with. You could start sifting out the toys and selling them on eBay. Give the money to the children or put it in their banks.

Same as adults, I decide to watch something on TV and there's too much choice. Right now, I've a Netflix list as long as my arm and I'm watching Gilmore Girls for the umpteenth time because I can't decide!

Op ... my 2 are adult now

Every November I use to get them a Argos catalog each and let them circle whatever they liked

My Mom used to do this, that's how we knew Christmas was coming! Did the Argos book only have toys in the Winter edition?

I really understand you enjoy spending a lot on your children, and I am always a bit suspicious that people who overly boast about spending very little actually buy their children bits all year round.

But I did wonder if you might find it better to buy stuff more frequently as what they need developmentally changes a lot in a year, and their interest change. My son has a Christmas birthday so he gets a few vouchers and it's really nice if he spots something in June that he can use a voucher. He also gets a little bit of cash in a jam jar that he can buy tat with if we go somewhere with a gift shop. My sister in law bought 12 books and they get to open one each month

How incredibly sneery of you 2014
Most people that I know, including myself, see extra curricular activities and holidays as a normal family expense and also enjoy treating their kids at Christmas.
I'm sure though that it's a great solace to your wonderful middle class high earning friends kids when they have an orange and a wooden toy to open on Xmas day that only pesky peasants receive lots of presents from santa

Whatever happened to a stocking filled with colouring books, pens, quirky little bits for school, chocs, skipping ropes etc. And one main gift why go mad? £300 is excessive that's £50 short of my entire spend for everyone and we all have a magical time and enjoy our gifts.

I think the £600 would be better spent on a ovely holiday, & let them play with lasts years presents

For the same reason that some people holiday in Exotic locations and some people holiday in a caravan in Cleethorpes. No one is saying that that one is more fun than the other. We probably spend £300 per person ( 2 adults and 1 child) but as far as extended family goes we only buy for children not adults. My sister spends an equal amount on my DN so for us that's quite normal. ( I don't feel the need to discuss this with anyone outside this forum). My friend who earns twice as much as me probably spends half that amount but she will buy her DD a toy most weeks, even if she's just popping into the supermarket ( pester power) and thinks nothing of going to the cinema on a Saturday morning and a theme park in the afternoon which I always think is entertainment overload. So overall I think my DD is lucky not spoiled. I think the OP was looking for some advice regarding the best value presents ( cost per play) rather than a critique of her spending habits and capabilities.

I would love to see what you all get your kids on the day. I have seen the mountains of presents on facebook, I know what you are all imagining but that just isn't what our house looks like on xmas morning.

I am not offended at being considered working class. :o

Round here there are posh people and then everyone else. Class isn't really an issue here, we have plenty of issues, just not class. Maybe areas are deemed working class or whatever but people rarely are categorised like that.

£600 wouldn't go far towards a holiday for 4 people.

We have a magical time too :) and the kids do enjoy all their gifts, they do play with them, they do appreciate them, its just the longevity that is lacking but if I direct my spends towards some of the ideas here I can improve that.

@XiCi there's a middle ground between an orange and £300 of thingsthat don't get played with my love. The op would perhaps be considering a shift to the middle ground rather than a load of argos. But she's clarified that she isn't and wants to carry on as she is. Great news for the plastic industry!

I tell you what is expensive: range rovers, tennis club membership, riding lessons, skiing holidays, tutors for the 11+, Dubarry Boots, weekly blow dries, spray tans and nail wraps, Mulberry bags, Jimmy Choo shoes, second homes in Cotswolds/ Cornwall! You can obviously insert your own particular brands and preferences into that list ( maybe an all inclusive holiday in a Sandals resort anyone). It's all expenditure that many of us don't particularly see as essential but seems to be pretty popular. I bet the OP doesn't go on about people buying Charlotte Tilsbury lipsticks. There do seem to be quite a few people I know with children with iPhones/ IPads/ flat screen TVs and games consoles.... I'd really like to know how they manage it without breaking the taste / class barriers?

Mine are younger but dd1 doesn't play with toys like I thought a 4yo would iyswim? She likes to be in the game so she's dressing up and using a ladle as a microphone etc. Unfortunately there's a limit to how much you can buy on that theme!

I think we are going to get her the vtech camera this year because she loves photos. I think pp are right in saying stuff like lego that can be used in different ways is better rather than a single toy that does one thing.