Family time over Christmas

[sjd84]

Myself, my DH and DS (4), have had Christmas on our own the last two years. We want to start our own traditions as a family and not have the stress of catering for larger numbers. I am also likely to be working at some point over the 4 day weekend so don't really want to travel too much. I know however that my parents will guilt trip me as they have done for the last two years, I'm just wondering how to manage this or if anyone else struggles juggling family over Christmas?

oh yes - so many of us struggle! Already so many posts on visits over xmas.

its a really tricky one, thinking about dh and I sat alone at xmas whilst neither child wants to be with us is hard! Of course your family want you there..however its so hard and I totally get if you dont feel totally happy with them at xmas that you want to be alone.
I would suggest a compromise, see them xmas eve or boxing day or new years eve ?

DH family are so miserable at xmas, it ruins xmas such a dampner.

Invite your parents over one evening say 7pm onwards for a couple of hours and do a little buffet... small on scale but should give them, and you enough family time.

Or maybe even just an evening of some board games / games and crisps and wine.. nothing too big.

Or an evening or afternoon at the panto together?

Glad I'm not the only one.

We have been to centre Parcs winter wonderland with my mum and dad every year since DS has been born, and we are starting the panto tradition this year. I think we will do the new years weekend this year, as me and DH will only have two days together due to work!

I love Christmas, but this part of it always stresses me out!

are they nice to be around though? do they dominate, make you feel miserable, suck the joy out> not that it matters do what you want.

I remember one year a poor poster said she had to spend with her parents who didnt talk much, didnt like xmas telly, didnt like to play games...sat there miserable!! sounded bloody awful and they winced when her small son made a noise.

just try and come up with a different compromise.

They are nice to be around I love them to pieces, but we are definitely more relaxed when it's just the three of us. My family like things done a certain way, and have traditions from when I was little, but me and DH want to start our own traditions.

YES its tricky when people are in flexible like that. I would just say that then and say this year you would like to be alone and arrange another date with them to have a second xmas.

We used to try and see everyone Christmas day. It wasn't fair on the kids or us and was exhausting. We now visit in-laws Christmas eve (25 miles away). We have dinner at home then visit my family at tea time (2 minutes in the car!). Much better and more relaxed 🎗

I love Christmas but it doesn't feel like a holiday when you have to juggle visits to all the families.
Would you consider hosting? It's not a solution for everyone but I find it a good compromise. My traditions in my house but time with family as well.

We rotate. One year we drive to my parents Christmas morning (90 miles) for 2 nights, one year we fly over to Europe to my in laws for 3/4 nights and one year we host at ours. It is stressful sometimes, especially as the families get bigger each year, but Christmas is about family for me.