So........how do we break the news to DS1?

[SpanishFly]

I have said for years that I would never EVER sit down my kids and tell them the truth about Santa, as I wouldnt be the one to burst their bubble, and they'd manage to work it out on their own - just as I did as a child.

However my DS1 aged 12 is now at secondary school, and I'm not convinced he knows for sure. He has Aspergers, and I'm not sure if he'd definitely work it out for himself. I know that most kids that age know the truth, and so I'm just a bit concerned that he'd get slated and be mortified at school if we leave things as they are.

Any tips on what we should do?
Sit him down and tell him?
Assume he knows and leave him to it (worrying about him being picked on at school)?
Double bluff it, and talk to him as if we KNOW that he knows the truth and get him in on the act and keeping the magic alive for DS2 in December?

It's so hard to know what to do.

Aw don't say Santa Well you've just broken my heart! That's the cutest thing! Poor little lad.

He'll be fine, especially if he can help out making the magic for others.

You did the right thing, OP. (((hugs))) It's no fair, but you did.

JW I'm at home myself this evening, and I've shed more than a few tears over it all. I'm so gutted I've stamped on his buzz. I just feel really guilty. 😔

Oh no, I'm so sorry!

If it's any consolation, and I know it's not, I'm certain it hurts you far more than it hurts him. And you certainly saved him a great deal of pain being found out and being that kid at school. That would have been far worse, I think. Kids that age can be monstrous to each other as it's how they establish their place in the pecking order and all that drama.

Plus, him saying "don't say Santa" (oh the little sweetheart!) tells me that he probably already had at least some suspicion. You did it as gently as you could have and at a perfect time.

Though none of that makes it any more fun for you. This is a milestone that means he's growing up. That's something that never gets easier.

Have a rest and do something for you tonight!

Thanks you - that honestly did make me feel a lot better. You're right, he'd be that kid for the rest of his days, and that would have been awful.

And I think he seemed fine afterwards so I'm sure I do feel worse.

🍷

If you had another christmas I was going to suggest the way I found out. My mum was verrry tipsy when leaving the presents at the end of the bed. She didnt notice I was wide awake and reading

You could do the keeping the magic alive by buying a small present for another child. Local hospitals often do list of gender and age and you can choose one. Alternatively do a Chrismas box for a shoebox collection? I do the Womens refuge shoebox appeal and we are always looking for children's boxes.

Oh what a dreadful way to find out 😣😣

Yes I'm trying to think of various things to keep the magic alive. We give our preloved toys to the women's refuge so I'll call them nearer the time to arrange something like a shoebox or a couple of gifts for kids.

I'm also trying to think of new traditions to start now he's older, to make sure he doesn't feel less important than his little brother. X

I must be the worst mother

I told them all when they got to 7!

Sorry he was sad Spanishfly. I had to tell my oldest before he started secondary school, and he looked like a kicked puppy for days 😩

He was fine eventually though, and still loves Christmas even though he's thirty 😉

My youngest is diagnosed with ASD (and I suspect my oldest has it too, hence the innocence), and I told him as he was about to start secondary school, and he was outraged that I had told lies 😆

DS1 has Aspergers we assumed he knew as he always did a little laugh when talking about Santa. So we asked him 4 days before Christmas of his final year at primary if he wanted to help be Santa for his little brothers that year.
He cried all afternoon, he had just laughed to copy his friends who didn't believe in Santa...
Now though he is a godsend helping me wrap presents and that afternoon is something we laugh about together.