Please help me plan for Christmas when I don't know what's happening!

[Purplemac]

DH and I are adopting, and there is a small chance we will be matched and introductions starting by October/November so we could well have a small person with us this Christmas. On the other hand, we might not. We will have my DSD with us on Christmas Eve and until noon on Christmas Day when her mum will collect her.

We usually spend Christmas with my family, but I am encouraging my parents to have a Christmas just the two of them this year (as they have never had one - moved in together the day after their wedding day in January, their first child came along in the November, and we've all kept coming back ever since!) and they really want to have a quiet one. Last year we had MIL with us and DSD all day and my parents round for drinks in the evening.

So, in the afternoon and evening it will be just DH and I (or DH and I and a child!). I cooked a huge Christmas Dinner last year and it took quite a bit of effort, although lots of it was pre-prepared and just thrown in the oven. I massively overdid it, there was too much food, no one ate it! I'm not particularly attached to having turkey at Christmas - it's what we have always done but I think I'd be quite happy to splurge on a really good steak instead. But then what to have with it?

And what shall we do? DH isn't an overly Christmassy person, so curling up and watching films together wouldn't work - although he might compromise on watching It's A Wonderful Life if we follow it up with Die Hard. We have a dog and some lakes nearby which we could always walk around together after dinner, but it doesn't really sound special enough for Christmas?

My worry is that my mum and dad always made Christmas such a magical special time, and last year when it was my first Christmas not with them (DH and I have been going to them for years), it just didn't feel "right". My DH isn't a miserable git, I promise, he's just not really into it. The only thing that made it special was having my DSD there and she won't be there this year . I don't want this Christmas to be just like any other day. Ideally I'd book us in at a nice hotel, go away for a few nights - but all the Christmas packages start from Christmas Eve, when we can't go as we have DSD, and I don't want to spend a fortune on something I then have to cancel on the off-chance we do get a child placed with us, as we would need to book now.

Please help me come up with a nice romantic lovely Christmas Day for two that will be special?

In your position, I would wait and see what happens about the adoption before planning too much. Although, if you do have a child with you in Autumn, you could persuade DH to get into the spirit for the child's sake. You don't have to go overboard.

I suggest you consider the things that your parents do and do them in a more restrained way as a compromise, the deal is that if you do have a child with you he should make a bit more effort then.

Regarding food, we have always had a roast chicken, we enjoy the leftovers and it is so much cheaper than turkey which DH doesn't really like. A child might like chicken better too. Don't try to do too many items for two or three people. When you know it will be just the two of you, steak would be fine. Potato Dauphinoise is a luxurious side that can be baked in the oven, and you can have some easy vegetables with it. Don't bother with a pudding unless you really want one. Then later on you can have a buffet type supper.