How do we spin this for the dc?

[GoodyGoodyGumdrops]

Just opened a Christmas card from the ILs, and it contains a note saying that they've given a donation to a children's charity instead of sending their (only) dgc presents.

I have no objection, the dc get too much loads anyway, but surely such a thing shouldn't be sprung on people? Dh thinks it's a PA thing, as his relationship with them has gone pear-shaped this year.

I want there to be a way back from this. I want the dc not to feel rejected by it. The ILs are cross with dh, and our dc are, effectively, being punished for it.

So what do I say to the dc? Youngest is 10.

Dh is right, that is horrible of them

I'd not say anything to them or dcs about it , just enjoy your day and if dh wants to let him

Do you think they'll notice in the midst of the presents they'll have from other family? If not then just don't mention it.

If they do ask tell them the truth but in a positive, breezy way and quickly move on to something else.

I wouldn't spin it. Just tell the truth.

I wouldn't mention it, unless they ask. Then tell the truth. At 10+ it's a harsh lesson, but there is no point in disguising it.

It's is very mean of the grandparents though.

Just tell the truth. At 10 I'd expect them to understand that sometimes it's nice to help others. If the dc want to hold it against their gp and you believe it was done passive aggressively then let them?

I would maybe explain to the dcs what the gift means to those who will receive it and spin it positively "how kind of GPS to help the children who won't get any presents"

And I'd call GPS and be utterly gushing about what they did and how excellent and idea you all thought it was and thank you for starting a new tradition.

whilst inside still feeling like I would too that this was a pa thing

I find it very difficult to accept the the loss of a chunk of family.

I wouldn't mention it. If DC ask I would say "Grandparents sent a card" and leave it at that.

And I'd call GPS and be utterly gushing about what they did and how excellent and idea you all thought it was and thank you for starting a new tradition.

this

My youngest is 10. We don't have any grandparents but if their Aunt did this I doubt it would bother them. I would tell them the truth and let them make what they want of it.

It's a bit of a shitty thing to suddenly spring on you but at least they did let you know, albeit very late.
My in laws suddenly stopped with presents 3 years ago (christmas and birthday). To this day we have no idea why as all their other children and grandchildren receive things