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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

What do you find "stressful" about Christmas?

39 replies

museumum · 15/12/2016 18:42

I keep hearing about how stressful Christmas is. Particularly for women. I feel very fortunate to be looking forward to Christmas and understand many are not (bereavement, relationship breakdown and financial hardship) but aside from those things, what do you find most stressful and how could we all make it less stressful for ourselves and each other?

OP posts:
salsamad · 15/12/2016 21:43

Without doubt the food shopping - having to be at Tesco two or three days before Xmas day very early (7am ish) and it's still mad busy. Worrying you've got everything as you leave.
Then trying to get off the car park at 9am and it's a total bun fight for parking spaces. There was 2 people 'arguing' over the space I was trying to leave last year and I couldn't get out because there wasn't enough space and neither would give way!!

SilverMachine · 15/12/2016 21:44

For me, Christmas organisation takes up more time than I actually have and I struggle to fit in the list writing, shopping, cleaning, wrapping, cooking, card writing etc.

I also think I stress myself out by trying to achieve the unattainable "perfect" Christmas. I constantly worry that what I have done isn't good enough somehow.

We also have family staying with us which does mean extra work and less time to relax. I usually book a few days off work after Christmas to enjoy some alone time!

thenewaveragebear1983 · 15/12/2016 21:55

The mess. The general life duties in amongst the festivities. The money, the shopping and the cooking don't faze me but the piles of stuff everywhere and having to entertain people in amongst the chaos does.

gincamelbak · 15/12/2016 21:57

Having to spend time in close proximity to my mother. And then having to spend a lot of time in close proximity to my in laws.

MsHybridFanGirl · 15/12/2016 22:02

School - Xmas fair, Xmas cards, dinner, Xmas jumper day, presents for staff, money for several Xmas related things throughout December, raffle / tombola tickets

DD hobby - Xmas show (six two hour performances, dress rehearsal, Xmas party, Xmas presents for coaches and friends, raffle tickets, tombola

Usual - cards, presents, spending, organising

All the whilst usual life of work plus looking after a chronically sick child as a single parent

SimplyNigella · 15/12/2016 22:07

Our house actually did get broken into last week, plenty taken but thankfully no Christmas presents. Still so much to sort out with the insurers, repairs to the alarm system, glazing and locks replaced etc.

That said, I am less stressed this year as we don't have overnight guests and we aren't travelling, which is where the stress comes from for me.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/12/2016 22:10

Oh nigella so sorry to hear that! Was it while you were out or in bed?

barricades doors and windows

phoenix1973 · 15/12/2016 22:11

Clutter.
Extra stuff and cupboards bursting at the seams. Don't even need it. Probably last into February.
The extra costs. Not just presents. Child's Xmas jumper day, xmas party dress, party shoes, events during the school holidays. It all adds up.
The rushing on xmas day because in laws are coming....I just want to sit and watch my child enjoy their presents then slob about together watching Christmassy films.
I hate it when they all want to open presents together yet it's interrupted because the fucking dinner needs basting or some such shite.
I just want to sit still with drinks and watch and join in with the present unwrapping.
My question is, why doesn't sil do Christmas just once? She's got no kids, her own home and is in her 40's. How come she's escaped adulting?
I've asked partner and he just says dunno.....
Now I don't do the cooking anymore, I actually got excited when partner said let's ski over Christmas just because it meant breaking the chain which has become entrenched over 20 years....it felt good to have a possible rebellion on our hands.
Sadly this was not to be and the pattern must continue.
His parents and sister are good folk, it's ok for me to question why we always have to do Christmas.
I hate the way the shops are packed for most of December. It's stressful.
I hate being watched while I open my present as. I'm tired of faking disappointment that my own family don't know me well enough to get me something more personal than a random perfume gift set. I wouldn't mind, but they do not ask for ideas and such a gift cost a bomb.

trixymalixy · 15/12/2016 22:12

Jen, I worry about being burgled too. Last year there were loads of burglaries near us in the run up to Xmas.

KitNeutron · 15/12/2016 22:18

Nothing from a feminist point of view, because I'm not a martyr and my husband isn't a neanderthal, we don't have things that are "my responsibility", either through me feeling the need to or him leaving it to me.

I find my sibling's partner stressful, because they happen to be an arsehole and my sibling is noticeably on edge for the duration of the visit.

After a few years with at least one person being ill on the day itself I get a bit anxious about that, and how it could potentially change plans.

The expense, although I don't go mad and buy loads of unnecessary stuff, it's obviously a more expensive time than usual and we are on a low income.

Dh working, he doesn't get time off for Christmas. The kids and I obviously miss him when he's not here, and sometimes the logistics can be tricky, managing to squeeze in a visit to his family for example.

We save a lot of stress by having too many children and not enough room for people to be able to stay, not really bothering with cards, and shopping throughout the year so all the expense doesn't come at once. Also it helps that we bloody love Christmas so generally it's something to look forward to than dread!

SimplyNigella · 15/12/2016 22:27

Thanks Jen, we were out thankfully but we have a monitored alarm system so knew within minutes that there had been a break in and it meant that they didn't hang around.

I hadn't wrapped any of the presents yet and as most of them are toys for a 3 year old they didn't look very stealable. Had I have wrapped them I think they would have taken the lot.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/12/2016 22:35

Still very unsettling for you though, I'm sure. At least you haven't got to start from scratch for you child. I've got mine hidden in a laundry bag on top of my wardrobe. Will leave it as late as possible to put them by the tree and leave the lights on all night. For santa of course Wink

SimplyNigella · 15/12/2016 22:37

Love the laundry bag idea!

roseteapot101 · 15/12/2016 22:58

Relatives they have the right intentions but are so negative and nit picky its so draining and on christmas it reminds me of what i have lost.For me when my mother was alive christmas was fun full of life she made any party happy.My mother in law to be so negative its emotionally draining and stressful .That and shes so stingy,She once cooked a duck crown for 6 people.I would offer to buy food and cook but she wont let me.

Thankfully her son my partner does not like spending to much time with them either so we wont stay for long

My family are travelling up to stay with them i'm packing wine

Packing not really stressful for me when you go camping a weekend with family nothing in comparison lol

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