Would you tell dp?

[ItchyFoot]

So dp and I are really skint this year so we said no presents for anyone but our dd's. Our family is ok with this and we're not getting each other anything. Except now I've just ordered dp something.
He's had such a stressful year and has been working hard to set up a business to help better our lives so I've ordered him a game on my mum's very account so I can pay it off over 3 months.
But now I'm worried he'll feel guilty on Christmas day when he's got something and I don't. We will be going to my mum's on the day and I'll have stuff there to open. Would you tell dp if you were me?

Yes.

Yes, so he could get you something small to open. I wouldn't tell him what you've bought though.

Ok thanks. I'll have to wait a few days now or he might guess what it is cos I mentioned the game earlier.

If you're really skint to the point that you're agreed that you are not buying anybody any presents - so skint that you're having to pay a £30-£40 game off over several months - then I don't think a gift on tick is going to do anything good for his stress levels.

Id feel awful if my partner got me something and I didn't get him anything. I know you mean well but that will make him feel like crap

Yes, definitely tell him. But are you sure you want to give it to him, and he'll be happy to receive it? Could you tell him you've changed your mind and it would be nice to open something tiny each, then get him a book or some nice shower gel or something? There's clear blue water between not buying anything at all, and getting something that will take months to pay off.

Will he be getting anything when you're at your Mum's, or just you?

I could pay it off right now it just eases the pressure to pay £20 for the next few months. He'll be getting stuff at my mum's

Honestly - if £20 a month eases the pressure, I'd stick to the original agreement and get him a selection box or a book or some socks if you want him to have a gift to open from you.

Yes.

I agree with Chic I think knowing you've both stick to the agreement and haven't spent anything will make him feel much happier than the game. Surely you'll feel better without the pressure too?

Plus it might go in the sale after Christmas.

Yes I would tell him. You don't necessarily need to say what it is but I would give him an indication of price too.