Too busy & tired for Christmas

[Paffle]

I've had a mad week at work and next two weeks look like being the same (12+ hour days) plus 45 min commute each way.

This weekend have done Christmas cake, made mince pies, done Christmas tree etc. Still got wreath, nativity and other odds and side to do.

Just printing off the Christmas card list has made me depressed - we send around 100 cards and I write them all most years. DH has organised copies of a photo of the DCs to enclose. And writing this has made me realise I've done nothing about the kids' cards to friends etc.

Got about half of DCs' presents and stocking presents. Thank God our Nanny is going to wrap them.

Still got all other presents to think of, buy, wrap and in some cases post.

Finish work on 22nd. Will be knackered but have to go and stay with PILs for the big day.

I do love how excited the DC are, I really do. And I know how lucky we are so i know I'm being selfish and moany but I just feel overwhelmed. Christmas just feels like one long fucking to-do list at the moment.

Sorry. Thanks for virtually listening. Be nice.

If you're so busy why on earth are you making cake, mince pies, wreath & whatever you're doing with 'nativity'? You obviously have a job and enough money for a nanny so just buy things! I don't understand!

Over 100 cards?!
Fuck that shit!

I'm in a similar position though my children are older so have total sympathy.

Can you order presents from online retailers that will wrap and send direct to recipients?

I haven't sent cards for about the last 5 years.

I've made cakes but will be buying wreaths etc - could you farm out more tasks? I did some ringing about stuff on Saturday though and even that took me a good couple of hours - it's all time consuming.

Can the nanny who is doing wrapping help the DC write their cards?

I don't have any helpful advice but I can empathise. Sometimes it's hard to see the magic when you're the person almost single handedly providing it.

You sound well organised and there are still 3 weeks to go. Give yourself a break, watch a Christmas movie with the DC and open the Christmas chocolate/alcohol. Re charge a little bit so you can start the next day feeling the magic a little bit more

I've done nothing about the kids' cards to friends etc.

Are they old enough to be doing this themselves? Get them involved!

Or what NoCapes said 😄

Everyone who sends us presents sends them through Amazon and leaves me to wrap them; would definitely recommend doing that where you can.

And buy your mince pies, cake etc!

Not that I can talk: also working until 23rd and am making the main parts of the kids' presents.

I know, I know but the cooking makes the house smell nice. And there is an element of ingrained feeling that "homemade" is best. Which I don't believe on a rational level but somehow can't shake.

I come from a card-sending family. And I keep adding more. Some are to friends and family of my late DSis and DCousin. Sort of keeping them in touch.

Edit your gift list to the bare minimum.

Can you do secret Santa for the adults? That way you only buy one gift but if it's too late for this then both you and your dh be responsible for buying for your respective families only. That should save you a bit of time.

Can your dc write their own cards or could your nanny supervise the card writing exercise?

Order from Amazon, have it gift wrapped and sent directly to the recipient. I'm not sure if Amazon charge extra for this service but it's worth asking about.

Next year buy in the cake, mince pies etc and cut down your card list.

Although YY to asking the Nanny to help write cards with the DC. So obvious but it hadn't occurred to me.

Thanks MN I feel a bit better already.

Sadly am TT so no self-medication of the stress for me. Except for eating chocolate and cake (and mince pies) and feeling fat and bloaty, which isn't helping either.

Will fast tomo and take some exercise. That'll help.

For your commute are you driving or on train/bus? Is there any way you could utilise that time for writing cards / present lists / online shopping?

Also - make a list of everything that needs to be done before christmas. What can feasibly be handed over to DC and your nanny? What can DH do? A busy christmas like yours is a team effort - share out the jobs as much as you can!

You work 12+ hours per day plus commute 90 minutes?? And you are fasting and doing exercise on top of this?

Crikey, stop writing Christmas cards!

I come from a card giving family too. They're very big on giving cards. They're going to be horrified when they realise I'm not sending any this year.

Leave the cards and next year buy the food and wreath. If you get a spare afternoon you can do some baking. It'll be more enjoyable if it doesn't feel like a chore. You sound like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. You don't have to be perfect you know.

I'd prioritise the cards - we send lots every year - having moved twice in the last 11 years, it's a great way to keep in touch with people / news.

The odd bit of relaxing baking might be good, but I think you might need to be more realistic about what your current lifestyle will allow you to do. Hand-crafted / homemade Christmas' might need to wait until retirement!

Have you got your addresses for cards on a label template? It is a pain to do but once you do it means at least you don't need to write out the addresses by hand.
And next year - get pre printed cards which you then just have to write the personalised message in.

Use your next couple of commutes to think of who you really need to buy presents for (in your head if you drive) and then give up one night/lunch hour (tho guess they have already gone) to just getting the presents bought. Can you do a job lot of say Hotel Chocolat fancy chocs for everyone (they gift wrap)
Or you get gift bags and tissue paper?

I feel your pain as have been there in the past. When it was me, I should have just got it all out of the way quickly but I tried to do little bits every day - and ran out of time every time.
Just get the presents & cards done this week and you will feel loads better!

Sorry - you can get kraft paper bags on eBay 20 small for £10ish with a uk seller - nanny could get kids to decorate them? Or leave plain to be more stylish
Obviously you'll need bigger bags for bigger presents but bags definitely way to go

Thanks for all the suggestions. I tell you I'd pay serious money to someone who wrapped presents nicely. I know Amazon do wrapping but it's done quite badly IME. Maybe I'm over-fussy but I just think it looks awful. I think also people really notice if you've wrapped something nicely (well maybe not the kids!). Maybe our Nanny would do it if I paid her a bit extra. She has some spare time during the day ATM.

This might not help you but this year I've bought a Christmas planner from paper chase. The feeling of control I have is fab
I do know what you mean about homemade. It's all very well people saying buy it but if you want to make it, that's not any consolation.
I agree about getting your Christmas card list on labels. Your husband needs to pull his weight too. I wouldn't send any cards were it not for the fact that dh does that.

Last year I felt like this but this year I started early (not helpful now), got my DH to do 50% and am writing cards for 10 family only. Everyone gets an email. I'm rubbish at wrapping and we have a large local art college. Was seriously considering paying a student to wrap for me but we are about to take a big hit financially so instead embraced it and decided to overcome my shitness by doing a few a day and watching you tube videos to overcome my crapness. I am getting better...

We do do pre-printed labels - on a spreadsheet. We love a spreadsheet in our house.

Might do bargain with DH that we both write some or he writes cards and I wrap presents (which he's crap at!). He is good at helping if I ask, but Christmas stuff all tends to be the sort of stuff that is more usually my responsibility so I organise it all. There's lots of day to day stuff he does that I don't even have to think about but Christmas just all comes at once. Plus I'm a control freak.

Yy to whoever said it's hard to see the magic when you're the one making it. That's exactly how I feel.

As ever, though, things are looking brighter this morning.

Just buy shop done pies and cakes and stuff! Or have Nanny and the kids bake. Seriously then buy a scented Xmas candle for the smell.

Life is too short!!

Where do you live OP? I LOVE wrapping presents and often daydream about giving up my career and starting my own business. Wrapping presents will earn me about as much as being a lawyer, right?!

Briscoe I'm in London. I can assure you that at times like this, many lawyers would throw considerable amounts of money at this problem. Though possibly in their rational moments they would reflect that spending their entire income on paying people to do what they're too busy to do themselves might not make total sense.

Paffle seriously lower your expectations of yourself. You sound v driven and as if you have to pull off the perfect christmas but really there is no such thing as perfect!
I understand all too well as i used to be the same but over the years i have realised it is what it is! And that is good enough!
I am a perfectionist by nature but as i am getting on a bit i realise it is too much pressure and it is better to be happy.
Forget fasting etc relax and enjoy with your precious children. They will be grown and gone before you know it.
PS sorry for sermon . Meant kindly .

What is your commute like? Is there any way to write 5 cards a day on that? (I bring a bunch on work trips to write on the plane and that helps hugely).