Tell me it will be ok -Christmas dinner

[Maryann1975]

We have had some really bad news this week. Fil has terminal cancer and this will be his last Christmas. We (me, dh, 3dc) were hosting Christmas dinner for my family, which would have taken us to 9 people but today I have offered to have dh family round too (they were going to PIL where fil would normally cook). There will now be 19 of us.

I have 2 large ovens, and an induction hob, but only one big enough saucepan (my normal ones are fine for 5, but not 19). Dining room big enough to hold that many although we will struggle for comfy chairs before and after lunch.
One vegetarian, one who won't eat turkey, lots of over eaters and one extremely fussy child.
How on earth do I think about catering for this many. What have I let myself in for, it's going to be hugely stressful isn't it. I think I need a glass of wine just thinking about it. Please tell me it will be ok in the end.

Ask for help.could some people bring a dish made at home?

It will absolutely be ok.

First, yes ask for help. Ideally you shouldn't be even having to think about starters or puds - get a couple to bring smoked salmon and bread and another couple of people at least to bring puds.

That only leaves you the main. I think 19 is a lot of turkey... So would supplement with a bit gammon that can be cooked on Christmas Eve and served cold. You could even see if someone else would bring it?

Rope ppl into veg prep early on. I think there's a Jamie Oliver way of pre-prepping roast spuds? Also reduce expectations round the veg if you are one of those families who expect 18 million side dishes... Pre-prepped spuds, do a red cabbage in advance so it just needs popping in the oven when it's reheating, stir-fry sprouts with pancetta, maybe a pre-bought cauli cheese that just goes in the oven.

And buy gravy. Can't stress that enough. Get the most expensive version you can find - I can make gravy but Christmas dinner is not the time to be doing it for 19 ppl.

Finally make a timing plan working backwards from when you want to eat and stick to it. And breathe. You are really doing a lovely thing and showing the true spirit of Christmas, so try and enjoy it. The important thing is being together xxx

Yes, ask for help. I'm sure in-laws could/would bring a dish or a few. Spread the load. Borrow slow cookers and use them to heat up pre prepared red cabbage, carrots etc. Pre-roast turkey, slice, cover in gravy, keep warm in slow cooker. If you can afford it buy some ready made stuff, then you can spend more time with your father and family. No one that you need in your life will begrudge any short cuts that you take at this time.

Reheating = when the turkey is resting.

Veggie: I can give you a veggie stuffing recipe which you can either just do straight or make en croute. Again that can go in the hot oven with potatoes once the turkey is resting.

Make a list of food required and put someone's name next to it so then they are responsible for that dish.

Ditto with crockery/cutlery / serving dishes/ glasses - ask a guest to bring a set with them so you have enough to go round.

I assume that everyone is aware of the circumstances so it should be a collective responsibility to give your fil the best Christmas he's ever had.

Use foil roasting tins rather than creating tonnes of washing up - I'm usually against creating unnecessary waste but cooking for 19 on Christmas Day in your circumstances means you need it to be as stress free as possible!

Yes, ask people to bring a dish, that can just be heated through in microwave /oven. (They can make it, or cheat and buy depending on abilities! )
Give a few people other responsibilities eg serving drinks/ laying table etc
If you all pull together it could be a really lovely Christmas despite the difficult times, but all the burden shouldn't rest on your shoulders

When my mum used to do Christmas dinner for that many she always did the veg peeling/chopping the night before. She used foil trays for potatos, turkey, roasted carrots etc so she could just chuck them in the bin afterwards. And my aunt and uncle (vegetarians) bought their own nut roast with them.

Definitely try to rope in help, ask guests to bring desert/cheese/starters. You can do this!

Comfy chairs - ask people to bring things like bean bags etc, anyone young enough can use those so people who need them have the comfy chairs

Yes yes to buying the gravy. If you don't have a slow cooker ask your guests. Heat the gravy up on the hob and then pour into the slow cooker. It can then just sit in the kitchen or utility room being warm, and you can ask someone else to ladle it into jugs when serving up. When cooking for a lot of people it's hard to keep every really hit and ready to serve up at the same time but if you have hot gravy to pour over the top, noone will notice.

Yes we always sit round doing peeling and chopping on Christmas Eve rain it's a family tradition (try and commoditise that one retailsers...)

Vegetarian- can they bring a dish? one who won't eat turkey - same

It will absolutely be ok!
I agree, get people to bring a dish. Or delegate. Get people to sort a starter or a dessert.

But it will all work out and be great.

I used to do this at MILs for between 16-22 people. With one oven!

Cook 2 meats - turkey can be roast on Xmas Eve and warmed up Xmas day. Chuck a beef joint in a slow cooker and braise it. Sometimes I do gammon in coke as the second meat.

Prepare veg day before too. I do carrots, swede, sprouts, green beans and peas. All peeled, chopped and left overnight in cold water.

Potatoes and parsnips on the day or I think they go 'musty' tasting.

Carrots, sprouts swede and green beans can be parboiled then wrapped in foil with a knob of butter and left in the bottom of the oven to finish cooking for around an hour - I do it at the same time that the roasties and parsnips go in.

I make the Jamie Oliver get ahead gravy. You could do that now and put it in the freezer. Just get out on Xmas eve and reheat on the day. The braising juice for slow cooked beef can be thickened for that gravy.

Get others to do cold starters and bring with them. Salmon/Prawns/Pate/melon something like that. They could even use disposable bowls.

Christmas pudding can be done in the micro, buy ice creams for kids and a couple of Gateux.

You can do this!

Yup to foil roasting trays.

What are you planning on cooking? As others have said, don't worry about starters or desserts - someone else can bring.

Beg/borrow/steal a couple of slow cookers. Red cabbage can be bunged on there on Christmas Eve and you can cook beef or gammon in one. Personally I'd do as much in advance as humanly possible - so potatos peeled and parboiled on chrismas eve, all veg peeled etc.

Id also try and keep accompaniments to a minimum - red cabbage, roast root veg, roast potatos, sprouts and pigs in blankets. If you want a mash that can be made in advance and microwaved. Turkey can be kept warm with foil and towels whilst resting for an hour plus, freeing up the oven.

Plating up - have people help themselves otherwise by the time you've served 19 people the food will be cold.

Sitting around after - camping chairs are only about a fiver, and whilst I wouldn't stick my nana in one, will be comfy enough for most.

It'll be fine!

So sorry to read about your FiL, I hope you all have a really good Christmas together.

On to the food, you can do lots of it in advance. Peel, chop and par-boil the potatoes well in advance (mine are normally done by now) and then open freeze them. Once frozen, put them into freezer bags/boxes and then cook straight from the freezer on the day allowing 5 - 10 minutes more cooking. I think they are actually crisper this way, think it must be that they dry when being frozen.

If you do parsnips, they can be par-boiled, frozen in the same way and cooked straight from frozen too. Bread sauce I always freeze, and stuffing too. Depending on what you have, some other veg can be done in advance. If you buy the gravy, and get others to help you on the day, hopefully you'll find that it isnt too frantic.

Pre prepare everything you can and in disposable containers veg can be prepared the night before and left in water, definitely do red cabbage as that can be made now and frozen and then just decorated and heated up so nice and easy. Farm out starter and puddings, cracker buying, snacks, ask veggie what they want and if possible they bring it preprepared. Fussy child don't worry about, tell the parents what you are having and if the child doesn't like it the parents are free to bring and alternative but make it clear there won't be any oven space so would need to be cold. Often if you buy wine from majestically/waitrose/local wine merchant they will lend you glasses for free but you need to book ahead. Put someone else in charge of it and get them to pick them up and then at the end of the day you can put them back in the box dirty and they can be in change of washing them up at their house and taking them back. You will be fine just make lots of lists and a good time plan. Remember to share the responsibility of the work otherwise you will be tied to the oven. If there is a short cut or M&S cheat than go for it and keep things simple. As others have said I would cook a ham the night before then cook a turkey on the day. Personally the idea of cooking the turkey the night before covering in gravy and just reheating is not for me and rather ruins the day but if everything else is preprepared then there is plenty of time to carve the turkey. Make sure you have plenty of bin bags and get the kids in charge of clearing up th crackers rubbish and wrapping paper.

I've got a more manageable 13 this year on the big day but I regularly cater for 20 plus at Christmas. People appreciate us providing the venue and food and drink and pitch in. My SIL and BIL normally take over starter duties and I make full use of the supermarkets pre prepared stuff. I usually buy pre prepared goose fat roast potatoes that come in foil trays and just have to be heated, a boned stuffed turkey or two for easy carving (cook the turkey first thing then leave to rest whilst you do everything else), those microwaveable packs of baby sprouts with pancetta and chestnuts, gallons of fresh shop bought gravy etc etc. And I use a tiered steamer for the veg. It might not be quite as wonderful as all homemade but I figure it's only one meal, keep the booze flowing and everyone will think it's amazing through the alcoholic haze. I'm going to enjoy Christmas too, I refuse to stress out about it (what's the worst that can happen?) and they, and I, can do an all from scratch meal on Boxing Day when things aren't so hectic. (Although this year I'll have got rid of 5 Boxing Day morning only to have another four arrive in the evening!) good luck OP it's a lovely gesture to make your FIL's last Christmas so special and I'm sure that's what people will care about not judging your cooking/organisation skills.

I always use one of those 3 tier electric steamers at christmas to free up a hob.....

It will be fine. Do loads in advance. Delias red cabbage and apple works well in the slow cooker and smells lovely as it cooks.i would make it now and freeze them reheat in the slow cooker on Christmas day.

When making sausages skewer them onto long bamboo sticks (like for Bbq) then turning them over is really easy. You can do that the night before.

Don't have too many sides- make sure you have fils favourites. And yes delighte starters and desserts but make sure peoe prepare them in advance so you don't have more people in the kitchen (or that they can be prepared at the dining table)

First of all - we thought this when my dad was diagnosed. That was 6 Christmases ago.

Gravy can be made today and frozen. Freeze it in a bag that is resting in the vessel it is going to be heated up in. My personal faavourite is a microwave proof gravy boat. That way if you forget to take it out of the freezer in time it can be nuked.
For things like Carrots/ Sprouts et al do as a lot of restaurants do - boil / steam until almost cooked and then plunge them into really cold water. The keep their colour and then can be reheated by microwaving or quickly in a pan to glaze with butter ( and chestnuts, pancetta, star anise, or whatever else takes your fancy).
For roast vege - if you have oven space this is really easy. Roast in the Normal way, freeze on a tray so that they don't freeze in a lump. Shove in a really hot oven. Good temp for the spuds.
Custard - Buy it. Pudding - buy it.
Starters - something that doesn't need heating up - turrine / pate/ smoked salmon..

Delegate one person to take photos for the whole day. It's the one thing that is forgotten about but under the circumstances it is really important to get a set of photos of the family. A mix of casual and portrait style would be a good reminder of your family Christmas.

I don't have much to add in the way of food apart from microwaving..peas and pudding. I think it is a great idea about the photos. I am so sorry for your news. At times like this understandably atmosphere may be a bit low. I have experienced a similar occasion..concentrating on the kids seemed to help. Organising games etc for them to delight the adults..esp the older ones goes down extremely well

Forget about starters, I found them a nuisance re the timings but also it spoilt the turkey course as people were just too full to properly enjoy it. Instead I send someone round the room with canapés - nothing fancy just the ready made ones - an hour or so before the meal.

Already mentioned above but electric steamers are ace. Literally pop the veg in and set the timer then forget about them, no risk of pans boiling dry and it frees up more hob space.