What to put in friends hamper?

[giraffesarefab]

My friend is having a particularly shit time right now, her ds has autism and is struggling a lot at school etc so I'd like to do something nice for her.
They (friend, her dh, dd and ds) are going away for a few days in the week upto Christmas but will be back on day before Xmas eve, mid afternoon time.
I would love to leave a hamper basket on the doorstep for when they return but I'm not sure what to put in it. I know they don't like mince pies but apart from that, I don't really know their Christmas tastes!

It also has to remain anonymous as I don't want to stress her out having to return the favour, she's stressed enough!

So imagine you mysteriously found a hamper on your doorstep, what would you like to find in it?

A nice box of chocolates, some cheese truckles, chutney and crackers and maybe some wine or alcohol you know they like?

Wine!!

Posh crisps, popcorn to share with her family over a Christmas Eve movie, nice crackers and a nice cheese??

I'm trying to come up for things to go in a hamper for my dad so far I have

Peanuts
Biscuits
Crisps
Cheese crackers
Nice cheeses
Pickles
Chocolates
Pate
Pork pie
Scotch eggs
Christmas cake
Mince pies
Christmas magazine

Wine
Cheese
Chocolate
Chutney
Crackers

Wine or decent coffee, chocolates, if they don't like mince pies then maybe Spekulaas biscuits or Lebkuchen? Or if you go for coffee, biscotti.

Cheese, salami or olives, crackers, a jar of Peppadew peppers?

Or: A few part-baked baguettes, some bacon, brie and cranberry sauce?

Ooh yes cheese, chutney and crackers, she would adore that! Thank you x

Fiddle toys for the ds might buy your friend five minutes peace. Ds and dd like wooden ones like Jacobs ladder or these
Nice hot chocolate, mini marshmallows and squirty cream, shortbread, a nice bubble bath, breakfast pastries so she gets a slow morning after her trip away.

Not much perishable: they might have organised a christmas shop and have limited fridge space.

Lovely idea. She is lucky to have someone to think of her. Are you 100% on the hamper? Just in thinking is that more a family thing than a treat for her? I might prefer a card with a voucher for a massage and just a note saying she deserves to be pampered as she does so well looking after everyone else

An apostrophe!

Oooh. Prosecco. Crackers - to pull. Fancy crisps. Nice chocolates. Panetone the cake thing and ponsietta the plant thing

Lovely idea, Id add candles and some nice smellies , bath bombs or something just for her . But I really wouldnt leave it on the door step, unless you are 100% ceratin it couldnt be seen from the road ..

'certain' .. that is ..

Tbh I wouldn't do food atall, getting back from a trip that close to Christmas they will have organised all that themselves
I think I'd put in some nice bath bombs, a candle, maybe a book for each of them and something that would keep her DS busy for a while; you don't say how old he is but a colouring book/craft set or something like that?

Not totally set on the hamper, (it definitely can't be seen from the road), but maybe a voucher would be better? I'd hate to buy food for it to go to waste! Her ds is 9 and I have some sensory chew cables (as he chews his clothes). My ds2 is also autistic and she has been confiding in me so I know how stressed she is.

newideas thanks for that

Ignore that douchebag post I think the main thing is that someone stopped to think of her so anything you buy will be amazing because it's the gift that someone actually gives a shit and notices. Personally though I think a voucher for nails done, blow dry, massage etc is nicer and more for her than the whole family

Yes, I think I will do that actually, she's not a very girly sort of person but I know she would like a massage or something similar.

Thanks everyone

As long as you are sure she likes massages...some people don't enjoy strangers touching them (is my idea of hell) I've been given spa vouchers before from well meaning friends, the thought of visiting a spa brought me out in a cold sweat

You sound like such a lovely and thoughtful friend!

I think the hamper is a lovely idea. They could go in and use it straight away what a lovely surprise. I have been to a charity auction where they were themed.i have since pinched this idea. So one was after eight. It had a bottle of wine, chocolates, after eights, hot chocolate, coffee, cake. Another had tea, coffee and afternoon tea things( scones, Victoria Sandwich, biscuits) , another was Cheese Boardand had a small cheese board and knife with about five different cheeses and a bottle of wine.
What about a magazine and comic, some Christmas biscuits and hot chocolate, tea.maybe a small bottle of wine.
One of the kids at school made me a bag with two small bottles of wine, some quality coffee, some chocolates and crisps, a eye mask and a face mask. There was a lovely message about chilling the wine then myself.

What a lovely thing to do for your friend. I second getting in treats for the morning , but maybe ones that would keep in case they have got stuff sorted, plus components of a Cmas eve box, DVD or something to keep ds occupied, bath bombs, wine, nibbles and maybe a voucher for Costa or somewhere for her to escape for an hour or so. Nice magazine. I'd avoid the other Xmas treats like Xmas cake etc if they don't like mince pies but xheese, crackers and wine def won't go wrong! Or maybe a voucher for a local ironing place? That would make my year!!

Right, I've managed to quiz her a little bit, massages are definitely out! As a pp said, it would make her incredibly uncomfortable and not something she would like. So I'm back to hamper or voucher so I'm thinking of a mixture of both.
We went shopping and ended up with a zoom around a supermarket where she pointed out lots of things that she liked but would never buy for herself, like posh versions of things - I had to be very subtle in my questioning - so I think I'll get her what she mentioned (not necessarily Christmas food) and a voucher for Costa.

Thank you for all your help.

Some lovely suggestions here.

Just a word of caution.

Someone did this for me recently, and although it was lovely, the anonymity of it was not. It would have meant slightly different things from different people (in one case it would have been so patronising I couldn't have used anything) so while I didn't know who it was from I was very unsettled.

Fortunately the culprit is rubbish at secrets so I did find out a few days later. At that point I felt much better about it and was able to enjoy the contents.

I understand that you're going for anonymity to avoid placing an obligation on her to reciprocate, but I don't think it's as simple as that. I also think you could forestall that obligation by explicitly stating it's in return for her help/support/ or inviting her to pay it forward (not back) when she can.

You sound like a lovely friend