how much do you REALLY spend on your kids? i think im in denial...

[juicychops]

every year my sister asks me how much i spend on my ds (only child) and every year she is shocked by the amount that i say. She has 2 kids so would obviously have to spend the same on each so maybe has a smaller budget than me.

Xmas is once a year and i love it and i have prepared and saved in advance this year so wont be getting into debt to pay for things. Having a ds that is nearly 12 everything on his list is super expensive but i dont want to risk him being disappointed only having a few presents to open. I have had the talk with him and he understands that he wont get as much this year as all of his things are expensive and add up to a lot, which he was fine about, but still, i would like him to have a reasonable amount of presents.
My budget was £200 but it will look as though i will end up spending nearer £300. Is that really terrible? I feel like i need to justify spending that much, and in my defense i dont buy him much at all through the year as he has to save his own pocket money to buy his own things.

But i suppose im just asking is that over the top and spoilt? or around normal?

Our dc have got about 6 things each which are all expensive items. A few nice chocolates and bits in a stocking and that's it. They won't have lots to open but they will love what they do have. They're teenagers.
Budget was around £300 each but spent more. No debts. It's nice to indulge them.

Mmmmm in reality it probably ends up at £500 each. 3yo and 5yo. Don't justify anything we all live to our means

Mine are little, 3 and 18 months so I'm only spending about £75 per child this year. I'd struggle to find anything else that I think they'd actually want to be honest! Our house is already full of toys.
I imagine this will increase a lot as they get older though. I'm enjoying the early years when I can get away with not spending much!

We're also doing a few Christmas outings (taking DD1 to see Stick Man, winter wonderland type thing etc) so that obviously costs a fair bit. In reality we could afford to spend more but I'm not buying things for the sake of it.

We spend around £250-£300 each on our 2. However this year they didn't really want anything in particular so we have booked Disneyland Paris for February as their main present so we have spent more this time. Still got bits, clothes, pjs, slippers.

What other people spend is irrelevant unless you can see the bigger picture, and unfortunately on here, you can never do that.

Some people spend little at Christmas, but buy their children frequent gifts throughout the year.

Others spend little at Christmas but spend lots on a child's birthday.

Others spend loads at Christmas and waste it on lots of tat.

Others spend lots at Christmas but include lots of essentials that would be given anyway (clothes etc) so that reduces the cost iyswim.

People can also be unnecessarily rude and judgmental in other people's choices. For example on another thread, one poster was incredibly rude about another poster spending 1k on presents for her child, calling her an idiot - saying no child ever needed that amount spent on them. But then later admitted she had spent 2k buying her child a musical instrument. However, as she had not called this a Christmas present, this was okay .

All that counts is what you can afford, what your children need and appreciate. Their needs and wants change with age too. When my DC were little £50 would constitute a main present. Now my DC1 is a teen, £50 is nothing! Last year she had £300 on her own laptop. She uses this lots for homework. This year it's a new phone. Next year it's £500 for a Saxophone and the year after it's 1k for an upgraded flute (may be the other way round, depending on how long I can eek out her current flute). For some that's nothing to spend, for others that's too much, for others again, it's okay if you buy it on the 24th or 26th Dec, just so long as you don't buy it on the 25th.

Upshot - there is no consensus here - just buy what you want and what you can afford. It's no one else's business.

Why do these threads always include posts denigrating people who don't spend much as misers who only get their kids a satsuma and a coloring book? Maybe that's all they can afford.

Oh no, I would never ever want to do that, when first dd was little money was really tight and nearly all her gifts were actually free or second hand. I got lucky with a huge bin bag of free toys, from freecyle, I was able to give them over two years. She never knew or realised and loved what she got.

I have an uber wealthy cousin who is poe faced at Christmas! BUT her kids have always had latest technology, bikes etc all year round.
Another poe facer prides herself on the satsuma and whittled wood BUT her family is LARGE and generous so again!! She can get away with only 2 gifts. Another one is living in a different time I think, but prides herself on the restrained gifts. I would never want to make anyone who cant afford more feel bad but I dont comment anywhere else except here and having had many a lean xmas would be happy to give tips - I guess because I have done a no budget xmas but still been able to produce a decent pile...

We can't ours don't get spoiled by anyone but us.

We're also doing a few Christmas outings

yes they add up too dont they

again when dd 1 was little money was so tight, we didn't do anything, no visit to santa, no panto, no days out.

Now I like to do panto or Christmas play, we always do a visit to santa now, and we have splurged on Disney on ice this year, but yes, it adds a fortune!

Would have loved to do stick man too.

I usually spend around £60 on a 'main' present from us and probably about the same on a stocking from FC. Stockings have around 10 presents ranging from pence to £15 each

I don't really think it matters how much you spend! I have spent absolutely loads on DD this Christmas she is 2!! Although it's all things that I know she will definitely play with items add up.
Her main Christmas present a lovely wooden kitchen has cost me £209. She loves playing pretend. Dolls, making me little meals out of plastic food cleaning up with me so this is all stuff that I have bought her.
I bought her a plastic Kitchen last year that was just crap. All the stickers fell off and it's falling to pieces because she plays with it that much. Hence why I don't mind going the extra mile! S
Every Christmas matters as does every birthday. My DD spent her first Christmas in hospital so we didn't get to do anything and her second Christmas I was on my arse financially so this Christmas we are settled, we have the money so why not!!

I don't think that how much you spend matters though, Christmas has always been about being around family and eating looooads of food in my house so that's what we are all mainly looking forward to (apart from DD she can't wait to see Santa) luckily FIL has a nifty Santa outfit from when he used to dress as Santa at his work so she actually gets to see him. (Well you know what I mean)

Last year I actually wrote down and added up
250 each on 21 year old, 18 year old and 8 year old.

Has varied massively over the years depending on how we are doing. Every Christmas they have been happy and grateful

Tbh I have done well although I have spent a hell of a lot half of her toys were deals. I have been to our local big b&m twice and I buy the 2 for 20 deal and stuff that are on half price can't say it always helps cos I seem to spend more . I also shop a lot of her stuff on amazon as you can always find it cheaper!!
The retail price for DDs kitchen is over 300 pound that I would not spend but 209 is a lot cheaper & for wood it will last her a good few years so it seems worth it.

DS is only 2 so not spending too much on him. I tend to buy him stuff throughout the year too.

So far I've got him books, slippers and a jigsaw