Talk to me about your quiet, low-key Christmas

[JagWalker]

Long story short, DS(5) and I have just moved in with my DP. This has caused alot of tension on my side of the family who are unhappy with my choice and I have had a really, really stressful time moving and managing most of it alone.

Normally DS and I would have a busy, noisy Christmas with my relatives, lots of excitement, big dinner and probably arguing too. I've decided that I can't be arsed with it this year and as DP isn't a fan of Christmas I think it's unfair to subject him to that sort of - I also don't want us to spend our first Christmas together apart so leaving him at home alone isn't an option.

I would quite like a nice, quiet Christmas, just the three of us, minimal fuss, eat what we want and relax/ take the day as it comes but then wonder if this is unfair on 5yo DS who has no siblings and is close to his grandparents.

What do you all think and if you have a small and quiet Christmas, how do you spend it?

It is time to create your own traditions as a newly formed family unit.

Focus on what is important for you at Christmas, and try to incorporate that into your plans.

Your DP and yourself will have to sit down and decide what to do, and both of you may have to make some compromises.

Could you see Grandparents on boxing day instead?

We have dinner on Xmas eve
We unwrap presents on Xmas morning
And then ski the whole day
It's great not doing the whole Xmas dinner thing on Xmas day - I feel like I've been let out of prison

We have a huge extended family but like it to be just us on Christmas Day (me, DH and the 3 DC). We love lazing around all day in our new pyjamas after present opening and a cooked breakfast in the morning. The DC prefer it with no visitors on the actual day as it means they can just be at home in their own house playing with their own toys and not having to be on their best behaviour for visitors etc. Christmas Eve we see family in the afternoon and then do a buffet party tea just us in the evening and watch a Christmas movie together before the kids go to bed. Christmas day the DC open their stockings in our bed, we go down and have breakfast and then open presents. The rest of the day is do as you please - I have a nice bath with new smellies, kids play, DH takes his time perfecting the Christmas dinner. After dinner we play cards or a new board game and then settle down for some more film or TV watching. Boxing Day we visit local relatives and often my family arrive then to stay a few days.

I do need to speak about it more to DP but I'm fairly confident he'd rather just stay at home.

Grandparents are a 2.5 hour round trip away, I might see if they'd like to have DS on Boxing night for a sleepover and I can stay for a few hours during the day.

We stay at home, just me, DH, and 2DC. We have done this ever since we were married and so DC have never been elsewhere or us had guests for Christmas Day. I do feel guilty at times, but actually they love it! It is still a crazy day but they get to play with their new toys, and have a bit of a chill, we know what food they like etc. DC2 was still tiny last year but DC1 (also 5) has never felt lonely on Christmas Day, so don't worry that your DS will miss out.

We always had Christmas at home when I was little, and our family all live far away, so we visit them some years, and other years stay at home, just the four of us. When I was a child, the whole household got new pyjamas on Christmas Eve, and we stayed in our PJs for the whole of Christmas day. We had a big table of nibbly food requiring little or no preparation (bread, cheese, salad, cold meats, olives, dips, crisps etc) instead of a big meal.

It was lovely, but my Christmases with DP and the children are a bit more traditional. We open stockings in bed, have breakfast, open some presents, play a bit, cook a bit, maybe open more presents, have canapés, play or watch TV, eat the Christmas dinner, go for a walk, watch TV, play, eat cold pigs in blankets, go to bed.

As a child all my Christmases were just me, my parents and my sister, extended family is huge and far flung so visits were done on other days in the Christmas holidays (teacher parents)

We had stockings to open early in our bedrooms, then once it was a semi decent time we went down and opened all the presents, always youngest to oldest.

Chocolate for breakfast for the kids (no idea what my parents had oops). Christmas dinner about 2pm, then an afternoon of lazing around watching Christmas tv or videos (!) we'd been given, eating lots of crap, and playing with new toys. Tea would be cold bits, leftovers and Christmas cake.

It was what we always did so I never felt deprived and as an adult I still don't

Oh we did this when DS was 5. It was brilliant. DS opened presents at the crack of dawn, then we had a nice breakfast with Buck's Fizz. We spread the traditional Christmas lunch out - soup around mid day, main around 4.30, dessert around 6 and cheese after DS was in bed. Cooking the meal was leisurely with a glass of fizz or mulled wine in hand, we ate closer to our usual mealtimes so didn't get too stuffed. DS got to play with his presents instead of being whipped off to visit people. Very leisurely, good quality time with DS and a very relaxed day! DS loved it too.