MN Secret Santa

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I use the mobile site most of the time and just realised I might have missed the announcement and nominations for the Secret Santa. There's someone I definitely want to nominate and not sure how to do it or if I'm too late.

They're not doing it this year. They said there would be some sort of organised charity thing instead.

So let me get this right. Mumsnetters started the secret santander, ran it for years then mnhq took it off the and ran it themselves. And now they have decided they don't want to do it anymore so it's just stopped? Sorry but that doesn't quite seem right to me. We should go back to organising it ourselves again. Bit late for this year but does noone else see how unfair that is?

Long thread in site stuff.

The competitive givers and whiners will be disappointed.

Organise it yourselves if you want to do one. But do try and avoid the above.

It isn't unfair at all, the MN SS is no longer happening, if individuals want to do one themselves, get on with it.

Not unfair at all. MN took it over in good faith and then it turned into a massive popularity contest, with people complaining they hadn't been nominated, people posting in great detail about all the huge ostentatious presents they had been sent (or had sent). Not MNHQ's fault. No reason individuals can't do it again though.

Before MN took over the Secret Santa a MNer who was doing it had the world of shit thrown at her, accusations of wrongdoing and it ruined the whole point of the SS.

MN is too big for SS now and there are too many trolls, liars, GFers and User1283626283837 posters for it to be meaningful. If you want to organise a SS, do so, but don't come crying or complaining when it all goes tits up.

Oh, right. I just wanted to send a newly single mum a gift. No way of getting her address without it seeming sinister or giving the game away.

I agree wholeheartedly with Eve
Will be donating to my local food bank instead

I think it's sad. I donated, usingoney that I would have spent on my DDad who'd died. It was great and something he would have heartily approved of. I won't do charity as I dislike the way many of them operate, so this year the money will buy flowers for the cemetery.

I would never do it again after offering one gift for maybe an older single person and getting a wish list for a large family incl parents.

The problem was you got people coming along and saying "I didn't spend much, just £100 (or whatever)" and making people who had only spent £10 feel crap, then you got thank you threads listing all these huge and lavish hampers and again making people feel bad. Or people saying "AIBU to feel a bit sad that I wasn't nominated". If they had stuck to a fixed budget, as is usual in a Secret Santa, of say £10 to make it a token gesture affordable to most that would have made a big difference IMO.

I've often donated in the past, but I can see Lt Eves point that MN has gotten so big, and also remember the shitstorm with the lost present.

Sigh. I liked it though. Not sure we could do it ourselves anymore - even I would balk at putting my address out there, and I put myself on a fairly regularly basis.

The last time I did it I sent gifts for an entire family (quite happily and nothing extravagant) only to find when I checked the 'thank you' thread that they'd received from at least 4 different people, while others were deemed unworthy of a gift.

Left a bitter taste in my mouth so now do something locally instead.

Agree with everyone above.

One recipient of mine thanked me for one present and then asked when the others were arriving.

Another thanked me and said the box had got squashed, would it be possible to have another sent out.

And I know a lagger in real life who did the "down to last tuppence" line one year while flying her private-school educated brood to Dubai in business class for Christmas. Her Nigella-style-funded-by-MN Christmas did indeed bring a tear to one's eye. But of utter rage at the bare-faced cheek. Takes a special kind of bitch to do that sort of thing.

I expect someone will come along and say "you don't do it for the thanks". True, but when your experience of it was like mine- never once a rounding success, you just think meh, and donate to the donkeys.

Wow, I've never actually clicked on the SS threads so had no idea all this went on!

So how did it work, Mumsnet would create a list of names and people could choose who to send to? So one person might get 20 presents and someone else only get one?

When it started, it was about sending things you already had. I sent some second hand clothes.

You nominate people. So only "well-known" MNers got nominated really. There was talk, never confirmed, that groups of friends would all nominate each other.

Cue November and the "we've had a terrible year, the Post Office lost my cheque, the goldfish died, and there's dry rot in the airing cupboard" threads.

I have been here eight to ten years, and never got nominated. I had at points had PMs from other MNers when I'd had a real real low, but I never took them up on any offers. I did however donate before it got huge - I spent £10 on winter woolies and chocolate from poundland and wrapped them and sent them. Never had a complaint about what was received , but this was before it got so huge. It just became a boasting game, and with name changing (especially after the hacking) I'm not surprised. (I've name changed myself three or four times just this year) same reason I no longer go to meet ups with my constant name change.

In fact I wonder if the hacking had something to do with it, with the addresses etc.

The original idea of sending token gifts to families in difficult circumstances, or to acknowledge MNers who had been particularly nice and helpful, was a good one.

But like others I wish there had been a price limit. I gave twice and the recipients posted nice thank-you messages, but I felt a bit embarrassed about sending £20 worth of little tokens when the posts about the Fortnum hampers etc started to appear.

I don't really know what this SS thing is?

I'm on Instagram and there's often a 'happy post' scheme on there, where someone will ask if there's anybody who wants to join in. You're then paired up with someone random, have a budget of 10 pounds, and send them a token something to brighten up the post box from bills etc. That always seems to work well. But it may be because you're not anonymous on that.

The only nominating thing just seems like a high school popularity contest! It's a shame, as it sounds a nice idea in theory. Can see how it went tits up though.

I'm glad it's been stopped, it means no begging posts, no popularity contests and no whining hopefully. A charity event (registered charities) would be much better than several mumsnetters gaining lots as has been tradition.

I was actually going to join in this year! it's a shame it turned to shit but agreed that the forum is a little too large for it to be working well. Shame.

I was wondering why it wasnt happening this year. I got nominated a few years back and rexieved a lovely book on making your own decorations (with pullnout papers) which is still going strong though i think ill have tonreplace it this year as were nearly out of the papers to pull out and it was wonderfull and makes me smile everybtime we use it. I had no idea why i was nominated but it did brighten my christmas.

Its a shame its not being done but i can understand the posts above as why its stopped.