Where to put everyone??

[Trinpy]

PiL have decided they want to come over for Christmas this year, probably staying for around 5 days. Despite saying in previous years that we couldn't invite my parents for Xmas dinner because we don't have enough space, dh thinks we now magically have the space to host his parents for 2 Christmas meals and have them to stay for the best part of a week .

Anyway, has anyone done this and not had it turn out to be a complete nightmare? If we moved furniture around we could create a temporary space of around 7'x7' in the living room (but only if we didn't have a Xmas tree!). We would also need to borrow a table. Dh reckons we can eat all other meals in rounds - so 3 people at a time - sitting at the kitchen table.

We would also need to fit 2 adults, a baby and a toddler into a small double bedroom.

I obviously can't say no to it all or I'll be The Bitch DiL, so please help me dread it less!

Oh I did. But his ideas are fucking stupid. His first idea was to bring in the garden furniture and wedge that into the kitchen somehow. Second idea was that we would just move the sofa out of the living room every time we wanted to eat (to where???). Third idea was that we stick PiL in the freezing cold basement which is our storage space so full of boxes, etc. I have told him to think up some decent ideas but I'm not leaving it all up to him because I'll have to live with the consequences.

Actually when I mentioned my parents he thought I was hinting at inviting them too and said 'oh yeah go on then. But can they bring more chairs?'. So I think firstly, that he may genuinely have forgotten that my dad is in a wheelchair now and can't get into our house and secondly, he's currently living in some fantasy land where anythings possible.

Put them in the basement if that is the best he can come up with and let him live with the consequences.

Sorry op- he didn't want your dad but you have to bend over backwards with a newborn and squash in like sardines

no way

What about doing some mental measuring and moving round?
Do you want to spend Christmas like this? Why don't your feelings measure up equally to DH's and PIL's?
If you say no and are cast as the bitch DIL, what then? Would that new dynamic be so bad? Just because someone thinks you're a bitch doesn't make their opinion relevant.

Can you imagine a way of saying no that you feel comfortable with?

If you do go along with it, I'd run with your DH's ideas. Let him wedge the garden furniture in, let him heft the sofa out, let them sleep in the basement.

Sweetly suggest they bring extra blankets. Smile and make everyone welcome and let them have exactly what they want in a way that inconveniences them not you Retreat to your bedroom and sanctuary or take the kids out for lovely wintery walks with a flask of hot chocolate.

If anyone criticises the cooking, smile gratefully and step out of their way so they can take over. Keep giving them the natural consequences of their actions.

Instead of wasting your energy picking up the pieces of their stupidity, practise zen meditation or sing Christmas carols in your head. If it really gets too much for you, lock yourself in the bathroom and jot down notes for the darkly comic novel that you'll be writing about all this in the new year.

Inflateable matresses are cheap easy to put up and down and comfy if that helps

If you have a Range near you they have 6ft fold down tressle tables for £29. When folded down it takes up no space

Inflateable matresses are cheap easy to put up and down and are comfy . They go on floor so no need to move furniture. Also you can get those little folding tables that you put infront of each person (sometimes they are rather confusingly called tv tables). They are cheap and fold flat for storage. Then you can eat on sofa . Not ideal but might help.

Thank you for all of your advice.

I've said yes to them coming. My dm has said we can leave some of the boxes from the basement at her house so that frees up some more space.

I don't cook for them anyway because MiL doesn't like the kind of stuff I cook (which I can understand because I'm not keen on much of the traditional food from their country either - it's very different tastes). There's one day when Dh will have to work all day which is awkward because we don't have a common language, but I'm going to suggest they take dc1 out on a looong walk that day!

Dh also thinks there's a chance they were just testing us to see if we'd say yes.