Can you see about any catering hire places locally to you, and hire them for the day? Plates, glasses, cutlery etc? It probably won't cost a huge amount, they will be matching, and you don't have storage problems.
Allocate jobs - so ask 1 family to bring desert and another to bring starters, different side dishes for the main course, or 1 person to bring wine, or a person to bring snacks - that sort of thing.
Or even get some to help in advance or on the day - so someone to peel potatoes, someone to set the table, someone to be in charge of drinks, someone to watch the DCs and entertain them if needed, someone to wash up afterwards (and you are NOT doing washup if you have catered!)....
Have plenty of things like bin liners, washing up liquid, toilet rolls etc. Even if you have a dishwasher, someone will need to wash up some things. But if you have a dishwasher, run it after breakfast (no matter how empty if looks to you) and have it completely empty to take the dinner dishes.
I tend to prep my veggies on Christmas Eve - wash, peel, chop etc - and then either cover with water in their various pots on the stove or put them in airtight containers in the fridge (depending on what they need). DH makes the stuffing the day before as well, and he uses the breadcrumbs we've already frozen earlier (using up heels and crusts of bread).
We also don't overcomplicate the meal. Plenty of roast potatoes, if more than ourselves we also have a good pot of mashed potatoes too, maybe 3 types of veg, gravy, the stuffed bird, sometimes but not always another joint (DH loves spiced beef). Starters some years but often just "party nibbles" served with drinks before the meal rather than a specific course - although either a big pot of soup or cold plates that can be prepared in advance would be the best option for actual starters at the table. Cheese course is vital in our house (maybe 4 cheeses), and desert is Christmas pudding with some icecream.
Lots of soft drinks for children and non-drinkers, or even drinkers to space out their alcohol if they want. Plenty of water too (plain and sparkling). And tea/coffee for afterwards.