Xmas at home - how to tell inlaws?

[GreatBritishBakeOff]

Dh and I always spend Xmas with his parents. Every year. They are nice and everything, but FIL gets grumpier every year and MIL gets more deaf, and there's not as many laughs to be had as I'd like.

We have 2 DC who will be 5 and 1 at Xmas, so the older one is really getting into it now.
Dh and I would love to have Xmas at home, just the 4 of us, so we can have our own traditions and make some less grumpy Christmas memories, but how did we tell PILs without hurting their feelings?

They have another son, but he's very unreliable and might pop in to theirs for half an hour on Xmas day, maybe.

They don't live close either, 2 hours away. So it's not as if we can just pop by in the afternoon or something, we have to stay really.

Thanks everyone, some great ideas. X

Dh is definitely on board, but he has joked that it shouldn't come from their 'beloved son'

Fuck that. He wants to be able to put the blame on you if there is any fallout, rather than presenting a united front. Don't let this happen. He is the beloved son obviously and nothing is going to stop him loving his mum and dad but he is a husband and father now too and he needs to man up enough to let his dp know that the 4 of you will be having Christmas day in your own home this year, without saying "GBBO is insisting we must have Christmas day in our own home this year" or making you be the one to break it to them.

Agree with presenting an tentative nice plan when you do it - panto etc - and with DH doing it,

Shouldn't come from his son! What an idiot ! I'm actually really peed off for you!

agree with letting them down gently, be kind be nice.

would you mind them at yours?

let them down for the day but give them something else to look forward too, and enjoy your day op.

I do wonder why people who dont make an effort or dislike xmas inflict themselves on others! No offence to your in laws but if dh and I get like this I hope we have the good grace to bow out!"

Did the ILs travel to relatives when they had little dc?

giddy yes, sometimes they did...!
It's not like they don't like Christmas, they very much do, which makes it harder. It's just that they are a bit like buzz killers, they suck the life out of it a bit. We just feel like we can't have as much fun, be quite as relaxed or enjoy ourselves how we want to.
I don't want them to come here, they are worse here than at theirs! Also they would have to sleep in the lounge which kills the Santa magic.
I want us all to be able to sit in pjs on Xmas eve watching a movie and not really care about it.
I want the kids to be able to open the presents as soon as they get up, instead of having to wait for 2 hours while everyone gets up and showered and breakfasted...
I've told dh he is telling them, but we will have an alternate offering at the ready!
Thanks all.

I want the kids to be able to open the presents as soon as they get up, instead of having to wait for 2 hours while everyone gets up and showered and breakfasted...

urgh, of course who would make small children wait for this so selfish! They dont have to open every single gift do they!

Good luck op