Any Xmas jokes -good and awful ones please.....

[MerryBiglipsmas]

...

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? (Waits for avalanche of answers.)

What's green and does good turns?

dunno

and

dunno

Snow balls.

A boy sprout.

Just you and me then, biglips

Why does Santa need 3 gardens?

Coz he likes to 'hoe, hoe, hoe.

Im reading

phewwww

boy sprout pmsl haaa haaa haa

thats so good - must remember for social occasions.

Paula, if that is because you thought they were stinkers, what about this:

What is Father Christmas's wife called?
Mary Christmas (Mary, Merry...)

Wow custardo, had no idea there would be people in the universe that hadn't had that particular cracker joke every christmas for the last few decades

lol yes that also was bad. Extra points if you can come up with something worse

Aah, the sound of a gauntlet being slapped down, must try self-hypnosis to turn the clock back to 1976 where my collection of seasonal jokes first began.

This one was on here last year!

Have you heard that Lilets are replacing their strings with tinsel......

but only for the Christmas period!

I don't get it

Miliways - I see I'm going to have to up my game

Or more likely just go to bed.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Coz he had mental elf problems..............

I'll get me coat

3 men at St peter's gates trying to get into heaven. St peter tells them since it's crhistmas they all ahve to do something christmasy before they are let in. The first man performs a one man nativity show and is let in, the second one jangles his car keys and sings jingle bells he is also let in the third one waves a pair of knickers around ..

"Knickers" says St. Peter I don't get the christmas connection and the third man says.....

"they're Carol's!"

LOL I like that one

at ledodgys aaawwwwffuuullll joke!!

more pllllllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz