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Christmas

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable?

25 replies

trixymalixy · 16/12/2006 16:26

DH wants to spend from the 26th of Dec to the 2nd of jan trailing round the country between his parents (200 miles away) and his sister's house(400 miles away).

Bearing in mind that I will be 37 weeks pregnant and have just spent the last week on complete bed rest due to high blood pressure, do you think it's unreasonable for me to suggest that we just go to his sister's for the family meal and stay just a couple of days and then come back home?

OP posts:

Tinker · 16/12/2006 16:28

You're not being unreasonable.

Pixiefish · 16/12/2006 16:29

Not unreasonable at all

beansprout · 16/12/2006 16:30

Blimey, if your health doesn't come first now, then when does it?!! No, you are not. He is.

COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP · 16/12/2006 16:32

Even without the high bp there is no way I would've wanted to make that kind of journey at 37wks. He is being unreasonable if he expects you to manage this, particularly given the recent health problems.

NAB3 · 16/12/2006 16:32

I think you should stay at home full stop. I was 38 weeks pg when my nan was dying 300+ miles away but I couldn't go as my pregnancy was risky. Some things are more important than visits.

winterWOMBAland · 16/12/2006 16:34

You aren't being in the slightest bit unreasonable. Just remind your dh how often you'll have to keep stopping for comfort breaks..that should do the trick!!

Pinotmum · 16/12/2006 16:34

I wouldn't be going anywhere that far if I was you.

Furball · 16/12/2006 16:35

I'd think it was unreasonable if I wasn't pregnant! Personally I wouldn't go anywhere if in your position.

moondog · 16/12/2006 16:36

I'd stay home.
Totally unreasonable.

poinsettydog · 16/12/2006 16:42

Not unreasonable. Think it's harder for men to switch off from usual Christmas routines and understand that you don't want to move anywhere!

poinsettydog · 16/12/2006 16:42

I meant not unreasonable of you at all!

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 16/12/2006 16:45

From experience, there's quite a chance that in the next few weeks you will be in hospital, either from delivery or BP issues. Does he really want that to be an unfamiliar one miles away? What does your MW say, btew- they're supposed to be consulted post 36 weeks.

Travelling that sort of distance isn't a good idea so late on anyway (had to, and my MW made me stop every 40 minutes for a walk due to risk of- I think- thrombosis) and your BP needs you to REST

tell him to sod of, its not on

Original poster

trixymalixy · 16/12/2006 17:31

Thanks! Was just wondering if I was just too knackered and emotional to be thinking straight.

I'm just feeling bad as we were supposed to be having Xmas with his family this year but now spending it with my family due to illness.

Then we had agreed to a meal with his family in between Xmas and new year and to spending new year with his sister.

Which seemed reasonable at the time, but then turned into meal at MILs on 26th, meal at SIL's on the 27th then staying there till after new year!!

OP posts:

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 16/12/2006 18:18

What IS your due date, btw?????

Is this your first?

firemaiden · 16/12/2006 18:20

Don't go - really not worth the risks to your health and that of your baby. I had to rest with blood pressure and bleeding in my pregnancy and baby still arrived on week 38 (after 2 months of bed rest) so I feel really strongly for you on this. Don't risk it - you and baby come first!! Point out to dh that if you do go, you'll need to take pram, baby bath, changing mat etc - everything you would need if baby is born early and, if baby is born early in hospital near his relatives, you and he and baby will spend the first day or so in hospital so won't get to see his family anyway .

fruitful · 16/12/2006 18:28

Get your midwife to explain to your dh why it is not a good idea to travel 200 miles (never mind 400, or the return journey) at 37 weeks with high bp. And then get him to explain it to his family.

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 16/12/2006 18:30

FWIW I also had high BP, ds1 came at 38 weeks, low birth weight and with subsequent health problems. Did I rest when I was told? Did I heck! . Wish I had done, of course.

santasbaby · 16/12/2006 18:45

God no, not unreasonable at all. I was 38 weeks pg last christmas and even without high blood pressure, all I felt up to doing was sitting on the sofa while my mum cooked dinner!!! Show this thread to your dh and explain how important it is to you to stay and rest.

Original poster

trixymalixy · 16/12/2006 19:17

yikes, you're all scaring me now!!

hadn't thought that I'd have to take hospital bag, car seat etc just in case!!

Yes this is my first and I'm due on 21st jan so will be 37 weeks at new year.

OP posts:

CouldEquallyHaveBeenAnAardvark · 16/12/2006 19:20

Don't do it.

Ask your DH if he'd be happy delivering a baby in the snow in the car.

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 16/12/2006 19:42

I wouldn't go anywhere. I'm sure they'll be coming to see you and the new baby soon enough, it's a waste of everyone's time and your energy to go see them.

oranges · 16/12/2006 19:45

God please don't go. There is every chance you can go into labour.

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel · 16/12/2006 19:46

Stay at home and rest.
Let them come to you instead, and let DH be on tea-making duty.

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 16/12/2006 19:51

Sod your dh, THEY will understand.

Original poster

trixymalixy · 30/12/2006 19:54

Just to update, we did just visit my DH's sister and have made it back home safe and sound. Although the weather was shocking so DH drove really slowly.

Thanks to everyone who posted!

OP posts:

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