Your best jokes for Chrismas crackers

[ethelb]

For some reason I decided to make Xmas crackers this year. I have everything except the jokes. Got any good ones?!

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

(or do you want Christmassy jokes?)

This is ds's favourite and it's great for disgusting little boys :

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
NO you're a poo! 💩

Christmassy would be good!

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snow balls!! (appreciate it might not be child friendly but does make me chuckle!)

Not seasonal but topical:
"What is the internal temperature of a Ton Ton?"
"Luke warm."

who delivers the presents to baby sharks.........santa jaws

My one and only joke.
What's pink and hangs out of men's trousers?
Their feet.

Or I saw this one on FB, I think it was posted by Michael Rosen.

Someone has taken my German Christmas cake. It's been stollen.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Can you smell carrots?

Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker ' I know what you are getting for Christmas - I have felt your presents'.

Why do elves go to school? To learn the elphabet.

What do you get if you eat the Christmas decorations! Tinselitis.

What did the grape say when the elephant trod on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine (wine)

What do you get when you cross a snowman & a vampire? Frostbite

How do Snowmen travel? By icicle!

What do you call a 3-legged donkey? Wonkey!

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?

There was a weigh in the manger!

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas lunch?

Twerky!

What are Father Christmas's helpers called? Subordinate Clauses!

What do you call a reindeer in a yoghurt pot? A moose!