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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Sudden extra children at Christmas.....

27 replies

welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 11:21

My friend and her DH have just signed up as emergency foster carers. They've now been given a family of 4 to look after up to and over Christmas, this is as well as their 3 teenage kids. No way are they complaining as this is what they wanted to do but I'd like to help in some way. Apart from offering Christmas presents for the extra children has anyone got any other bright ideas?
(they're are very sweet and apparently have so few things of their own that they can't quite understand being given something, bless 'em)

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NAB3 · 13/12/2006 11:22

How old are the children?

xmasmummy · 13/12/2006 11:24

old clothes? what ages are they i might have some decent clothes left from my kids? few nice food bits for whole family- a hamper maybe?

Tortington · 13/12/2006 11:26

give sex & ages, let see what we've got.

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 11:34

There are girls of 11, 8 and 5 and a boy of 3.
Food bits is a top idea, I'll get some extra in.
Should make it clear that I'm not suggesting a big mumsnet response (although the kindness of mn is a miracle to behold) just some quick hits I could sort out locally.

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katzg · 13/12/2006 11:35

a night off!!!

Tortington · 13/12/2006 11:38

i think thegirls may enjoy some pampering bits - bath balls and smellies. and they are quite cheap especially in places with market stalls.

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 11:41

Hi Katz - yep, that's another good one - cheers and the bath stuff too custardo.

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DizzyBinterWonderland · 13/12/2006 11:42

board games? so all of them can play together, get to know each other. there's that really good one with playdo and things, like pictionary.

xmasmummy · 13/12/2006 11:53

i got a few clothes for the 3 year old boy if you want them- couple of pairs jeans, jumpers and t shirts and maybe a coat xxx

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 12:09

Oh xmasmummy, you're very kind. It wasn't my intention when I started the thread and I specifically don't want to put anyone to any trouble. I just wanted some thoughts as I know mumnetters are good at practical stuff.

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xmasmummy · 13/12/2006 12:12

well you might as well take them off my hands hun, my younger ones are girls so i got no use for them.

dara · 13/12/2006 12:13

A big shop for nice things to eat if you can afford it. Go round and help out or invite the older ones to yours or take them out as I assume you wouldn't be allowed to babysit the foster family.

katzg · 13/12/2006 12:13

have they arrived yet? what about organising some crafty bit for them to do - maybe making a 12 days of christmas calender

or a disposable camera so they can take some picks of the children and maybe scrap book them, if these children have very little i doubt they have many photos of themselves this way they will have a permenant reminder of one fab christmas

dara · 13/12/2006 12:15

I think the craft stuff is lovely, but tbh I'd feel under such an obligation to sit down and do it with the kids and show the results to the gift-giver that I personally would find it put me under pressure. With seven children in the house just the cooking and cleaning and tidying would be a huge job. Actually, a cleaner would be a fab Christmas present if she would like it.

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 13/12/2006 12:18

I think some practical help might be good for your friend TBH. Seven children over Christmas. So make her a huge casserole for Christmas Eve maybe. Can you imagine having to feed 9 every night? And especially if the teenagers have adult appetities?

Or could you offer to help wrap presents?

Somebody mentioned pampering gifts. Maybe you could arrange a pamper night and go over there and do the girls' toenails, facials etc for a bit of fun?

sunnysideup · 13/12/2006 12:22

katz, that's a brilliant idea, you are clever to think of that. One issue that children in care often really struggle with is identity....they sometimes have very split/complicated families and may not know birth parents/fathers or may have been abused by them, and this along with being 'abandoned' to the care system really attacks their sense of identity.

It's very correct that they may have almost no photos of themselves and often they have no coherent 'history' so some disposable cameras for them to record their time over christmas could be brilliant...and helping them make up an album before they go so they could take this with them could be good. A history of christmas 2006....get your friend to run this past the social worker though, just to make sure this wouldn't raise any particular issues (eg there is no parent waiting to destroy any reminder of their time away or something )

I think the main thing your friends can do is accept whatever behaviour comes even if it is difficult. Don't let them romanticise how it could all be - it might be harder and more upsetting than they think, I'm sad to say. But I do hope it goes really well!

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 12:26

xmasmummy - that is lovely of you and yes please - I know she would be very grateful as they have so little. One dress the 5 year old was given she will not now take off as it is so pretty compared with her old clothes.
Yes they've arrived Katz - was originally for one night only, last week, so you can imagine that my friend is rather making it up as she goes along. She's a total star, she really is.
thanks for all this by the way.

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busybusymum · 13/12/2006 12:30

hi I was a childminder for some children in foster care and when they left I gave the girls (they were 7&9)their own toiletries, and had never had their own toothbrushes before

One thing I would say is ask SS what is available as my friends just mentioned to their SW "could they be given their old school uniforms to wash and sort ready for school term starting" as they came to them during a holiday period. SW said "oh dont worry about it just go out and spend upto £100 each and we'll will reimburse you!" There was also money available for christmas presents, birthdays and holidays.
Dont be afraid to ask.

BettySpaghetti · 13/12/2006 12:33

How about organising a trip out? To see Father Christmas, the Christmas lights or something else festive. Take photos so they will hold on to their memories of the day.

katzg · 13/12/2006 12:35

welshmum - if they can go down the photo/scrapbook route, i have some fab bits and pieces i would love to contribute

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 12:38

Will get back to you on that Katz. Will tell friend to ask about money available busybusymum

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paulaplumpbottom · 13/12/2006 12:42

I think the pictures are a wonderful idea!!!!!!

I think also maybe just doing the family Christmas thing, shopping, caroling, warmth & love.
how do you think you'll cope?

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 13/12/2006 12:51

Oh it's not me - it's my most excellent mate, and she'll be fine I think. We're all getting together what we can offer/do which is making her feel a bit better about the scale of things.

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Leslaki · 13/12/2006 20:21

why not treat your friend to a voucher froma local ironing service? Can't imagine what a nightmare it would be doing the ironing for so many! My dh did this for me a couple of times when we were snowed under and it is so nice to have your unironed stuff carted off and brought back on hangers all nicely ironed.
Some fab ideas for the kids though! can you do them a stocking each?

Original poster
welshmumwithsparklybits · 14/12/2006 11:12

I went to help with bedtime last night - which is a bit of a challenge as you'd expect. The kids are just lovely and so caring of each other, they were delighted with a few soft toys I'd liberated from dd's enormous collection and it made me feel so damned guilty about the sort of family life they're missing out on. They so wanted something that was theirs and theirs alone.
Anyway I just wanted to say thanks for all the suggestions - going round and being on hand with a bit of extra love and attention seems to be as good as anything else. I couldn't believe the 3 year old was on my knee with his arms round my neck within 2 minutes of meeting me, I wanted to cry.

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